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On Beating Up The OM (or even the OW)

31K views 262 replies 53 participants last post by  movin on 
#1 ·
My ex had 3 bertayals that I was aware of.

The first was with a wealthy man who she chased to have a lavish lifestyle. He, literally, threw out his wife and 2 kids to move mine in. I was totally unaware. Because she was more chasing him (as I was told) I had no real thoughts of taking after him.

The second was a rebound betrayal after she was thrown out of the wealthy man's house and came crawling back begging forgiveness. That guy was simply pouncing on a weak woman. When I caught him at my house I lit into him. Not like it appears on TV (a lot of missed or blocked punches and pushing really), but I knocked him down good with a punch (I used to box) and wrestled/threw him out of the house.

The third was with some POS and she was taking off her wedding ring and told him she wasn't married. I can forgive that as he had no idea of her marriage.

But beat downs, to me, can be a right response. Not in every case, but in some.
 
#116 ·
SO if the AP was a best friends that vowed their same faithfulness to you and your friendship, would this change things??

So true it "might" (there is no definite "would" in any case unless the WS was a total sex fiend) be someone else, but that doesn't excuse the fact that the crime was committed by both. It takes two to commit adultery and they are both equally guilty of that crime. It is like saying that since your WS decided to drive the car and rob the bank, the other person who assisted in the robbery is not guilty as they were just a participant and if not them then it would be someone else. I don't think so, they are just as guilty of the crime which is adultery. They might not have committed a betrayal, but it still doesn't exonerate them of the other crimes they committed.
 
#114 ·
Maybe I'm too zen or practical but I seriously don't see the point of physically attacking the person your partner cheated on you with.

First, jail time is not attractive or appealing to me. Also, nobody is worth getting into a serious physical altercation over. And lastly, you'd think more anger would be directed at the person who cheated on you.



 
#125 ·
It's about self respect. That's why it's done. Also a betraying friend better have a very good reason in order to stick around.
 
#182 ·
It also reminds me of a quote.

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, first dig two graves."
 
#136 · (Edited)
I'm not exactly into whipping folks a$$es for the commission of infidelity, even with my rich, skanky XW. I would find it in my heart, however, to offer them my sincere, heartfelt condolences though, if they should come to acquire some nasty, itchy, scaly, dripping, rotgut social disease from playing around with her!

I just never have been a real big fan of booking stays at our local "Greybar Hilton" either!
 
#144 ·
Squeakr;9041418[B said:
]SO if the AP was a best friends that vowed their same faithfulness to you and your friendship, would this change things??[/B]

So true it "might" (there is no definite "would" in any case unless the WS was a total sex fiend) be someone else, but that doesn't excuse the fact that the crime was committed by both. It takes two to commit adultery and they are both equally guilty of that crime. It is like saying that since your WS decided to drive the car and rob the bank, the other person who assisted in the robbery is not guilty as they were just a participant and if not them then it would be someone else. I don't think so, they are just as guilty of the crime which is adultery. They might not have committed a betrayal, but it still doesn't exonerate them of the other crimes they committed.
Nope

I have had several good friends and two best friends in life and none of them have ever promised before friends, family, and god to love, honor, cherish, and forsake all others before me. Not a single one.

So if my x had an affair with one of my friends only difference would be that the friendship would be over. But wouldn't change my mind about beating them up or that 90% of the blame falls on my spouse first
 
#147 ·
I'm on the side of a good ass whooping.

First, in Canada, we are not sue happy so you might get a minor assault charge but nothing serious, you would have to have a previous record and nearly kill someone to get any jail time and since I have no record I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

As for her punishment being worse than the OM's, I think that's just dumb. Who cares if she made the vows to be faithful and not him, that matters not at all. If I buy a car it makes no vow to me but if someone tries to steal it I'm going to react. They have no right to it, even if the key worked for them and the car never said "Don't Drive Me" there is an understanding in society that stealing is wrong. Doesn't matter if it's physical property or a spouse, stealing is stealing and if your caught red handed you better expect to take what's handed to you. Should a pedophile get credit because a child willingly accepted their candy?

You can bet if I had a cheating wife she would get her due but it does not have to be measured at all against the POSOM.

Also, the worst thing that can happen to a cheater is exposure, I would wager there is a far lower percentage of cheaters who would report an assault that resulted from an affair than any other type of assault. Your chance of getting away with it is pretty great.

In My house??? on top of my wife??? I'm going to save her from the attack in progress. If she claims later that she invited him over and was a willing participant, well, I didn't know that at the time because she would have had to tell me beforehand. You can't blame me for that.
 
#148 ·
Another point I just have to bring up is that a fight between two men is a nothing deal. Happens everyday of the week.

Unless:
1. there is a non-biased witness that is willing to testify in court; or
2. the fight rises to the level of a felony (usually gross bodily harm, or a weapon used)-- not much chance of any charge being filed. Mutual combat.

