Hes cheating and I feel like a fool
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 02-10-2014, 11:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Hes cheating and I feel like a fool

My partner of 14 years and husband of 9 is cheating on me. I feel like a complete fool. I loved him with everything in me. I would have done anything for him. He told me he wants a divorce on January 12th, completly our of no where. Our life wasnt perfect but I thought we were happy. We just bought a home a year and a half ago..were getting ready to start to have a family. He told me the day before he asked for a divorce that he was ready to start trying. It was all a lie.. a lie because he was too afraid to tell me the truth. Too Afraid to be a man. Since this happened, I found out that he has been cheating on me since at least June of 2013. Maybe even before that. He said he wants to be with someone spanish. He works at a greenhouse and apparently they hire all illegal citizens and the woman he is with, is one of them. I recently found downloaded pictures of naked latina girls from 2011..and when he asked for a divorce he said he hasnt been happy in a few years. If that was the case, why did he wait until we bought a house and not tell me then? I just feel so stupid. I believed every word he ever said. I trusted him with everything. I never thought he would become this man. He even tells me now that they are just friends nothing more but i know its a lie. He just keeps lieing to me.. I feel so sick all the time. I just dont know how to get through this. Everyone tells me to detach and do the 180.. Its so hard to just detach from the man i have known and loved for so long. I dont know how this happened to me. I dont know where to go from here. I wish I could fast foward time so that i didnt have to deal with this right now. I am just sick..
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Old 02-10-2014, 11:12 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hes cheating and I feel like a fool

MJ, please implement the 180 and file for divorce ASAP. Take back some control.
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Old 02-10-2014, 11:24 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hes cheating and I feel like a fool

This is the fourth thread you have started about the same thing. Do you think you're going to get a different answer or something?

This may sound harsh, but snap out of it. Your husband is a cheater. You and he are getting divorced. I get that you're devastated, but unless you smarten up and pick yourself up and get busy doing what you need to do, things will never get better.

Have you been tested for STD's? Made an appt with a lawyer? A dr.? A counselor?
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Old 02-10-2014, 11:39 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hes cheating and I feel like a fool

Keep this in mind. Cheaters will often times rewrite the marriage history. If he says he has not been happy in the marriage and you didn't see it, he has a new perspective on things that are not grounded in reality. It is justification for moving on. Don't apply reason to his actions and statements.

If the girl or girls are illegal, then they are highly motivated to find a man here in the states.
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Old 02-10-2014, 11:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Hes cheating and I feel like a fool

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope1964 View Post
This is the fourth thread you have started about the same thing. Do you think you're going to get a different answer or something?

This may sound harsh, but snap out of it. Your husband is a cheater. You and he are getting divorced. I get that you're devastated, but unless you smarten up and pick yourself up and get busy doing what you need to do, things will never get better.

Have you been tested for STD's? Made an appt with a lawyer? A dr.? A counselor?
I agree that you have too many threads all saying the same thing. Keep it all on one thread, it gets too confusing.
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