WhereAmI

What date was it? Her due date should be mid to late August if she conceived in November. Although, if she had her pregnancy dated by ultrasound or from her last menstrual period the dates could be off by a couple of weeks. Ask her H if he knows the due date and/or how many weeks along she is.

Pregnancy Due Date Calculator | Tools | BabyCenter

You're positive that this is her H you're talking to, and not her pretending to be him, correct?

snowy13

Nov. 20th she was here. No I'm not positive - that was the first thing that came to mind. I would not be surprised at all if it was her. I don't know how to find out if it's really him or not.

WhereAmI

If we're going by conception, the due date would be August 13th. If her due date is in August I think you should have your husband request a paternity test.

Could you have a brief phone conversation with him? This woman seems way off her rocker, so it's in your best interest to verify who you're speaking with. You planned on contacting him yourself, correct? Is he contacting you through the phone number you planned to call?

snowy13

I don't have a phone number, the only way I know to contact him is through his facebook.

paramore

do you have access to a cell number? sometimes you can do find cell numbers but you have to pay for it.

snowy13

Not that I have been able to find.

paramore

I know there is a way you can look up a name, and I believe you can gain access to their cell number/social internet contacts, I will look tomorrow for some of the sites, and I will post the link. I wonder if you could request via lawyer access to her medical records as possible father of this baby.

snowy13

Thanks

Runs like Dog

He cheats on you, bangs a girl and doesn't use any birth control? That is screwed up divided by zero. Kick both their trailer trash lives out of yours.

snowy13

I had a response from the OW's H this morning and he only answered one of my questions. So I replied with more detail and few more clarifying questions - he just responded again with a three word answer basically saying the same thing. Is it dumb that this is frustrating me - he won't respond to the information about his W constantly contacting my H. He stated twice how far along she is - well the time he gave me does not match up with when my H slept with her. Do I continue asking questions?

Therealbrighteyes

No. She needs to be out of your lives forever. She is lying and manipulating the situation.

1. She isn't pregnant and if she is, your husband isn't the father.
2. Abused women who are so afraid of their violent husbands don't go out and screw anything that moves. They all play that card in an effort to garner sympathy from a KISA.
3. A sonogram at 5 weeks doesn't happen. Hell most women don't even know they are pregnant at 5 weeks. It happens at the 4 month period. Multiple sonograms at this point doesn't happen. Multiple sonograms would happen towards the end of the pregnancy to make sure everything is okay and that is in the case of a high risk pregnancy.
4. The sex of the baby is IMPOSSIBLE to know at 5 weeks and sometimes it is difficult to surmise at 4 months if the fetus is in an odd position.
5. Of course she said it is a boy. Most men love the idea of playing "catch" with their sons. She knows this.
6. Many OW's after being tossed under the bus concoct the pregnancy lie. It's pretty textbook. She is hoping his guilt makes him leave you so she can have him.
7. He needs to stop talking to her and be a proper husband. His actions are allowing this $hitstorm to continue and furthers her manipulation of him. HIM, not YOU needs to block her on FB, cell phone, SMS, etc. HE needs to change it all. That will send a clear message to this hussy that she is no longer an innerloper in your marriage.
8. A songram picture can be faked, big time. Plenty available online and she can crop and insert her name, date, timestamp, etc. If she was in fact pregnant, she would have no problem having the doctor send the photo.
9. Of COURSE the "baby" has a heart problem. She needs him to believe this so he will stay in contact with her and not look like a jerk. She is playing in to this. Nevermind that you cannot know about organ problems at that stage. She wants him to feel sorry for her.
10. She is going to get more desperate. She wants him, badly. She will start to do other things to try and get him. Protect yourself legally with a restraining order.
11. Your husband has zero business contacting this psycho. None. She isn't his problem. He needs to have a lawyer send a no contact letter like yesterday.
12. Once she realizes that she is literally and metaphorically screwed, she will have a "miscarriage". Also textbook.

These women are a dime a dozen. The situation you have spelled out is the same I have read on countless forums. In the end it turns out they were never pregnant or the baby was not his.

Therealbrighteyes

Wanted to add that if you haven't gotten tested for STD's, do it. He had unprotected sex with a woman who has slept with multiple people. If she had unprotected sex with him, she has had it with others. Protect yourself.
He needs to be tested as well. Like yesterday.
Also wanted to add that I know you are in shock over this entire situation. Your husband's continued contact with this woman is wrong. The onus isn't on you to rid your lives of this parasite. It is on HIM and only HIM. He brought this bunny boiler into your lives and the only way you two can heal and possibly move on is for him to man the hell up and value his marriage over this piece. If he cannot, draw your line in the sand. Continued contact = what? Only you can decide that one.
Serious hugs to you. You sound lost, very understandable but you did find this website. Lots of good people here who can help you.

snowy13

Thank you Brennan - I am very lost. I love him so much and we have been together for a long time - but I can't stop thinking about it. If this child really is his how can I be expected to stay with him. He doesn't seem to understand that. He keeps saying I won't have to, I won't ever have to even see the child. But that doesn't matter! It's still part of our life whether or not I see the child or not. I never pictured my life this way - we were together 10 years before getting married and we're just now coming up on our one year anniversary - this isn't how a marriage is supposed to be!

Therealbrighteyes

Yes, you are lost but find your roadmap! Nothing and I mean nothing in this situation sounds right. She is a textbook OW and is playing him like a violin. I mean come on! She gets dumped, sudden pregnancy story, fetus is a boy, fetus has health problems, she is "abused" by her husband, sleeps with ANOTHER man during her trip, constant texts to your husband, won't have doctor send sonogram pics, random contact with your husband AGAIN, more sonograms that would not be medically necessary. She is a liar and a manipulator. Nevermind what she really is.
Your husband needs to decide if his marriage is more important or the manipulative actions of this harlot are more important.
Your roadmap is YOUR line in the sand. Follow it. Is it okay with you that he continues contact with her? Is it okay that he puts her feelings above yours? Is it okay that he lies about texting her? Why is he engaging with this nutjob, why? If she IS really pregnant then he should ignore her during the pregnancy and find out if he is the father through DNA. He has zero obligation to her until the paternity of the baby is found out. Zero.
Again, draw your line in the sand. Continued contact with her nets him moving out, locks changed, crap in a Hefty bag and a visit to a lawyer. That would be me. You sound very good natured but right now is the time to get tough. Do NOT allow this parasite to further impede on your marriage. Do NOT allow your husband to excuse his disgusting behavior under the guise of he might think this child is his. It isn't, trust me. She isn't even pregnant and if she is, the timeline doesn't fit and this is from a Mom of two kids who had very wacky pregnancies.

snowy13

The OWs H has said twice how far along she is so I asked what the due date is and he says no clue. Based on the timing she is a month too far for it to be my Hs. Am I out of line to point that out to the H? Suggest he find out who else she has been with because she's too far along.