What is the success rate of relationships that encounter cheating? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-07-2010, 02:42 PM Thread Starter
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What is the success rate of relationships that encounter cheating?

I'm wasting away trying to make this right. I'm in agony watching us fall apart due to my cheating. all we do is fight. HELP!!!!!!

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-07-2010, 03:11 PM
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Re: What is the success rate of relationships that encounter cheating?

The success rate is surprisingly high. It takes both people to do their part in recovering. There are specific things you should be doing, and things your partner needs to do too. But if you are both committed, then you can recover and regain even more of a successful and fulfilling relationship than you had before.

I would suggest that you pursue some form of professional therapy. Call around and make appointments with several professionals. Ask if they'll do a mini-session (Saves money if you don't click with that certain therapist/coach), and also ask if they specialize in recovering from affairs.

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-07-2010, 07:10 PM
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Re: What is the success rate of relationships that encounter cheating?

I've ask myself that question as well, I guess if you are really willing to totally commit to your partner and they know this without any uncertainlty then you will have a shot....it's the doubt that keeps things in limbo......
You can't be in the marriage and still be connected at all with the OW/OM and expect your BS to trust you.......
You have already made a fool of them, they will not be able to take anymore let downs in the relationship.....
Love them the way they want and be grateful that they haven't shown you the door.....
I think a lot of relationships survive because the couples make it a lot better then it was, communication, physical touch, affection and truly making sure the other is happy is the key..
BS feel like they have been traded for a new better model and that is hard to take.....they question their self worth and they are their belief system is shattered....all those things need to be worked on by both spouses....
If you are truly working on a better you for your spouse, make sure they know how you feel and how you want them to feel, don't hold anything back, be willing to do whatever it takes.....
It's sad that we only figure out what is important when it's almost gone......
There are a lot of good people here with great advice to help you and to give you an ear to listen...
I'm the BS in my situation and I'm trying to understand why things have changed between us and how my husband could just throw our life away for someone else......
We are trying as well to fix what is wrong and be better partners for each other
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-07-2010, 07:56 PM
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Re: What is the success rate of relationships that encounter cheating?

The fact that you admit to having an affair and have regrets goes a long way. That's something many of us never see. Seek counseling and read self help books. Hope things work out for you.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-07-2010, 10:45 PM
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Re: What is the success rate of relationships that encounter cheating?

Fighting is not communicating get a pro to help.
What helped me was my cheating wife became very forthcoming with every thing
I believe she's told me every thing. second she tells me who texted her and that she didn't respond, 3rd, who's called and she did'nt pick up, 4th she allows me to see her emails. 5th see calles when she gets to work, on her break, her lunch, and when shes off.
She has gone far and appove what I could have expexted in her commitment to fixing our marriage. With out even asking she is showing me her time card, paycheck stubs, account statement, reciepts and phone records.
She tells me " I want no doubt in our mind that I am commited' and she thanks me multiable times a day for changing My behavior and not leaving her. So reconicilation can work and for now we are doing great. (when we hit hard times we go see a pro for a few)
I tell her "I can forgive but I can't forget".
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