Re: Anyone else been told this?
pacmouse... it's funny that you should mention this. I used to be in an interesting job a few years back that allowed me to have open conversations with guys in general. I actually investigated this area for 6 years. My research showed around 90% of married men cheated on their wives. I only looked into married men and not people who were living together. My research also focused quite a bit on business men who tended to travel for work reasons.
The ones who travelled cheated with more women but on a short term basis. The ones who didn't travel cheated with less women but for a longer term. One common factor unfortunately was that once a cheater always a cheater. The guys I asked always cheated again. That is definitely a question you should have asked BIG TIME!
When I asked the boys if they felt guilty in any way over cheating their wives, their response was that if the wife didn't know about it wouldn't them.
I asked them how they would feel if the wife cheated on them, and they were all adamant that it would NEVER happen (some men are just bizarre!), but that if it did they would be very hurt by it.
I found the whole experience enlightening but, as you can imagine, disappointing. I've never been told about numbers or estimates by anyone, but my own experience is quite an eye opener.
Having said all that, it is still not an excuse to cheat! Just because 80-90% of men cheat does not mean you sould just grin and bare it - that's not the way to go. We are all attracted to other people in one form or another, but that does not mean we need to act on it each time. That would mean that we should have one night stands left, right and centre and have heterosexual, bisexual or homesexual experiences! Where does it stop? Where is the value of quality over quantity. It's all a matter of perspective and respect.
In the end I suppose, it depends on how much you can put up with. Can you put up with the thought of him/her having cheated on you? Can you put up with the thought that it 'might' happen again - then what?
Personally, I'd wait for that golden 10-30% that's round the corner, of course, even then there's no guarantee it'll be a 100% perfect relationship, but to me it's a hugely important factor. Is that element in a relationship just as important to you?