Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 11:35 AM Thread Starter
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Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

I have put my story up previously. I now have a renewed rage since I discovered my ex has been living with the "karate kid" for some months already.....don't want anything to do with her but I feel like blowing his little world apart.

Was thinking of printing this out and giving it out at his karate classes;

"Do you know “Shihan”, Mr K****n D*****ls?

Hello folks,

I thought it was appropriate that as parents of young kids attending karate classes at H*****y Karate, you were made aware of the conduct and behaviour of the “Shihan” of Highway Karate, Mr K****n D****ls.

Mr D****ls expects of your children that they should respect him, and the dojo of H****y Karate. Mr D****ls expects that all should adhere to the “five principals” (yet only four are listed as quoted below off the website) by applying them to ALL areas of their lives.

Maxims of Budo Karate-Do
Apply these FIVE PRINCIPLES of Budo Karate-Do to all areas of your life

HONOUR
DUTY
RESPECT
HUMILITY

Well folks, the man who expects this of your children does not apply these “maxims” to his own life. No, Mr D****s is a “man” who is less than honourable and who has no respect. As to whether he performs his “duty” and has “humility”, well I don’t know the answer to that.

What I CAN tell you is that Mr D****ls is a “man” who sneaks into the family home of another man to sleep with that man’s wife. He is no “man”, he is a coward!!

What I CAN tell you is that when caught by the daughter of the other man “in the act”, he became a willing participant in the cover up of the affair so that the poor child’s father was kept in the dark and continued to believe he had a loving wife. Honourable? Not so much……

What I CAN tell you is that when the other man discovered this betrayal by sheer happenstance 3 months later, and he confronted Mr D****ls, who said he was very sorry and would leave the other man’s wife alone; that he would never contact her again.

What I CAN tell you is that Mr D****ls lied about this and maintained his part in an affair which continued unabated despite the other man’s wife entering counselling and pledging to her husband to end all contact with Mr D****ls and telling the husband she loved him….

What I CAN tell you is that the other man’s daughter required therapy to deal with this trauma and Mr D****ls’ lack of respect for the sanctity of marriage has resulted in a young woman losing her mother figure.

Folks, I CAN tell you these things because I am the other man……….

This “man”, Mr D****ls, who calls upon the children in his Dojo to abide by these maxims, who requires the children who enter his Dojo to respect these principles and apply them in their lives is unable to apply them in his own life.

The H*****y Karate website goes on to say, under Dojo Rules and Etiquette, inter alia the following;

13. “Treat your Dojo with respect, it is your sanctuary.”

Well Mr D****ls, my home was MY sanctuary yet you had no respect for that………

Mr D****ls played a pivotal role in the catastrophic destruction of a family through selfish disregard, a lack of respect and he has proven through his actions that he has no honour!!!!

Is “Shihan” K***n D****ls really a good role model????

You decide………."


That out to blow his world apart and I can put his name in because it is fact, indisputable fact!

Am i just being vindictive?

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post #2 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 11:38 AM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

Write it from his perspective, not yours. Don't mention yourself in the first person at all.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #3 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:20 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

If my kid was in his class I would want to know.
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post #4 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:23 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

Why involve the children? Really.

Take it man to man. Call him out on it to his face.

Isn't that a form of loitering - your plan of handing out papers at a place of business...to a bunch of innocent kids?
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post #5 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:26 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

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Originally Posted by Wideopn Dave View Post
What I CAN tell you is that Mr D****ls is a “man” who sneaks into the family home of another man to sleep with that man’s wife. He is no “man”, he is a coward!!
I am picturing this in my head and it's like a movie.
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post #6 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:26 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

yeah out the POSOM if he did nothing wrong then he should not fear people knowing what he did.

agree with Gus regarding the changes, remember just write facts of what happened, no rumors no deductions, just what you can prove (just in case it come back to you).

One of the reasons I probably screw all my relationships in my 20's
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post #7 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:27 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

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Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
Why involve the children? Really.

Take it man to man. Call him out on it to his face.

