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suspicious behavior...

89K views 236 replies 74 participants last post by  happi_g_more2 
#1 ·
Hello all,

Recently, I have become very suspicious about my wife’s behaviour.

I would just like to know what others have done to find out if their spouse has cheated.

I’ve thought about checking her phone, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do that.

Thanks in advance.
 
#119 ·
Yes Gus just posted this but to reiterate...

If she has an iPad at home, you can turn on her iMessages on that device under Settings. If you do this, her iPhone will get a notification, so you must have the phone with you to clear that notification. And I don't think you can clear notifications if the phone is PIN protected.

Once the iPad is on You can then watch iMessages come in. You will then want to turn iMessages off just before she comes home. No notification goes out when your turn iMessages off. Delete all conversations before you turn iMessage off. This doesn't affect/delete anything off the phone, just the iPad. But delete first. Once the iMessages are turned off they will still show in the background under the login screen. No notification is sent to the phone when you turn off iMessages on the iPad.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
#124 ·
That conversation seemed very inappropriate to me. Warning bells were ringing in my ears. I acted like it didn't bother me at all. It was if she was trying to see if she would get a rise out of me.

This was a few months ago now. I should have done more to figure out what was going on then. Now I get little tid bits, every couple of weeks. Nothing like that conversation though.
 
#131 ·
I didn't have much to go on either when I discovered my H was involved with a girl from work. All I had was a comment he made to someone else in ear shot of me saying "there are two girls at work who think I hung the moon"... my radar went "ding."

and the rest is history...

wishing you the best
 
#129 ·
I once used some software that kept track of all keystrokes made on the computer on which it was installed. I would imagine some form of that software must still be around.

Tuborg, do you and your wife sometimes use the same computer. If not, would you ever have a chance to install it on her computer?
 
#145 ·
We're both going out, but it sounded like she wanted to go alone. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

I think I'm letting my emotions get the better of me. We had made plans to go this really nice restaurant she has wanted to go to for a while, so I was a little caught of guard.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
#148 · (Edited)
We're both going out, but it sounded like she wanted to go alone. Sorry, I should have made that more clear.

I think I'm letting my emotions get the better of me. We had made plans to go this really nice restaurant she has wanted to go to for a while, so I was a little caught of guard.
Whatever you do, overcome your concerns and act completely relaxed and at ease when you are out. Don't act pissed about not being alone; specifically compliment your wife on her excellent suggestion to include more people "to help you celebrate your triumph." Got it? Coolly check out other women and do most of your conversing and victory posing to the others of the party, interact equally with all other women in your party, but shut out your wife, other than to acknowledge direct comments made directly to you. Leave general comments she makes for someone else to respond to.

Who has the higher sex rank, you or your wife? Do women come on to you?
 
#146 ·
I can not emphasize enough. If you hear her start to get busy with another man STOP listening and have a trusted friend do it foryou giving a high level heads up of what happened.

Failing having a trusted friend i have done var work for about ten people here including 3sex vars providing overview or transcript. no i dont get off on it.

Tuborg. Its bad but ive seen more hopeless. Steel yourself tho. If she asks why you act funny. Tell her stomach bug.
 
#160 ·
Betrayed,
This is what she heard: I am not holding you responsible for keeping your vows. Instead I will blame the random third party you choose to bang. And after I kill him and am imprisoned you will be free to bang anyone you like.

Lame, weak and ineffective. M


QUOTE=betrayed2013;8424105]idk if that will work or not. I once told my stbxw that if she cheats again i will literally kill the guy that she does it with and at the time i really delivered it with emotion. Didnt stop her at all.[/QUOTE]
 
#168 ·
How often does she change date night?

Maybe this is stressing you out and she is feeling it. Maybe she thought a night with a stressed out husband was too much.

Hopefully you followed Mach's advice and turned on the charm. Hope you have a report of wifely jealousy to report.

If she acts jealous. Tell her the ladies asked her how you stay in such good shape, if you are a good lay, how is your marriage, etc.
 
#170 ·
So we went out Friday night, had a great time. Weekend was a blast as well.

A couple of things to mention. I got a hold of her phone, but couldn’t use Dr. Phone to retrieve any data as the phone hasn’t trusted my computer. Also, I noticed that she hasn’t used Whatsapp since last Tuesday, but… She did mention possibly going out this Tuesday with some friends. I have a funny feeling she will use the chat app again this Tuesday. Still haven’t checked the VAR, will wait till Wednesday or so.

She hasn’t mentioned the teacher at all, but I did manage to track him down on facebook. Turns out he isn’t married, but engaged.

At the time she mentioned how cool he is and how great his body is, I was a little taken aback because I have never heard talk this way about another man before. I have no problem telling her that if that type of conversation happens again, she can hit the road. For now I will do nothing, and just observe.
 
#174 ·
Unfortunately, I do not have anyone that can track her for me right now. I'm keeping this to myself for the time being. I could follow her myself, but I risk being seen, don't know how I'd talk my way out of that one.

I could hangout by the school, before the last class finishes. That would be easy for me to do without being spotted, and if she's going to meet up with the teacher then she will be there.
 
#177 · (Edited)
Unfortunately, I do not have anyone that can track her for me right now. I'm keeping this to myself for the time being. I could follow her myself, but I risk being seen, don't know how I'd talk my way out of that one.
I'm think you really need to do this. Take the risk and be careful not to get caught. Even if you do get caught, just be honest (and firm): Something didn't feel right to you and you were just checking things out. If she gives you the inevitable controlling or trust comments just say,"I'd rather be safe than sorry" in a very aloof manner. You can't show her that those statements have power over you. Don't let fear rule you; and your above statement shows that you are scared. All the 'James Bond' $hit like VARs and other devices are all well and good, but it takes too long. She could be doing the dirty deed a dozen times before you get any real info. You need to check it out yourself.
 
#175 ·
At all cost avoid risk of her getting on to you. If she does, and there is an affair, you will have much more trouble finding out what really happens than if you have devastating evidence. Also the possibility of deeper layers of keeping in contact even after confrontation and reconciliation get more probable.
 
#176 ·
VAR In the car. If you haven't checked it recently do so, and make sure the battery is OK. You know she is going out tonight.

If you need to, rent a car when you follow her. She won't recognize the car.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
#179 ·
I think I could park in a parking lot close to her work that she passes and follow her from there, but I think there is a good chance she will notice. I suspect that if there is an OM, I’m almost 100% certain it is the teacher and she would be meeting him at the school when class finishes. I think it would be better for me to park outside the school and wait.

I’ve been checking whatsapp periodically throughout the day to see if she has used it, no activity as of yet. Let’s say she does show up at the school and I see them together, should I confront on the spot? She would be caught red handed with no way of denying anything.

Also, I’m trying to find out who the teacher is engaged to, as it’s not posted on his facebook. I think it would be good to know in case something is going on, I can tell the fiancé about it.
 
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