Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.

What type of man chases married woman?

82K views 319 replies 84 participants last post by  aine 
#1 ·
So here's my question. Why would a beautiful woman with a family and a financially secure life date a guy who's wife claims he always try's to start relationships with married woman.

The other part is my wife for 25 years ripped into woman who had affairs, she also said men who chase married woman are the scum of the earth. But in her case where she believed she gave him the "look" it was ok to have an affair, and then even after he admitted it was he who started it, she believes that he is a better, deeper, has more soul, sweeter and kinder man than me. The scary thing is all of his friends and colleagues who know that he runs religious tours in Israel, seem to condone his affair with my wife. And those that don't he covers it up by making like he rescued her from a horrific life with me.

Ladies men who pursue married woman are sick, they have a desire to get what is not there's, they WILL CHEAT on you too eventually ....
 
#122 ·
Cry in your car or in the park. Don't let your wife see you as weak.

Come here and b!tch about her, POSOM, or anything.

Of course you need to cry and vent, this is a terrible, terrible life event.

Just act strong when she is around. Laugh with your kids. Watch a silly movie, go punch some Sh!t at the gym. Anything but engage with your wife.

She needs to know she is a castaway on a deserted island and you are not going to save her. When she starts her crazy Sh!t on that bus driver, he is going to throw her straight under the proverbial bus. Wait and see how fast she wakes up when you are not there to listen to the drama. Pretty damn fast I'll bet.
 
#125 ·
South Carolina is one. 'Bout the only good thing about this state though. Well, that and golf courses galore.
 
#128 ·
I should have said more male-friendly. Thank God I don't live in California. There are lots of states you can file at-fault but the laws vary wildly and so does what is considered at-fault. It would have been difficult to prove but both my lawyer and I were confident that it could be proven based on testimony from her ex friends, screenshots of forum posts, and me having access to all of her e-mails. Wish I could have gotten screenshots of her facebook account but she erased it the day after D-day.

The mass of highly graphic (highly pornographic) pictures she sent at random and the ones that he requested so she sent are pretty damning too. While telling him that our son was locked in his room and crying so he couldn't catch her... So glad that I can type that and not start crying now.

In any event I never had to prove it. She was too scared of having my evidence presented (and you know, having to face reality) and waaay too scared of having my evidence presented while her mother was there so she just bent and agreed to almost everything I wanted.

Of course I'll never be my sons custodial parent. Joint legal custody with no veto rights for her was a huge win though. She doesn't get spousal support but everything she pays on was claimed as spousal support by my lawyer, and they never objected. There was a reason for that though since it appears she is going to file bankruptcy soon and this keeps my house and cars safe.

You know if you can't file at-fault in your state but you have the evidence to prove it conclusively and you have money to burn you can move to Alaska and file for D their on the day you get some mail. Then you can file at-fault in Alaska. You'll just have to go to court there. I think there are other states that allow you to file at-fault with no residency as well but I can't remember what states they are.

If you have money to burn you can use the system that's already rigged against you (because you have a penis) to your advantage as best you can.

I mean I would like to live in a world where I could tell the judge hey, look, she locked our one year old son in his room and he was crying (by her own admition) so she could take these exact extremely pornographic pictures to send to the man she was cheating on our family with. So can I, you know, see my son half of his life? But no it doesn't work that way. I can get 65% of the marital assets because of that. Well even that isn't enough. I can get 65% of the assets because she admitted to physical intercourse and talked to him about it. Not like in those vanilla words though. In horrible words.

Oh well, guess you lose some and win some. At least I don't have to come home from work to a wife that won't hold my hand or hug me anymore.
 
#129 ·
A friend of mine got divorced in the state of Kansas. The only way that she learned that her husband was buying property with his mistress was thanks to a state law that stipulated that married people cannot buy property without the written consent of their spouse.

So, to all those people who are dead against snooping, isn't it nice to knwo that at least one US state protects people in some way who are married to cheaters.
 
