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What type of man chases married woman?

82K views 319 replies 84 participants last post by  aine 
#1 ·
So here's my question. Why would a beautiful woman with a family and a financially secure life date a guy who's wife claims he always try's to start relationships with married woman.

The other part is my wife for 25 years ripped into woman who had affairs, she also said men who chase married woman are the scum of the earth. But in her case where she believed she gave him the "look" it was ok to have an affair, and then even after he admitted it was he who started it, she believes that he is a better, deeper, has more soul, sweeter and kinder man than me. The scary thing is all of his friends and colleagues who know that he runs religious tours in Israel, seem to condone his affair with my wife. And those that don't he covers it up by making like he rescued her from a horrific life with me.

Ladies men who pursue married woman are sick, they have a desire to get what is not there's, they WILL CHEAT on you too eventually ....
 
#4 ·
What about the guy that convinces her to,leave her family run off with him, get divorced and then marry her!

In my case I think he thinks my STBXW, has money, will get him american citizenship and is pretty hot for 53 and the best looking woman he could ever get.
 
#5 ·
Married men chase married woman because they want a partner that has as much to lose as they do. Single men chase married woman because they are cheap dates, with little guesswork as to what to expect from the relationship. (a shorter distance to the bedroom)
What type man does it? Out of 10 guys, pick any 7 or 8 that would do it if the circumstances presented itself. And it's ego building to feel she is willing to risk everything to be with you.
When I was doing a little escorting, I believed I was providing a service. She needs someone to make her feel special and the most desirable and interesting woman in the room and I enjoyed doing that.
 
#72 ·
Insightful :iagree:

I have a single male friend that chases married women because he is broken. He was egregiously betrayed early in life and has no trust in himself or others. (the James Bond character is written this way) Bedding married women gives him all the power ... he can expose them at any time. I have spent 25 yrs trying to get him to consider IC (without success). He would never consider a relationship with any of these women because he knows from the start they are betrayers. There is safety in that knowledge from his perspective.
 
#12 ·
Steve, it hurts when you are kicked off the totem pole (if you were ever really on it).

My WS maintains that the POSE (Piece of Slithering Excrement) made her feel good. He told her what she needed to hear and then her clothes magically fell off.

He's married with two and apparently he's been at it for some time. He's got the job and the looks and she fell for it like others have - so my WS says. No excuse of course.

The thing is he's a coward. I scared the tripe out of him and he collapsed like a deck of cards - told me everything. These blokes are all cowards.

Trouble is it doesn't make it hurt any less. Let me tell you Steve I have spent nearly 12 months dealing with this, living in limbo land and doing false reconciliation. Not any more. 2014 is my year. Make 2014 your year Steve
 
#14 ·
Steve,

Your WW's POS is a pathetic excuse for a man and a human being. A total scumbag and piece of filth.

Expose him far and wide in every way possible.

Sue his employer for alienation of affection since he was the religious tour guide they assigned to your family and he's a F'ing predator.

In other words, ruin this POS in every way possible.

But the real issue for you here is your foolish WW.

Why would you ever want anything to do with such a faithless and worthless woman ever again?

Expose her useless a** right along with him. Both of your families and all of your close friends need to know what she is.

File for D immediately, and only discuss your kids and the divorce proceedings.

A woman who is that disloyal does you a favor when she finally shows you her true self.

It gives you the chance to kick their worthless a**es to the curb hard and move on to better times and people in your life.
 
#15 ·
You described a significant number of men in the Mediterranean unfortunately and yes, they are all soul-less scum. The fact that they are without souls means they will never know what they are missing out on, integrity wise, unfortunately. Is this scumbag who sells religious tours from Israel ? Is he younger ? Is he trying to get into the USA ?

You should also start up a thread on "what kind of wives ..."
 
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#18 · (Edited)
Actually I am younger then both of them. He is a couple of months younger. My wife is in incredible shape for 50+. Weight lifts I mean heavy intense weightlifting, does all the p-90X tapes etc. I am physically in the same boat.

POSOM is over weight diabetic drinks ten cups of coffee a day, eats crap, bad teeth, weird haircut, big bulbuous nose , ( my STBXW is still a head turner).
He has skinny legs, does walk a lot. Knows a lot about Israel and history and has made hundreds of contacts as a tour guide. Actually visits with all these different people when he travels. They also invite him to speak on issues in the Middle East. Claims to have been in Israeli Special Forces, injured severely almost died ( ah shucks) in Lebanese war in Early 1980's. Looks like he's 65+.

Married young to another Iraqi Jew, had one son, then got divorced and met a woman he lived with for 21 years, claims he had multiple relationships because he was never happy with her. Claims she became jealous and possessive! Had a six month affair with an American. When she broke it off went crawling and crying back to this woman.

Met my wife as I have described in my thread, she got infatuated, he went in for the kill. Split permanently with other woman, moved to his hometown lives on a kibbutz now. She does not believe any of the other stories, plus says he had therapy for his relationship addiction. Started as EA with her telling him of every fight argument etc..he began to get to her with his stories and then boom, it just blew up in my face.

