Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Portland, Oregon
Re: Wife Cheated! I'm a Wreck! Need Advice & Help!
Recovery from cheating is known to be about a 2 year process-one in some cases. And this is with good healing changes which sounds like you are making. You are normal to have your PTSD reactions. They lessen over time as long as your gal will allow you to ask questions if you need to and express your hurt even if it seems old to her.
The mistake that counselors often make here is to support the betrayer's natural desire to minimize and sweep all the details under the rug. As long as you have a way to carry on this emotional check in with support from her, not attack-your healing will continue.
You can also do some things to start exercising your own personal shift from the focus on the intrusive feeling, thought, flashback etc to something here and now in the present that is a good feeling, thought, activity. It is a brain thing-we get stronger pathways etc in the brain when we rehearse that thing.
I totally understand why you would stay to repair and heal. Your relationship sounds like it is going to be stronger than ever when you are all done with your healing journey!