So it has been 4 weeks to the day that my wife told me about her EA. I have been through hell and back but something happened yesterday that changed everything.
Yesterday morning I was feeling the worst so far emotionally. I was actually so upset that I was planning on doing something really crazy and stupid. I was planning things from going and kicking the OM's a$$, emailing his wife all the phone records (he never told her anything to try and save his marriage), or going out to get plowed and find a one night relationship. I was seriously considering these things.
Then it hit me that I should contact a friend of mine (who happens to be female) who is going through the same exact crap that I am. We spoke for over an hour and she had some amazing advice and insight. After I spoke with her I never felt calmer in my entire life. I felt like my head was clear for the first time since my wife's EA. I was amazed at how there really is someone else out there that could put me at so much ease. This is something I have never felt with my wife. Ever.
I feel like I am seeing straight for the first time and I feel like I am being able to detach myself from what happened and just let my wife go in my mind. Just let her figure things out on her own. In my head when I think about her leaving me, I feel really calm. I feel like if she did leave that it wouldn't matter and that I could be so happy with someone who has a more loyal heart like myself.
What do you make of this? It's weird that I feel so free, clear headed, and okay about these thoughts.
Yesterday morning I was feeling the worst so far emotionally. I was actually so upset that I was planning on doing something really crazy and stupid. I was planning things from going and kicking the OM's a$$, emailing his wife all the phone records (he never told her anything to try and save his marriage), or going out to get plowed and find a one night relationship. I was seriously considering these things.
Then it hit me that I should contact a friend of mine (who happens to be female) who is going through the same exact crap that I am. We spoke for over an hour and she had some amazing advice and insight. After I spoke with her I never felt calmer in my entire life. I felt like my head was clear for the first time since my wife's EA. I was amazed at how there really is someone else out there that could put me at so much ease. This is something I have never felt with my wife. Ever.
I feel like I am seeing straight for the first time and I feel like I am being able to detach myself from what happened and just let my wife go in my mind. Just let her figure things out on her own. In my head when I think about her leaving me, I feel really calm. I feel like if she did leave that it wouldn't matter and that I could be so happy with someone who has a more loyal heart like myself.
What do you make of this? It's weird that I feel so free, clear headed, and okay about these thoughts.