#130 ·
If your in a collaborative process in NYS you have to be totally transparent until the last D paper is signed. We were told we have to,still share our accounts.

I was able to nix the idea of my WAS paying half for her POS 's hotel rooms since he is going broke. Plus I was able to block her from buying plane tickets. You have to stay within what was reasonable and customary during the marriage. One vacation a year, one over seas every two to three was customary. We went to Florida for Christmas. She went to Israel and spent about 2 k including tickets, wants to go again....not on my dime...the attorneys agreed ...our marital assets including her income are NOT TO be used to fund her relationship.

So I would look into the collaborative process if your state has it, as long as you to can be in the same room without murdering each other.. ;)
 
#135 ·
I've never been with a married woman. But I've never been against it either though in the sense of just sex. It could be if he knew you well that he knew your relationship was already weak and he cared about her. Or it could just be that he doesn't know you doesn't care that she'd be cheating on you because you were no one special to him so there was no promise to him not to have sexual relations with your wife. With you out of the equation then it's all dependent on what he and your stbx want.

That's how it was for me and my married man. I never wanted him as a boyfriend though or coaxed him to leave his wife all I really was interested in was having a good time and nothing serious.

Also just because one had sexual relations with a married person doesn't mean they'd chose to cheat as well. I've always been honest with anyone I was intimate with. I never would stay in an unhappy relationship. However I was well willing to have an intimate relationship with a guy who was married with kids because to me that was his choice. My concern on his personal decisions weren't really my business therefore I found no reason to not have sex with him just because he decided to cheat on his wife.
 
#137 · (Edited)
This shows that you're not able to really think or care about anyone other than yourself. It's a selfish entitled attitude, and while you say you wouldn't cheat on your spouse because you sleep with a married man, you're only one lame excuse away and you've shown you can come up with some real gems pretty easily. You're 90% there already... His personal choices are your business once you inject yourself into the situation. Why not let him sleep with someone else and keep some dignity and self respect instead of being his free prostitute? Because you don't really have any respect for marriage, relationship or just people in general.. like those kids of his you mentioned as if they were things. You'd help him destroy lives, instead of letting some other tramp do it.. that speaks volumes of your lack of character.


"I found no reason to not have sex with him" I have a few..

he's a cheat and a liar

he's married with kids

you didn't want him as a boyfriend

you can have a 'good time' with a guy that's not married, go to a bar and let them know it doesn't take any effort to get you in bed

if you're completely honest with men, they will use you for sex and run, you might want to start lying to them like most cheaters do, pretend you care about people other than yourself. You'll die lonely, but you'll get lots of sex.
 
#136 ·
"I found no reason to not have sex with him just because he decided to cheat on his wife."

OK...you figure its his choice to cheat.

But WTF gives you the right to insult and injure a woman who had never done a da*n thing to you?

There is no excuse for you wronging her...so your actions are just as disgusting as his, even though you never made vows to her.
 
#146 ·
What type of man chases married woman? --- A predator.

These guys sniff out insecurities and tell women what they want to hear. Unhappy married women are easy targets for them.

Also, taking another man's wife is an ego boost for them.

I think most of these guys can't form a real relationship with an independent woman.

Guys like him need the constant thrill and she won't provide it forever. He'll move on to someone else's wife.

Eventually, someone will either shoot him or cut his **** off -- and in the Middle East, I'd say his chances of ending up ****less are pretty good.

.
 
#254 ·
So I can of got into it with the WAS a few times today.
It should be excusable because today Should in Theory be our 28th Wedding anniversary.

I have to go into more details on my private thread. I am just not secure posting it here.

But basically everything in your post is what I pointed out to her.

I know I pissed her off, but I think I hit some nerves.
 
#152 ·
I did not ask for this.

When she first came home for some reason she asked me whats the normal size.

