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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 01-28-2011, 02:31 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't know what to do

Thank you Tamara24. The post about her being 5 weeks is not very recent anymore - the one night stand happened the end of Nov. so she would be about 9 weeks now? The picture does have her name but the left side is cut off so there is missing information. I agree with what people are saying more and more - she is saying things just to hold on to my H, i dont' know what kind of person her H is but I don't think he's abusive - mentally/emotionally maybe, which is still not ok, but I don't think
physically.

The part about "just because you're in a bad marriage doesn't give you the right to ruin someone elses," I said that to her - all she said to me was sorry which I said means nothing. I just have to find the courage to find her H and fill him in.
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Old 01-28-2011, 02:37 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't know what to do

If you google ultrasound, I wonder how many pictures you'd have to go through before you found one of her "baby." Here's what a nine week old fetus looks like, btw:

(image is clickable)
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Old 01-28-2011, 02:41 PM   #48 (permalink)
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I have the picture she sent - how do I post it?
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Old 01-28-2011, 03:15 PM   #49 (permalink)
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I feel like the drama never ends. The OW sent him a text this morning with a picture of a sonogram and a note saying "Is that good enough for you and her!!!!" He said he wanted information sent from the dr and she told him no. Now he's suddenly convinced this baby is his and she's sending him pictures every time she has an ultrasound! I know it's possible it's his and it's so hard not to think about it... I am having really mixed emotions tonight. I love him but also hate him for what he's putting me through.
Well, that's just silly. She can get a sonogram from anyone. If it doesn't come from the doctor TO him, DON'T BELIEVE IT.
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Old 01-28-2011, 03:18 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't know what to do

You really need a strong plan for the next 6 months: you have total access to his phone/computer whenever you ask, he writes that No Contact letter (I didn't see where he sent one), and both of you do some work on your marriage together with a counselor. If he's unwilling to do those things, then he is LYING to you and just found a better way to stay in touch with her.
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Old 01-28-2011, 03:42 PM   #51 (permalink)
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I understand what you're saying turnera, but the picture she sent had both her name and the date on it. I don't doubt that's she's pregnant, I just think she's farther along then she says she is so it wouldn't fit the time frame for when she slept with my H.
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Old 01-28-2011, 04:03 PM   #52 (permalink)
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No reason not to still demand that it come from the doctor.

If it doesn't, it ISN'T his child. Act on that conviction. She has to prove it.
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Old 01-28-2011, 04:10 PM   #53 (permalink)
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I feel very sad that you are going through this. My first thought is that you are being manipulated by both your H and his mistress. You need to stand up for yourself and protect your interests here. The baby that you are so concerned about is not your problem. Sorry to sound harsh, but it's the truth.

I believe your H is keeping communication open with the OW because he is still in a relationship with her - one way or another. He has feelings for her and that affair is not over. That's what I see.

You need to realize that he is lying to you. The OW is lying to you (and him). And by not looking at the facts, you are lying to yourself. Stop trying to make the facts fit the way you think they should. When you don't have all the pieces, the puzzle will never be completed.

Good luck! I'll be thinking about you!
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Old 01-28-2011, 11:40 PM   #54 (permalink)
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I personally think he never stopped cheating with her; he's just enjoying the double attention.
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Old 01-28-2011, 11:49 PM   #55 (permalink)
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I see where you're coming from by saying he never stopped, but I know there was never any other physical times (not to leave out anything they may have said to each other) because she lives several hours away and has not been back in town and he hasn't left.
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Old 01-29-2011, 12:01 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Nowadays, probably 75-85% of all affair contact takes place on phones and computers.
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Old 01-31-2011, 11:08 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Turnera is right. She need to provide proof from a doctor! Anybody can copy a pic of the internet and paste their name on it. Don't you find it strange the rest is cut off? She still would not know the sex of the baby at this point either. It usually is done at your 16 week check up to check on the baby's development.

She is stringing hubby along. The OW hubby should know and I bet he could provide the answers both of you need. The faster you tell him and send the letter from an attorney,you will find some peace. Hubby should not be talking/texting to her at all. She needs to prove by way of a doctor how far along she is before he has any contact with her. If he can't agree to that, you know the affair is not over. NO CONTACT. If and when she can prove the baby is his, then you both can decide how you want to handle it.

Personally, I think she is having fun watching both of you on this roller coaster ride.
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Old 02-02-2011, 08:40 PM   #58 (permalink)
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It's been a few days since I've been on, but my H to no contact with the OW. When we got home from work tonight he showed me that she was texting him again (we have not changed our numbers yet). She basically admitted she expected him to be with her, he told her that she will never be part of his life, even if the baby is his, she will just be "that other woman" to him. He also said he won't believe anything she says until he has dr proof and that he thought it was pretty interesting that she won't say how far along she is. She replied by saying 11w5d as of her appt last week. Then she said she has another one this week (um, what? Why so many?) He said to leave him alone and he won't believe it without proof. She brought up the ultrasound pic she sent and he asked why she cut off the info showing how far along she is. That was the end, she hasn't responded since!

My H was still pretty heated when he got home and for the first time I heard him really bad mouth her. I know he's struggling with this just as I am, and I think he's doubting her now too. I know he responded back to her, but I also thought it was a small step that he showed me the conversation.
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Old 02-02-2011, 10:09 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Default Re: Don't know what to do

Sounds very promising!

Are you looking at ways to improve your marriage? Want some ideas?
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Old 02-02-2011, 10:22 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Sounds very promising!

Are you looking at ways to improve your marriage? Want some ideas?
Please, I will take all the advice I can.
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