getting the romance back...

libra23 · 08-06-2008, 12:18 PM

Hi. I feel horrible that I thought this is the room i need to be in, but here goes. Almost a year ago now, i seperated from my husband. During the seperation, i became romatically involved with another man. My husband and I are now back together, working things out. Things are great. Except one thing. I can not get those romantic feelings back. I guess I am dealing with some guilt from 1. leaving him and 2. seeing someone else. Which makes me even more sick. I slept w/ someone else while we were split and I am the one having trouble? Everytime we have sex, I do it for him. i have no desire at all. and when we are together, it just feels weird i guess. how can i move past this? he has been so great and says its not important, but I can't go the rest of my life like this? i tell myself i deserve to not enjoy sex. that I ruined it. i just don't know what to do. to make matters worse, i have started thinking about the other man again and that is not helping me. any advice? anyone? i just want to be in love with my husband again.

Mrs. Negestie · 08-06-2008, 12:33 PM

You can not serve two masters at one time.In order to gain the romantic part of your relationship back you must first end the other relationship that you have started which sounds to me that you never ended.And bring to the relationship things that you enjoyed with the other man because somtimes splits help us to discover who we really are and that can be very good or very bad.

Amplexor · 08-06-2008, 12:55 PM

Recovering one’s love for can be difficult and is not a switch that has can be turned on and off. However you will first need to accept the relationship with TOM is over and will never start again. Once you are fully over him you may start to feel the more romantic feelings for your husband. It sounds as if your husband has accepted what happened, has let it go and has moved forward. I would suggest you try and do the same.

draconis · 08-15-2008, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amplexor

Recovering one’s love for can be difficult and is not a switch that has can be turned on and off. However you will first need to accept the relationship with TOM is over and will never start again. Once you are fully over him you may start to feel the more romantic feelings for your husband. It sounds as if your husband has accepted what happened, has let it go and has moved forward. I would suggest you try and do the same.

draconis