On the other hand. Who really cares? If POSOM deserves it, he deserves it.
 
#151 ·
One factor to consider is how to stop it after it starts. If I wouldn't have hurt my hand I am not sure I could have stopped. I was in a tunnel vision,ears ringing blind rage. I mean I snapped no doubt about it. Before that day the I thought many times of finding him somewhere alone and the two of us have a go at it. Never did it cross my mind to do anything in public with lots of people around. It could have got ugly real quick. You read about it in the paper and wonder why did that guy snap like that.
 
#153 ·
But beat downs, to me, can be a right response. Not in every case, but in some.
In your own house, yes. A big YES. Even legal in many places.

Outside of the home, or at a later date, no. Not worth the trouble it may cause.

My opinion is that karma will get them eventually, and it doesn't have to be at the end of my fist.
 
#155 ·
I find the assumption humorous that, "I'm gonna whip the hell out of the man that cheated with my wife". I'll guarantee unless you're something well beyond the average guy, you won't go through too many OM before you get hold of one you can turn loose. The fellow you may be going after to deal him a dose of whoop azz by be a former Golden Gloves champeen who also has a black belt in Taekwondo. ;):)
 
#156 ·
Never underestimate the power of a betrayed husband. My last POSOM thought I wouldn't do anything either. He learned otherwise.
 
#158 ·
Would you beat him up if he was 6' 7" tall and built like a tank while you were 5' 8"?

Unless you are prepared to try to give the same treatment to The Hulk as you are to a 7 stone weakling then leave the guy alone physically.

There was at least one poster, can't remember his name, who walked in on OM and WW. I don't think he made any threats but he still woke up in hospital a few hours later.

What if you are a seven stone weakling? Most guys could kick your arse.

Legal avenues work the same for all guys irrespective of body size.
 
#164 ·
Sorry, been caught out by this before. Stones and pounds are a natural way of thinking of weight for me.

Stones, pounds, ounces and drams. Plus we also use hundredweight (112 pounds) for some goods, coal etc.

In America a persons weight is solely in pounds isn't it?

So you could be 12st 7lb. I have to convert pounds into stones and pounds to visualise someone's weight.
 
#168 ·
OK, so let's momentarily set aside all of discussions involving the satisfaction of a BH's honor, pride, or whatever by way of physical confrontation w/ OM... Plenty of people are perfectly happy to let the state settle such matters for them, so how about this...

You f*ck another man's wife, you lose a testicle.

I'd be willing to bet a year's salary that having such a punitive measure instituted as law would lead to a whole lot more conversations that start off w/ "You're not married, right?"

Discuss.
 
#171 ·
"On no, I'm not married" *bats eyelids appealingly*

*crosses fingers*.
 
#172 · (Edited)
Cheating spouses are the villains. They are the ones betraying their spouse. Sure the APs are pieces of crap too but ultimately if a partner cheats then that's on them. That being said, It would be dangerous to be a guy messing with my wife because I might snap (not on purpose). And I'd lose my temper quicker with a macho guy strutting around.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in protecting my marriage. A potential AP trying to hook up might get a threat and then more but once the deed is done, it's on the cheating spouse.
 
#175 ·
Cheating spouses are the villains. They are the ones betraying their spouse. Sure the APs are pieces of crap too but ultimately if a partner cheats then that's on them. That being said, It would be dangerous to be a guy messing with my wife because I might snap (not on purpose). And I'd lose quick with a macho guy strutting around.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in protecting my marriage. A potential AP trying to hook up might get a threat and then more but once the deed is done, it's on the cheating spouse.
This is a very mature and measured response, but it will do little to sate the burning rage that you'd feel upon learning that another man has been unloading into your wife's birth canal.
 
#185 ·
Rule #1 Cardio!!
 
#194 ·
And do you regain self esteem etc if OM punches you into the middle of next week? It's not the movies, you don't get an automatic win because you are the wronged party.
 
#195 ·
People that are truthful with themselves gain self respect for sticking up for themselves, win or lose, as within any violent actions there are no clear cut winners. As long as you put up your best fight and know it you can hold your head high. I have won and lost my share of fights (well no one eve really wins so I should say I have come out with the least amount of scrapes and bruises) and I can always feel that I have defended myself and have no regrets about them. I get it that lots are more passive than I and are happy with their results and actions to walk away but that is not me (sometimes I wish that could be me but alas it is not and I won't down them for their views just as I would like to not be judged for mine).

I have never been "knocked into next week" and never will. I am one of the fortunate ones out there to have studied and mastered a martial arts most of my life, have been trained in military tactics and warfare during my time of service in an elite force, been disabled in the defense of our country, and have an extremely high pain threshold that all work in my favor for this action not to occur. Will I come out unscathed? No and I don't intend to but I will not lay down and roll over for these bullies either. They desecrate my home, wife, family, and respect and I am supposed to turn the other cheek? Sorry but that is not how I operate. To those who can overlook all this, more power to you.
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