Is my wife having an emotional affair.
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Coping with Infidelity » Is my wife having an emotional affair.

Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 10-05-2010, 03:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Is my wife having an emotional affair.

Hello I have been married 15 years with 2 great kids. My wife has a friend who is a lesbian who she meet in her old job. Her friend calls from time to time when im not home for some time now. i thought nothing of it since i trust my wife and i HAD asked her in the past about her, and she said she made it clear to her that she was not gay and had no interest in her...no the other day i was on m y computer and happened to open up an email that she had on her private email account and this is it this is from her to my wife..




Now that's a much better pic of you and your sister. You look really hot

I still love the other one.

From what I can see of the dress it looks beautiful. So what was this picture from?

You can send me all the picture you want, I would love to see them.


As you can see in this photo I hate pic. taken. Chris from Amserdam was pushy. I will see if some how I can send from Laptop at home to work with out getting questioned. You know what I mean.

143


my wifes friend has a girlfriend which she lives with.

and 143 is code for i love you. let me know what u think...
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Old 10-05-2010, 03:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

Thats a tuff one
Nothen really there but keep looking
Your intution/gut feeling is always right
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Old 10-05-2010, 03:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

Quote:
Originally Posted by the guy View Post
Thats a tuff one
Nothen really there but keep looking
Your intution/gut feeling is always right
yes i know red flags are you look hot and that code 143
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Old 10-05-2010, 03:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

Chicks are funny that way, enless you get the "last night was great" or "you felt so good" text, a PA may not be proven. You deffinetly can see an EA forming so you should tell your wife you are uncomfortable with the relationship between them and that your gut feeling is this relationship with the lesbo is not healty for your marriage. Hopefuly you get the respect from your wife and this relationship dies down (at the very least).
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Old 10-06-2010, 07:06 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

Agree with the guy. I don't think there is anything really there (women place great emphasis on how they look, and they compliment each other that way). Tell her that this is making you uncomfortable and if she wishes to discuss this and respects your wishes, then give her the benefit of the doubt. If she goes ballistic on you and accuses you of spying and snooping, then your marriage is about to become a whole new ballgame.
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

Here's what bothers me - she shouldn't be flirting with your wife (telling her she looks hot) and this: "how I can send from Laptop at home to work with out getting questioned. You know what I mean." So she's basically saying she can't send pictures of herself to your wife, so she has to send them to her work (and then to your wife) - so she's hiding her "friendship" with your wife from her girlfriend. I'd confront your wife and see what's going on.
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Old 02-10-2013, 04:50 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

She has a code to say I love you? That's a little weird.
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Old 02-10-2013, 05:04 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

The 143 code is common.

Women tell each other they are hot all the time!
They have different speak then us manly dudes! I agree with the poster who said trust your gut though.

Also, have you questioned her in the past about this?

I think my wife may be a lesbian also, so I know the questioning lines.
Here is a test. Find an obvious flaw in this other woman.
Say her lips, hair, etc...

Then tell your wife: "her lips/hair looks like a gorillas!" or whatever.
Then wait to see how fast your wife comes to her defense and if she got angry w you for saying that.

It is not by itself proof but another nugget of it.
Well, that's my opinion of course.
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

My STBXW's last affair was with a lesbian, so maybe I can help. All along she insisted she was "just a good friend", but my gut told me otherwise. I even bluntly asked her at the time if she was involved with her lesbian friend, and she lied to my face.

So, my first question is: Has your wife ever introduced you to her? I was never introduced to this good "friend" of hers. She never talked to her on the phone when I was around, only texted and sent FB messages. This was out of character when it came to talking and interacting with all of her other normal friends. I personally knew them all, and most had come to our house while I was there. Not so with the lesbian lover.

Second question: Does your wife delete texts and messages from this lesbian friend? Does it seem she is trying to hide the extent of their relationship?

Third question: Has your wife ever shown sexual interest in other women, even inadvertently?

Finally, does your wife tell any of her other friends "I love you"?

"I love you" is not the same as "Luv ya" or "Hugs" or similar girlfriend speak.

I would say you need more evidence. I didn't catch my WW until I put a VAR under her car seat and listened to the conversations they were having in her car. It really helped that my WW was using hands-free mode...so I could hear both sides of the conversation. So, your first order of business is to become a PI:

1.) Put a VAR in her car, and in a room where she may talk on the phone a lot. They are not expensive, and can be found at Best Buy, Radio Shack, etc.

2.) Keylogger on the computer.

3.) GPS tracker, either on her phone or get a separate unit. I bought a cheap one from Brickhouse. It wasn't real-time, but I could retrieve the unit from her car, download it onto my computer, and see where she had been driving. It ran on batteries, and was activated by the motion of the car. It had a magnet that conveniently attached to the bottom of the car seat. My wife had been spending a lot of time at her lesbian lovers apartment, all the while claiming to be other places (shopping, etc.)

4.) Check her text/call logs on her phone. Are they constantly calling and texting each other? Is your wife deleting evidence?

Do not confront your wife on this matter until you have irrefutable evidence. And never reveal your sources!
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:20 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Is my wife having an emotional affair.

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