I said I dont know I dont walk around measuring

she said hes over 6'2" tall and he reminded me of the boys when they were kids!!

so I said, " after that he twisted your arm?" (she injured her shoulder claiming she slipped in the shower)

This time she came home with a huge bruise on her Buttocks that looks like a kick and scrapes down her leg!

She told me that they were hiking and she slipped . Two days latter I asked her, "When did you tell him that you wanted to keep the relationship plutonic for now until you got your head straight?" She says while we where hiking.
 
#151 ·
But I have committed that if he comes to the USA again and she sees him..

I am putting all her clothes in the Storage facility down the road from me and that's it .


You do see why this has continued as long as it has? You keep drawing a line in the sand then watch the tide wash it away then draw another etc etc!! She doesn't believe you anymore!!

You said in another post that she keeps coming back to you...:scratchhead: Or is it really that she keeps coming back to where her kids are, work etc and stays at the house!!
 
#157 ·
Chastising Steve for his conversation with WAW will only cause him to drop this thread and start again somewhere else. He does not like to hear the advice that is offered.
 
#158 ·
Steve How much more emotional abuse you are going to take from your wife... she is talking to you about her lovers penile problems for crying our loud, Seriously? send her away!! let her try and live with him in Israel,

I am not sure how much you know about Israel, Tour guides are at the bottom of the "food chain" in a country that their main GNP is based on High tech, Engineering and Sciences, he is a "nobody" she will forget about her North American standard of living and if this what she wants let her go already, you are your own worst enemy taking this kind of abuse from her.

When we were in our 30s, my kids were young, and my Kids Pediatric doctor at that time was a single rather handsome slightly older then us Doctor who took an extreme "interest" in my wife, he would cater for all my kids needs in a rather extreme fashion, he would open up his practice especially for my kids in after hours, for every little think my wife would ask, and would take her calls about my kids at every hour of the day...,
very much like your wife mine is also from a medical background profession, and my wife quickly fell head over heels for him (although she had never admitted to that) , She has dated a med student for a long period of time before we've met and she has definitely a "weakness" to men in that profession

Well you can guess where this was going, my wife approached me one day "informing" me that the good doctor invited her to dinner she is going with him :mad:.

Let me tell you this, I got all the bullcrap about how they are just good friends and all that baloney, I shut it down right there and then, as I knew exactly where this was going, what I told her is very simple

She is an adult and can make her own decision, she can go if she wants, I cannot hold her back or stop her to do what ever she wants, this doctor want to get in to her pants, he is single and is very attracted to her, I can see it, but if she goes, that will be the end of our marriage as I will not wait for her at home while she goes lamenting with another man, and I will file for divorce the next morning, she is free to do what she wants, and so do I.

I got the full blown shenanigans from her, the "you are controlling and jealous" and " you are overbearing" and you are "not letting me have my own friends"

I sat there saying nothing, let me tell you this, she said she is going, but eventually never went and never mentioned his name again, we have switched doctors the week after


your wife will not be waking from this state of mind unless she will feel the pain for her decisions, she is an adult and she must face her decisions, you must make your stand in this once and for all as this will go on forever, as she is never going to look at you ever again as a romantic partner but a mere orbiter

Wake up Steve, find some pride in yourself
 
#161 ·
So this is your "plan" for when your WW got home from her THIRD trip 2 play with the OM?

I'm out, goddammit.

-ol' 2long
 
#175 ·
The TAM guys on those threads are in totally different situations than Steve.

What Steve seeks is advice on how to be a happy cuckold. Most of us on here don't want to give him such advice, either because we don't know or because we know but believe it would be wrong to.
 
#178 ·
And he was your teacher, Mrs. Adams. There was a power differential, and he took advantage of it.

I am glad to see that you are angry with him.
 
This post has been deleted
#180 ·
and yet he pursued me...why? why? why?
not trying to be mean here, just truthful.

because for these men, the ultimate thrill is conquering loyal wives.

In the 8 years I have been lurking, I have also visited player sites. You have to be a special kind of b@stard to
have this men's mentality, they really think nothing about the husbands or kids of the married women they bed, in fact they relieve their conscience putting all the blame on the woman who accept their advances.