I believe that compared to most women he can get she's a 10 physically, he will fight for that tooth and nail. He's also got her sold on this entire fantasy life of no pressure no worries. If they stick it out she will have been back and fourth to Israel three times this year.

Scary thing is she was always a proud Jew but so far from religious it's scary, hardly went to services, never ever had a Bat-Mitzvah, it's like she flipped a lid into this world of religion and heritage, I believe I am competing with that's more than with him. She calls this her REBIRTH ! :sleeping:

Oh I truly believe he wants to get United States Citizenship! But he also wants her to marry him and move to Israel, no regards to her two sons and their future children and families!
 
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#16 ·
It could be many reasons. Maybe the man sees the married woman as the best bet to have an affair with because it will be discreet and no crazy tie-ups like having her get all crazy about him, since she is already married to another, so, a light/casual relationship; it could be because he is emotionally unavailable; insecure, because he is in love, or because it's all he's known.

The reasons would depend on the individual man.



 
#17 ·
The reasons that players pursue married women are different from the kind of person these players are:

Reasons: married women are better bets for NSA hookups
married women can be lonely for affection
married women come with a patsy for potential pregnancy
married women carry the thrill of forbidden fruit
etc.

Kind of person: Cowardly a$$hole pretty well sums it up.
 
#19 ·
I think it all comes down to self esteem. I think just about every decision one makes in life comes down to self esteem.

There are folks out there who walk the walk and talk the talk, but inside, they're in dire need of acceptance, and love, and intimacy. In short, they need this type of thing from whomever, whenever, and it adds to their false sense of confidence.

Humans are genetically engineered to pro-create. Settling down with one mate, biologically speaking, is not easy for some. The instinct, however deep in the brain, is still there to mate with multiple partners in order to continue on your own genetic offspring.

So the act of partnering up for life is more of a construct of modern times, which we are told is what we are supposed to do. But the instinct is still there, in all of us. The difference in those of us who know better and those who don't is what creates the line in the sand. And self esteem, confidence (or a lack of it) is what pushes those people across that line. It comes down to base animal instinct vs. the human conscience, imo. Whichever is stronger will win out.

Furthermore, as in many non-human species, the act of a non-partnered male taking another males partner is quite common. Again, instinct, in order to ensure YOUR line prevails, rather than the other males.

What separates us from the animals is that we have a structured society in which there are rules (spoken and unspoken) and a code of conduct in which we are supposed to abide by.

So in essence, people who take other peoples mates are pretty much animals acting on instinct. An instinct that is slowly being bred out of our species for good reason - there is no longer a necessity to populate the planet any further, as there once was.
 
#21 ·
Well assuming she takes the bait.

A type of man who she was willing to jeopardise her marriage for.
A type of man who she was sexually attracted to.
A type of man who meant more to her than her feelings for you.
A type of man who she was willing to hurt her kids for.
A type of man who was probably laughing at you while he was enjoying your wife.
 
#22 ·
Well assuming she takes the bait.

A type of man who she was willing to jeopardise her marriage for.
BELIEVES HES HER TWIN SOUL

Recognizing The Twin Soul | Soul Love

A type of man who she was sexually attracted to.

SHE SAYS SHE KNOWS HES UGLY BUT I am to shallow to realize its not about the looks (Our MC says she wants to be the physically superior partner, the better shape I got in the further I pushed her away)

A type of man who meant more to her than her feelings for you.
SHE SAID THAT HE IS SWEET AND NEEDY AND OUR FIGHTS AND ARGUMENTS MADE HER SOUL NUMB!

A type of man who she was willing to hurt her kids
I BELIEVE SUBCONSCIOUSLY SHE BLAMES MY 15 YEAR OLD's ANXIETY AND MY 21 YEAR OLD's ENGAGEMENT AND MOVING ON FOR HER UNHAPPINESS.

A type of man who was probably laughing at you while he was enjoying your wife.AGREED HE SAW IT AS A COMPETITION AND BECAUSE MOST WOMAN LEAVE HIM HE WAS NOT GOING TO LET HER GO!!
:iagree:
 
#33 ·
My Rabbi is actually devastated. He was the one who picked this POS to be our tour guide.
He also said that I should throw my wife out for destroying my two boys memories of what was a great trip.

He also said this entire twin soul crap is a load of bunk and in the Jewish Tradition your first spouse is your Twin Soul.
 
#24 ·
Sounds like her Jewish leaning is from the House of Hillel. AN early 1st century Rabbi who basically stated that you can divorce over anything. Easy breezy. Burn the toast = grounds for divorce.

One thought. So your wife fell for a piece of scum like you describe. Personally, I would walk and just scratch my head. Your case is just another reason why cheating makes no sense. We will never figure it out.
 
#25 ·
Cuckolding another male is fun. Pure and simple. Depending on the kind of person who's doing it, the act spawns or satiates a god complex. It establishes dominance- the woman has yielded to the man of her choice, and has allowed another to usurp your territory. Pride is perhaps the most demonic of all vices. Two men may fight over the same woman, but a man who is filled with pride will steal your woman because she is yours. Centuries ago infidelity was punished by death, and those who engaged in it were either daring and powerful or very stupid.

