Only you can decide if you can or want to R. And even if you WANT to, it doesn't mean you can. And even if you CAN, it doesn't mean you want to.
I tried, really hard. I swallowed my pride and comforted her when she realized I had moved on and slept with someone else. After that happened she decided she wanted to R, and I had wanted to all along, because I knew I had to TRY and save my family. I couldn't just give up.
I soon realized I could not and did not want to reconcile. I realized the betrayal was too deep, I wasn't willing to spend the rest of my days policing her, worrying, wondering, having mind movies, being angry, not trusting, and dealing with that brutal struggle within every Goddamned day. I realized life is too short to continue dedicating my life to someone who threw me away like a piece of dog sh*t. I'm better than that, I can do better than her, and why would I want to live with someone like that?
So, I am eagerly awaiting the divorce to come through. It is filed.
The choice is yours and yours alone. Nobody, NOBODY has any say but you (unless she doesn't want to R). But this is your game now. You hold the cards. Don't feel you have to R - because you don't. And realize this - if you decide you want to stay with her, you will live a very different life, just like if you D. Your trust is gone, gone for good. A part of you has died and it will never fully come back. Can you live with the consequences of her cheating, and live with her too? I couldn't do it.
Divorce is scary, but living a lie is even scarier.
Best to you whatever you decide.