As you said, normally they are good looking narcisist socipaths who since teenegers have dated pretty girls, so to intensify the thrill of their "power" they seek to conquest women who are already taken, some even literally brag how they go after women who openly prey about morality and family values bacause having a prude betraying their morals for them gives them the ultimate feeling of conquest, others go after the wives of husbands who brags about having good marriage and having the perfect wife and family, why? because taking his pefect loyal wife from these men gives them the sense of superiority (another source of thrill).

trying to understand their mentallity is useless, because to be able to do what they do, they just destroy any sense of emphaty in themselves, once they acchive their target they go to the next one and forget their last conquest, if anything they jus try to do damage control trying to avoid the woman ratting them after thay are done.

that is why I am a firm believer of endorsing consequences in these sort of persons, as they just care about themselves the only way to make them stop their bahaviour is forcing them to feel the consequence of their actions, to understand that for any action is a proprotional reaction, otherwise they would never stop.
 
#179 ·
I don't know where it is, but someone posted recently about a man who targets married women. He picks them because it is unlikely they will leave their husbands. He said that just for a few compliments and a bit of attention, he gets free sex.

I have a lot of sympathy for you, Mrs. Adams. I may not have explained that very well. I know you were married, and I know you regret it now. But I don't see you as harshly as you see yourself, I think.

That guy was a creep, MJA. A loser. Totally selfish. And there you were, naive, telling your husband you would have left him if the other guy had wanted you to. Totally naive.

And loser dude finally got busted by another gal (or was it her husband?) Hallelujah.

Mr. Adams, did you ever think about talking to the teacher?
 
#185 ·
This has been discussed many times here.

As Manticore has said some of them just get off on the 'thrill' of taking somebody elses wife.

The wife is less likely to harbour any sexual diseases, often there are no condoms or other birth control used. This works with either sex.

Regarding the above there is a ready made unsuspecting hapless mug to raise any children should they get her pregnant.

The wife usually does not want or can't be seen to be in a relationship (hence in MrsJA's case he took her back to his apartment rather than 'out' as planned, he knew better than to advertise the affair such as it was around town) so once the first conquest is out of the way it is just no strings attached sex, no bothering about costly restaurant meals etc.

He knows they aren't going to leave their husband, they can't afford to be clingy. So he feels horny, phones her up, they meet have nookie and they each go home. Job done, his sac is emptied. Must be nice to be regarded as a sperm receptacle.
 
#181 ·
Manticore, were you the one who posted that piece about the guy who targets married women? Could you repost it here?
 
#182 ·
not but you are probably talking about "findingmyway", the one who probably posted him was chaparral, I saw his post for first time quoted by him some time ago.

here on TAM there have been two marital predators, one was "findingmyway" the other was the "bishop".
 
#183 ·
What does any of this have to do with Steve's W's OM? He is not some smooth player that needed the challenge of conquering a loyal spouses devotion to her morals. In this case Steve's W has tossed all morals aside. The OM continues because he likely gets a kick out of seeing a man so emasculated because of something he caused. The OM is power tripping, not because Steve's wife is such a great catch but because he gets something out of it for no serious risk because he has no shame about his actions, just the opposite. Steve's W is so far past the point of being duped and enamored, she too is getting the same thrill by emasculating Steve as her paramour is. That is why they are drawn to each other, not because god lead them to each other but because neither has shame and both get a kick out of seeing how pathetic her H is, and how much abuse he can continue to take. Any person that can put their so called spouse what she is putting Steve through is, IMO, a psychopath.
 
#184 ·
What does any of this have to do with Steve's W's OM?
this have nothing to do with Steve's OM, he asked about men who chases married women.

if he fits in the profile of what have been described in this thread is becuase many men who had this degenerated bahaviour share some personality features. but is not specifically about steve's OM (even if he asked the question to understand his own OM)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top