Originally Posted by shadz
i have to disagree with you when it came with emotional affair is not cheating !!! excuse me , the only one who suppose to give your emotions to is your husbend and vis versus.
cheating is not just accure if someone had complete sex with another , some times emotional affairs hurt more .
remember when someone marry another he/she suppose to give everything just for this person . don't try to justify what have done !!!
i agree with the rest.
Yes you're right but pls understand that faithful marriage won't just fall from the skies from the very first day of your wedding. The prince & the princess won't live in a happy life ever since.
It requires lots of effective communication and work.
To expect marriage itself is faithful & beautiful is a dream like fairy tale.
Marriage is not about locking a person in a jail and demanding that person to follow the rule of the games, to follow the vows of whatever ethic standards. Even professional players can be issued yellow cards. (pretty often)
It's not gonna work by judging, blaming and belittling the cheating spouse, telling what to do as if he/she's a dumb idiot. "Hey, you should feel shamed! Why did you cheat? You should do this! You shouldn't do that! How dare you hurt me like this?"
Maybe it makes you feel better but when communication & understanding are dead in the marriage, the EA will always come back.
It's a better idea if we can get to understand why your spouse cheats and investigate the problems in the marriage, and figure out how to solve them in a way that is acceptable to both the cheating spouse & the cheated.
Affairs are the results of every unhappy marriage. By the time you feel hurt after discovering the result,the damage and problem have been there in your marriage for a long time already.
Very simple example; we all know dogs are very faithful.
You refuse to feed the dog and how could you expect the dog not to search for food from other ppl? When the dog goes to find food from others, you call it, "Cheater! Bad doggie!"
Affairs = there's a need that the spouse fail to meet.
It won't make you feel good but it make sense.
Sex & love are the food of marriage. If you refuse to feed your spouse regularly, you can't expect he never gets hungry.
Not to justify cheating, but it's just a fact.