A last update of the story...
In the last weeks i've grown up. Learned a lot about myself and about the problems of my relationship. I will write it down here, maybe it helps others too.
The problem: My wife was the first woman in my life (mistake Nr1). We got together very young with all the idealistic imaginations about relationships, life etc... We were very gentle nice and caring towards each other throughout the years. When we met she was a sweet nice girl, i was a nice boy, but 10 years passed. We were still behaving as a nice boy and a nice girl. All this is very nice, but gets boring in 10 years, especially because maybe in yourself you evolve, get more mature maybe a bit perverted (in the sense of the sexual life) getting interested in some wilder things in sex, but you don't say this to the other because come on this is the nice sweet girl. I can't tell her all those dirty thoughts i have. The same happens on the other side. Probably even harder for a woman. So our sexual life was getting more and more boring, but i thought that this is how it has to be, you know 10 years passed...
This is a bull****... Maybe i won't get excited whenever our skin is touching, but still i need to be crazy about her, and this is where the other girl comes in the picture...
So then, i met this girl, who was more like me in many senses, also showing here attraction towards me (this is an important point since i always had problems with self confidence due to the fact that i was a very (a very very) fat kid actually until the age of 17), she was interesting and new... I got confused, still having the ideal picture of relationships where you love your girlfriend/wife and should not be attracted to other woman (btw this is another bull****... ). I felt myself miserable because i was feeling somethin' towards another woman what i should feel towards my wife, but i didn't... I think that was the point i wrote the first post. You know it was the case of "i can't tell it to anybody, so i'm telling it to everybody..."
A week ago i got into a PA with this girl by getting a bit drunk (to be honest she got more drunk...) but luckily we stopped before getting too far. It was still a great experience, since i was together only with my wife up to now, i did not know whether i'm good or whether i can turn a woman really on. Now i know that i can do, and that i'm good.
After this almost PA i talked a lot with the girl, she is a very cool person, and we agreed that we find each other attractive, but that's it. It is actually a good feeling, to know this.
After some days i finally was able to tell my wife all my problems with myself with our relationship (not for the first time, this took 3-4 times 5-6 hour talking) opening more and more getting more to the root of my/our problems. I even told her the things about this girl, and she was much cooler then i ever imagined. Of course it hurts a bit but she was sort of feeling it that somethin' happened since i'm a very very bad liar. To be honest i can't lie at all. If i can't tell something i just become silent and not saying anything -> which is clear for anybody who is not as simple as a piece of wood, that by this i'm admitting what i did/thought/whatever. And my wife is a very clever woman, (to be honest i was never ever attracted to these empty headed but with first class body girls...)
Finally i reached the conclusion, that getting attracted to other woman is not a big deal, it is natural. We humans are not monogamous. I as a conscious being can decide so and keep myself to my word, but my body gets attracted towards what is attractive, and this is just good so. One should not care too much about it, rather try to enjoy this feeling, and if you get turned on by this other new and interesting person just use this feeling to make your sexual life even more exciting, and give as much pleasure as possible to your wife, and at the same time be Selfish... This is a very important in a long time relationship. If you are not selfish then with time somethings you will miss a lot and will start to feel anger towards her, and think it's her fault that you can't have what your would like to have.
BTW after i told here all my attraction to that other girl, we found out finally that we have/had too childish behavior towards each other, and even our home is a bit childish. We haven't thrown out anything but put away in boxes those things that are belonging to our past but is not belonging to a woman and a man. It turned out that she would like me to be sometimes not that nice and gentle in the bed and that she has some cool, a bit perverted desires what she never told me. Now that i know that she thinks about such things i can hardly stop to think about her continuously and imagine her in all those situations. It seems we grew up finally. (i hope so)
Oh and i did not broke all the relationship with the other girl. We are still training together maybe every now and then we even flirt, but nothing more. It's just good for my vanity, and for hers.
If i would just tried to avoid her it would not solve my problems. One must always face the problems and not running aways from them.
My advice is to never accept the fact that your relationship got cold. If you have nothing in common then give each other a chance to be happy with someone else, but if you have a past that was good, and you think that you must have a common future too then never accept the absence of desire. And yes one must become a bit perverted with time... just to make sex exciting
, and be selfish not too much, but never give up things that are important to you because with time (maybe only after 10 years) you will miss them a lot.
Wishing you all a nice day, Merry Christmas and a Happiest New Year