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After she got to know i exposed it to her "CEO" she hates me and blames me for everything. I have taken care of the kid for the last 2.9 yrs. I am unable to get in touch with her "CEO's" wife I wish could but not working.
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A little advice to start: in reality you have not exposed it to her lover (he is already fully aware of it, eh?) - you CONFRONTED him - and hopefully requested that he end the affair.
Exposure means that you uncover the affair, let it be seen by those to whom the 'lovers' (awful use of that word!) have lied. It is an uncovering of the secret.
Regarding being unable to approach her 'lover' is not as big a problem as you might expect: in pretty much every affair, the cheaters are highly unlikely to stop because a hurt spouse asks them to. The only way this would be effective is if the Other Man (or Woman) is unaware that a marriage exists. In that case, hearing from the wounded spouse can be quite effective.
So don't pursue that avenue any farther - he isn't going to pay any attention to you anyway - especially if your wife has already described you as controlling, manipulative, and unloving. He'll just perceive anything you say through the filter that has been set up by your wife.
On the other hand, contacting the HR department is a VERY good idea. They are very sensitive to the threat of sexual misconduct by their employees, and will take at least some steps that can create stress for the 'lovers'. Nothing stops you from contacting them - it is irrelevant if he is their boss: the business will be unwilling to avoid legal matters.
You can also keep investigating the CEO's life to find his wife. Diligence can pay off here.
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She says she now is convinced that she needs a divorce as i was never a good husband and now have brought her shame.
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Guilt is a great way to manipulate you! If she can make this be all your fault, you'll back off and let her keep cheating on her husband. I can only wonder what kind of shame a cheating wife brings a faithful husband!
This is an example of what we call 'foggy' or 'dizzy' thinking: she's reversed reality to justify her affair. She can (and will) say all kinds of absurd things.
If she does bring this up, you can always turn this on her - if she says how you've brought shame on her, reply by admitting how shameful it is to have a cheating wife.
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She threatened to call my parents to let them know that she cant live with me any more and would file a divorce. I spoke about this to my mum and called my wife back the next day and handed the phone to my mum so she could have a word but my wife hung up.
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This is excellent. You called her bluff. At the same time, you have exposed the affair to your parents. This creates stress on her - she won't be able to use them against you, which is often a necessity to keep an affair active.
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I found that this guy was checking and reading my mails to my wife. So sent him and my wife this morning an email mentioning that he should stop reading my emails.
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Stop emailing this guy! Stop talking to him at all! There is no way this will help you - and in fact, may be doing more harm than good. Send emails to your wife
knowing that he will read them. Make them loving and kind, talk about the things the kids are doing, etc. Do not plead, or beg, or threaten - simply relate things from home. Let him read you emails to her talking about all the nice stuff you are doing. That can be a two-edged sword - she'll hear stuff she is missing, and he'll be describing how nice things are with you. My guess is that he'll stop reading them quickly enough.
Advice: Stop concentrating on him and concentrate on your marriage. Ignore him, he is a distraction, a gnat, not worthy of your notice.
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In this whole process i have not got in touch with my wife, all i did was sent her a mail saying she is always welcome provided she comes out of her fantasy land and says sorry to out son for what she has been doing. I will be doing a few more exposures tomorrow.
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Instead of requesting that she come out of her fantasy and apologize, try this instead: respectfully request that she end the affair, and that her home is open as long as she agrees to these three non-negotiable conditions: 1) She writes her boss a 'No Contact' letter which
you read and
you mail. This means she'll have to quit her job (non-negotiable) 2) You both agree to transparent honesty (all passwords, log-ins, etc. shared. 3) You both commit to working on your marriage.
She'll most likely laugh at that - but that is irrelevant. Those things are necessary if you wish to remain married. And if the affair dies, and she wants to return -
those conditions will still remain. At that point she'll be reconsidering them.
Your job (regarding those conditions) is to simply make them known and keep them non-negotiable. Don't push them on her, but always take the opportunity to restate them whenever situations change.
Here's something to keep in mind: you cannot work on your marriage while an affair is ongoing. This means that right now, your job is to do all you can to end that affair.
Here is a series of steps you can take that are very effective - look them over. Quote:
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He is himself married with two kids and is married for 12 yrs. I wanted to let my wife know that he is trying to be more controlling than i ever was because she accused me of this.
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While she is deep in the dizziness of her affair, she will not listen AT ALL to any rational reasoning. You will not be able to logically help the affair end by pointing out these things. Logic is essential, of course - any other way of acting will mean the death of your marriage - but you must, right now, be reasoning with the understanding that she is filtering EVERYTHING you say in a way that justifies her affair. And, more to the point: calling you controlling is STANDARD cheater script.
Nattu Khattu's Thread 
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