My Story-Would love Feedback/Advise.

paramore · 04-15-2011, 01:26 PM

LOL, let's just give this guy advice and not fight, can't we all just get along??

Workingitout · 04-15-2011, 04:55 PM

My wife has been home from rehab for almost a year. She is incredibly remorseful, guilt-ridden and horrified at her dispicable behavior. She had only been with 2 guys before me and was never promiscuous. She was always appalled at those that were unfaithful. Her behavior was completely atypical of what I had come to know over the 24 years I was with her and was largely as a result of her alcohol, drug abuse and depression. She is now completely transparent, sober, and I trust her. If she steps out, I think I would know.

Our relationship has gotten so much better since she has been home that I couldn't imagine her risking what she has now, for something else. I can see that she was dissatisfied before and while I could never believe anything justifies cheating, I can see how she could step out. Either she's the world's biggest con artist or I we are both lucky to get a second chance. Our 3 boys will appreciate our staying together as well.

Regarding the suggestion that I'm burying my head, perhaps. Will I get over it, perhaps not. Can I have a wonderful relationship in the meantime, perhaps. Will my heart be broken again? Who knows? Someone new can break it as well. I've read many stories here of people who get past their infidelity and have a successful, loving marriage. Why not me? My wife is certainly willing!

paramore · 04-15-2011, 05:29 PM

That's a pretty good attitude Working...I can only hope my husband can become willing as your wife is.

oaksthorne · 04-15-2011, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jnj express

Hey Oaks---what are you scared of the truth, and reality----

I don't have any issues I need to get over-----IF YOU READ THE OP's POSTS---, all I am doing is reacting to the FACTS

You post your opinions, I will post mine---and if you don't like it---go elsewhere

OP---I won't bother with you anymore---obviously you got your head in the sand---its your life with your wife, and you are welcome to it

As to spreading her legs as a phrase---its a lot less offensive than others i've seen here---so once again---you don't like it ---go elsewhere

Hey jnj
The truth in your case is a double edged sword. You are in fact putting your own vulgar twist on the "facts". It's not what is needed here. When I see comments that are as inappropriate as yours, I will comment on them. This forum is here I believe, to help people in this situation, not to incite them to anger, and so feed your own anger vicariously. They are already angry and hurt, they don't need you to fan that. I am pretty angry about what happened to me too, but I am here to try to see it more objectively, and in so doing try to accept it and understand it better, and to deal with it appropriately. I neither want nor do I need more salt rubbed into my wounds.

the guy · 04-15-2011, 09:54 PM

You are not alone and I am 14 month from D-day and i too am on the exact same road, except for the rehab, but I just can't shake it. I seem to be falling away ....sex is great but I find my self in old habits and kind of see W going back to hers. Last night I was way to rough in bed and can't find the will to listen to my best friend!

Has any one else working the R... hit one year plus and gotten through?

Work is picking up which is good and bad and I see us going back to the old ways and it sucks. We both don't want it but for some reason I see the 21st OM just around the corner.

Again don't feel alone... we have our reasons