my husband is a compulsive liar
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Old 07-08-2008, 08:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy my husband is a compulsive liar

how many ladies out there feel me?

my husband is a compulsive liar.and he lies about unnesssary stuff. why do men do this? its so hurtful and irritating especially when you know the truth, and they just wont admit it. in the past 2 months i have gotten to see a a whole new side of my husband that i didnt know existed. i found out he smokes cigarettes and( among other things), which he lied about. he was calling , texting, and flirting with other women, which he lied about. and although he wont admit to sleeping with any of them, i wouldnt put it past him cause he has lied so many times. he has several female freinds so im not sure which ones are friends and which ones are more. he has claimed to have cut all ties with the women that he used to flirt with, but im not so sure he has.its like every time i think we have gotten somewhere, (gotten the truth out) then something else comes up. we are going to counseling. and i feel its helping. ( at least its helping me) but im beginning to think that my husband is just on for the ride.i dont think he is taking it seriously. ive brought up the lying situation in counseling, and he says he lies when hes backed into a corner (claimes its stemmed over from childhood), but thats not true. he might have lied as a child but he tells the truth when hes backed into a corner. he just lies off the top of his head when i ask a simple question. im guessing he's thinking where is this question leading? i dont know. but the thing is im not even the nagging and questioning type person and he knows that. ive never baggered him about anything. for examplejust the othere day i asked him when was the last time he went to this particular website. (this website had comments from some of the women that he said he wasnt going to communicate with) well he lied and said he hadnt been on the website lately, then got caught in his lie because there were recently added friends( a girl and a guy). and he had to go on the site in order to add the friends.well i told him the comments thats the girls left were inappropriate for a married man to have on his page. well he deleted them, and while he was doing so, he was so defensive ...saying its not like he was on there everyday, doing anything....i told him i never said he was. i just asked when the last time you were on here. .and he said it seemed like i was accusing him of something. i dont know how cause i never said anything like that. why does he get so defensive? a guilty conscience maybe?thats what got me so confused, if you so innocent then why lie. why were those comments still on his page and why were these girls still saved as friends.even though he deleted them im still not so sure this is the end. when does the lying stop??????????????????? what can i do to get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.? someone please help!
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Old 07-08-2008, 09:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: my husband is a compulsive liar

Quote:
Originally Posted by nappilymarried View Post
my husband is a compulsive liar.and he lies about unnesssary stuff. why do men do this? its so hurtful and irritating especially when you know the truth, and they just wont admit it. !
Men don't do this, your husband did. It only goes to show a sexist, bias when you say things like that.

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Old 07-08-2008, 10:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: my husband is a compulsive liar

sorry to offend you draconis. i didnt mean to. i am not a sexist. i was just venting about my husband. i know there are men out there somewhere that don't lie. i just don't seem to married to one. and i thought i knew him. im hurt and feel betrayed.
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Old 07-08-2008, 10:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: my husband is a compulsive liar

I think women are either better liars or men are just too oblivious to notice the lies In my case it's my wife that has been an unpleasant surprise with how easily she lies about things. This has been my experience with every relationship I have ever been in so more than likely I just gravitate to the women who tend to lie.....a lot.
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Old 07-08-2008, 03:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: my husband is a compulsive liar

Let's face it. We as people tend to go towards those that offer the most. Many times they never deliver but it is what they offer that attracts us.

Most people lie, some to a higher degree then others. The best thing I have found is building an open line of communication so the act of lying isn't needed (or atleast should not be).

Many people are indeed bad communicators and most think they are better then they are.

So what to do about a lying spouce? Open communications. Point out the lies and let them know they are not needed and are offensive.

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