Isn't that a form of loitering - your plan of handing out papers at a place of business...to a bunch of innocent kids?
nosenses, how outing him to himself is exposure or enforcing consequences.

he should out him to the kids parents

One of the reasons I probably screw all my relationships in my 20's
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post #8 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:27 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

Can't he be charged with harassment if he goes to a place of business to do this?
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post #9 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:28 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

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Originally Posted by movin on View Post
If my kid was in his class I would want to know.
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Yeah, ditto.

Maybe something along the lines of...

"Hi, my name is D**chey McD*ckhole and I teach karate to children.

I teach my students the five principles of blah, blah, and blah.

But there is a sixth principle that I don't mention, and that's 'Do as I say, not as I do.'

Why? Well, because I like to seduce married women. This one time, I did this, this, this, and this.

I even continued to do all of these things after her husband found out. Even after I told her husband that I'd stop. Even after she and her husband enrolled in marriage counseling, and she professed her undying love to him, and lied to him and told him and the MC that we were over.

Now their daughter -- who walked in on us -- is in therapy, and I'm still doing it.

So parents... Think twice before letting your kids spend time around me.

And husbands... Think twice before letting your wives spend time around me."

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #10 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:29 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

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nosenses, how outing him to himself is exposure or enforcing consequences.

he should out him to the kids parents
How is loitering "nonsense." He could be charged with it. As well as other things.

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post #11 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:31 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

e3He did not respect your home.

He should realize that there are consequences.

Do you have any billboards in your area near his place?

Or take out an ad in your local newspaper?

Maybe he should relocate to a different state?

Have you gotten a police permit to picket his place?

I would want my kids to know. The OM of my friends ex-wife is now in jail for sex with with a 14 year old. Really a classy guy-not.

Last edited by harrybrown; 06-10-2014 at 12:33 PM. Reason: edit
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post #12 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:32 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

And whoa... wait a minute. I thought we were talking about doing this via CV and not printing anything out.

Uhhh... yeah... printing out flyers and handing them out could get you in hot water.

If you decide to go for it, leave out any details that could tie him back to you, especially the part about your daughter walking in on them.

Just to be clear, though -- I'm not advocating this at all. I can understand wanting to put the screws to him, but don't do anything that could land you in jail.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #13 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:32 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

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Am i just being vindictive?
Not as far as I'm concerned! Oh, and by the way, it's OK to be vindictive after what you have been through. Those who tell you differently are just blowing smoke.

While you are exposing him and ruining his life, you should be doing the same and more to your EX, because she deserves it more.


"If more people were judgmental, then maybe there would be less infidelity"
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post #14 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:33 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

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If my kid was in his class I would want to know.
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I tend to agree, but also wonder how your assessment of classrooms in general applies here as well?
My WW is a teacher and destroyed my life, my children's lives and our entire family, and has also directly resulted in the demise of 3 other families all with children. None of these families were within the state we reside in or were associated with her classroom in any way, but would you still also want to know the same about your child's school teacher, even if no inappropriateness occurred within the school settings?

This is where I waiver, as I see her trying to teach morality when she herself exhibits none. She will tell my children all the time that she teaches her children that if you hurt someone whether intended or not, you must apologize. I asked her so where are our apologies. She just got up and walked out of the room. She is so hypocritical it is not even remotely funny.

Would you want to know these things in this situation as well, as part of me thinks the families have a right to know, the other says that she does deserve a life outside of school as well (even if she chooses to live it amorally)?

It is amazing how two people within the same "everything", can perceive it as completely different.

Quote from my 12 y.o. daughter: "Dad, your trust level is a lot like an eraser, the more someone makes mistakes the smaller it gets until one day there is nothing left!"
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post #15 of 111 (permalink) Old 06-10-2014, 12:36 PM
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Re: Should I out the POSOM or is it vindictive?

Dave,

I don't blame you for wanting to attempt to ruin the POSOM's business. I'd do the same if I could.

But if it were me, I'd try to look at a way that was a little more covert; a little more subtle. Some way that wouldn't shine the spot light back on myself - though some of that may be unavoidable.

Websites, consumer ratings boards, blogs, e-mails. Things like that. Just my 2 cents.
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