Now, there are no consequences, at least none that would matter to one with such a rigid sense of self-preservation and self-gratification. So anyone can do it and get away with it. So they do.

People have no one to blame but themselves. This is one of the many results of abiding obviously immoral behavior such as wanton sex and movements such as humanism and feminism. At some point these destructive philosophies will crumble but until then many men are going to feel the sting of this error.
 
#38 ·
I agree with you. My wife kept saying that her POSOM, kept telling her she should leave me already.
My retort was what a real man would have done, is told her, hey I love you enough that I want to stop all communications etc until you show me proof that you have A) separated or B) divorced.
Then we can talk. ( of course it will be a cold day in hell before I ever consider or ever steal another's woman!)

But no this Pos even mailed her a burner phone.

Funny thing is she sneaking to see me behind his back.

(I am in so much pain right now it unbearable! ):(
 
#40 ·
Here is the big problem fellas. She wants an in-house separation, and my lawyer says I can't stop her at this point. I tried to be a little intrusive to get her to pull away. I asked if they were engaged. Funny thing is the first comment out of her mouth was you are the most intrusive guy I know. You know what's so freagin nuts about that EVEN WHEN WE WERE happily MARRIED 20 years ago, SHE CONSIDERED IT INTRUSIVE IF I ASKED HER WHAT TIME SHE WOULD BE HOME! Meanwhile her POSOM TEXTED HER TWENTY TIMES WHEn SHE WAS HERE ONE NIGHT WHILE I WAS AWAY( my son said he looked at her phone and there were at least twenty texts checking on her).

It's hard to not communicate, she has one of my cars and it was at the shop. I called the deal or and asked them to call me, but they called her.

Where I am freaking out is I was getting insanely jealous inside hearing her talk about her possibly staying with this dolt in a hotel until mid April before he leaves. She then said if she does not tKe her apartment she's going to have to split the bill.....with what my money!

Oh I can't cut up the accounts and cards until we meet with the attorneys tomorrow.


I am going to switch over to my other thread for updates on my saga. But feel free to reply here for those I have written.
 
#45 · (Edited)
A lot of people get off on the trill of having an affair while married, or having one with a married person. It's forbidden, not something you're supposed to do - it's exciting.

It all comes down to the women though, all they have to do is say no and lots of them don't.

Why? Because "HE MADE FEEL SPEECIALLZ" or "HE UNDERSTANDS ME!". Women fail to realize that most men don't want them. They want to enjoy banging you for 5 mins, then go on with their lives. You think they want to provide for your rugrats, or you for that matter?

But for women, it's all bout the "feelings"; never thinking about long term consequences.
 
#47 ·
Steve,

Have you seen your doctor? I think a visit is in order - anxiety meds exist for a reason and I'm thinking you have a darn good reason going on here.

Also your Rabbi - can he contact the company the POS works for and let them know this situation is not acceptable?

I don't know what kind of network Rabbi's have but maybe this company can be blacklisted by the community?
 
#51 ·
I did start taking some anxiety meds more because I was getting obsessed. The problem is after Dday2 in November when she claimed it was to dump him, my doc offered me these meds. I had taken them about six years earlier in a higher dose when my son was having issues. The problem was, the effected me where it took me a long time to orgasm, so my wife this time discouraged me from taking them. Funny thing I was the boy toy remember . Now I feel had I took them maybe she would not have left me on Dd3 in February and now it's been no sex since Feb 9.


AND NO WIFE!


Also we did send a letter to the tour company and they fired him, but recently rehired him, probably because my POSW called them on his behalf.
Funny thing is he runs Birthrite tours so young kids are looking up to this guy as a great mentor! I wonder how many of these kids come from broken homes and would respect him.
 
#48 ·
Haven't read all the threads but turn it around

If a man that chases a married woman is so bad what does that make a married woman that cheats?

If the man is single then he is a pig, if married then he is no better than she is.

So what does that make her? confused, weak, naive

I have been nicer to my Ws and willing to try to forgive because I love her but really if he is a piece of crap that I want to break into little bits well.

WS gets a kindness because of the relationship but she is no better
 
#49 ·
So here's my question. Why would a beautiful woman with a family and a financially secure life date a guy who's wife claims he always try's to start relationships with married woman.

The other part is my wife for 25 years ripped into woman who had affairs, she also said men who chase married woman are the scum of the earth. But in her case where she believed she gave him the "look" it was ok to have an affair, and then even after he admitted it was he who started it, she believes that he is a better, deeper, has more soul, sweeter and kinder man than me.
Steve:
part of your post asks not about the OM but about your wife. that's the part I'd like to take a shot at answering. Have not yet read ahead on this thread, but let's see how close I come, right off the bat:

because your wife is a hypocrite; though I'd bet it's worse than that. because your wife is, at the fundamental level, a fraud.
 
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