He doesn't want to delete her number because he doesn't want to risk losing all contact - he thinks if this child is his she wouldn't tell him. I don't agree... she won't leave us alone! I'm getting frustrated, I don't get why he can't cut all ties! Also, can't they give an approx. due date and also how far along she is? She won't share any of that with him. Originally she said end of June, well if they slept together end of Nov. isn't that too soon?
I have a one year old, so in my experience she's lying. First of all if she wont give you the sonogram then that's a red flag cuz in the right hand top corner it'll show the patients name. Maybe she got the picture of internet. Im gonna try to pm you my number so you can ask me some questions if you want.
Thank you tierzastarr, her name is on it with the date as well but it's the fact that he asked for dr proof mailed to him and for how far along she is and she won't say.
Step back a minute and take a deep breath. You are focusing on the girl and her "story". What strikes me is your husband and his insistence that her story is true and his "need" to stay in contact because of the baby.
Why is he so easily swayed with this girl's tale? (And you are right - it is a tale that does not make a bit of sense) Why does he want to stay in contact so bad?
I think your focus is on the wrong person and the wrong problem! Start looking at you husband's behavior - it also doesn't make sense! He seems to want this to be true a little too much in my opinion.
mary35 - that is something I have been thinking about too. He says the only thing he wants to focus on is our marriage and making things better with us, but I have not seen that. We have been together a very long time but only married almost 9 months. We always talk about kids and I said I know I am not ready yet - I feel like he is holding onto this idea that the baby is his because he wants a kid.
Let your husband know that having a baby is not all fun and games. As a SAHM as soon as my H gets home I expect him to take the baby. That means no going out for him. Sometimes the baby gets sick and is crying all night. So my H sleeps on the couch because he works in construction and he still doesnt sleep.
I feel like the drama never ends. The OW sent him a text this morning with a picture of a sonogram and a note saying "Is that good enough for you and her!!!!" He said he wanted information sent from the dr and she told him no. Now he's suddenly convinced this baby is his and she's sending him pictures every time she has an ultrasound! I know it's possible it's his and it's so hard not to think about it... I am having really mixed emotions tonight. I love him but also hate him for what he's putting me through.
What is wrong with the baby that she is having so many ultrasounds? It's typical to have one to date the pregnancy and another to check the anatomy (around 20 weeks).
Even if she's not lying (I'd bet money she is), he doesn't need to speak to her. What good is going to come of that?
I mis-spoke earlier - she told him she would send him pictures whenever she has an appointment. I don't know how to find the H or have it so that it is not traced back to me.
I mis-spoke earlier - she told him she would send him pictures whenever she has an appointment. I don't know how to find the H or have it so that it is not traced back to me.
It's fairly easy to find someone. Think about the information that you know about her. Can you google her full name, phone number, work place, etc.?
Why are you scared of them finding out that you've contacted him?
I don't know why - I've said to my H several times that I think it's terrible the OW hasn't told her H. All he says is that she's divorcing him, he's abusive, and he would hit her in the stomach if he found out. But just another thing I don't fully believe, before the affair ever even happened they were texting (stupid me, I thought they were just friends) and she had said the end of the summer she was divorcing him.
I told my H about a week ago I was considering finding the H and telling him - he got mad about that and said I would be a terrible person for doing that. I'm worried how he would react if I really do go through with it.
Your husband is angry because he is still in the affair or in the fog of the affair. Start looking after yourself , do not believe a word your husband says about the OW's husband he more than likely said things about you to her. You have her name and her number , start looking for her husband and her addresses. I assure you your husband knows where she stays. Do not be intimidated by your husband he either complies and does everything to fix the marriage or he is in affair land. His action, words and deeds will tell you.
Find the OW 's husband and let him know , do not tell your husband as he is not protecting you. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't know why - I've said to my H several times that I think it's terrible the OW hasn't told her H. All he says is that she's divorcing him, he's abusive, and he would hit her in the stomach if he found out. But just another thing I don't fully believe, before the affair ever even happened they were texting (stupid me, I thought they were just friends) and she had said the end of the summer she was divorcing him.
I told my H about a week ago I was considering finding the H and telling him - he got mad about that and said I would be a terrible person for doing that. I'm worried how he would react if I really do go through with it.
He's worried more about her than you. This woman is not truthful and he's blinded by that.
With them talking and possibly bonding over their child together, you're at risk for losing your marriage. She is manipulating your husband and you are letting her win. SHE needs consequences or her behavior will not stop.
Your husband will likely be angry at you for telling her husband. At least you're complicating their relationship. If they're allowed to go on like this I see no good coming of it.
Thank you guys, I agree - he is more worried about her feelings then mine. I am going to give him one final chance to delete her completely and change our numbers. It may take me a day or two but I will also find the courage to track her H down and fill him in. I guess this will be a true test if he really wants to work things out with me based on how he reacts.
First, I think your hubby is keeping contact cause he is thinking if he deletes all contact and the baby is his, what happens then? This is the woman's tactic of leading him on.
Second, I am a little confused on dates,but if she was five weeks, the baby would be so small. If she did send an ultrsound pic, go on the internet and see what a fetus looks like in five weeks and compare it to the picture. It should say on the ultrasound,her name and how many weeks along she is.
Third, if I were her husband, I would want to know if I might be possibly raising another man's child. The fact the she said he is abusive,then why has she stayed there all along with her other kids? When a person is in an affair, they lie about their spouse to justify their actions of having an affair. You can only be responsible for your actions. I think she said that to keep anyone from going to her hubby. Look what it has done to you,you ae doubting wether you should tell him. As far as your hubby's reaction,he is most likely concerned for the child after the lies she has fed him. You can tell the hubby what has been going on and the fat the she has mentioned he is abusive to her and if something happens to her that you and your hubby are witnesses to the abuse and since a child is involved,you would report it. A couple of things will happen if hubby is told. He might be able to tell you when his wife told him she was pregnant. He could also stop her from calling your husband. He might be abe to get you medical proof about the baby. By the way, at this stage she would have no idea if it is a boy or girl.your hubby might be furious,because of concern for the child.be prepared for this,but if it gave you some peace,I would say it would be worth it.
Get a lawyer and have him send a letter requesting information too. This will show her how serious your hubby is. More than likely her hubbywould know after this anyway. Even if your hubby has the best intentions of making your marraige work,he still will have all sorts of emotions about the child,how you two will explain it if it is his, the child's welfare while the mom is carrying it.
Finally, I found it funny she said that just because your marraige was bad, you shouldn't ruin another marraige. Hello, she is a CHEATER. Her marraige can't be doing that great either! She DOESN'T want you to say anything as she is most likely telling hubby their family is being blessed with another of HIS kids. This could be bad news for her, so she wants you to keep quite.
I am sorry you are going through this, but stand up for you and your marraige and don't let her control the situation with her lies! Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: Don't know what to do 
