husbands midlife crisis causing flirting w/other girls, how can i be enough for him? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-10-2011, 12:21 AM Thread Starter
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Question husbands midlife crisis causing flirting w/other girls, how can i be enough for him?

i am pretty sure my husband is going through a midlife crisis, he had one emotional affair in december that we have worked out but now theres been flirting with other girls that are his friends. i have been checking his facebook since the emotional affair and ended up finding other things. it wasnt as bad as the frist, more like he was calling them hottie and cutie pie, not too bad but still very hurtfull to me. i have since then confronted him on that too. we hve reconciled since . he now uses his phone and answers texts and checks his facebook in front of me, he started doing this on his own. i think hes trying to show that hes not doing anything like he was before. i am very happy for that but i know these things dont go away over night. i am trying to find ways to make him feel young again, make him feel like a man, make him feel like hes the best in the world. i trying to give him what he felt like he was getting from the others. i have been more affectionate and been at his beck and call. its seems to have made a big difference. i dont want to lose the process we have been making I NEED MORE IDEAS ON HOW TO BOOST A MANS CONFIDENCE?, HOW TO MAKE HIM FEEL SECURE AGAIN?, AND HOW TO KEEP THINGS EXCITING?

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-10-2011, 02:03 AM
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Re: husbands midlife crisis causing flirting w/other girls, how can i be enough for h

Kudos to you!! Very proactive approach you should be commended......

I don't have answer though confidence, self worth, contentness are all things that happen from within. My wife has been through Grad School works for a Fortune 50 company, has been to Africa giving vaccinations to villagers, to Peru feeding the homeless.......yet still struggles with self worth. I truly believe she always will.

Has your husband always done this you are just finding out about it? Or do you really think it just started?

Growing old can be hard for many. He needs to realize you and (famiy) is all he really has. He too like everyone before and everyone after will grow old and our destiny is all the same.

Stay strong communicate communicate and keep us posted!!
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-10-2011, 03:24 AM
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Re: husbands midlife crisis causing flirting w/other girls, how can i be enough for h


i guess you need to understand that there is a differant between mid life crisis and not crossing the limits with others , everymen have this crisis in some way or another , but some drag them self abovet he limits and you can't blame yourself for that , it's their fault totally unless you not doing your side , but this dosn't mean you will blame yourself , principles is the key from men side , trust and confidance from women side , sure you need to keep your eyes open , if you have a record of the msg's you have seen try to understand why he went out side ! is there a topic he couldn't find you a partner with so he seek for others or found it in some other women !!

and it's not always about sex , some men have the most sexiest ladies and still go cheating , of course it's an important topic , try to use it and try to find out what he like on it , but i don't think this is the reason for him to jump out of the wall !!

you are in the right track cuz you know what is the issue , now you looking for the way , your husbend need to stop living in denile over getting older , but you need to find the best ways , try to take couple days off and organize a run away small honey moon , new sexy cloth , and the most important thing !!!! HE NEED TO SEE !!! men like to see , women like to hear !! don't forget that ...

i will think about more new ways and keep you posted ... again you r on the right track ...
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-10-2011, 03:19 PM Thread Starter
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Re: husbands midlife crisis causing flirting w/other girls, how can i be enough for h

well i honestly think this is new to him, hes not the type to cheat. thats why when i found out, it threw me through a loop. i even called is twin brother ( he and my husband are very close) and asked if my husband was always like this and maybe i just was blind to it and he said no. he really could not belive it either. thats when my husbands bro told me thats its gotta be some sort of a midlife crisis. he also explained that because there twins they tend to go through the same things around the same time. ( and he went through his midlife crisis about a year ago) this all made since to me. i think hes looking for something that makes him feel younger, and theres two big things that make me think that
1st in one of the messages to his ex he stated " you make me feel 17 again"
and 2nd when i last cut his hair he seemed way more concerd about his hair thinning on top than he normally is.
even though there is more too just feeling young again, i think theres so many emotions going on in his head that he dosnt fully understand why hes even doing this.
thanks for the post everything helps
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 01:24 PM
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Re: husbands midlife crisis causing flirting w/other girls, how can i be enough for h

Midlife crisis are an intense emotional breakdown brought on with the advancement of age, or even just percieved aging. I am really nervous my husband will get it really bad, he has always been neurotic and anxious, at 20 he was genuinely worried when he had a gray hair and when he god a bad cold/fever he hoped it wasn't cancer... I try to prepare myself for identifying it, and getting us into counseling or saving up for a spontaneous trip to Australia (his dream land) something to bring him out of the dumps, he also has a history of depression as do i. I think the hardest part would be to get him to counseling, even though he sent me when i was depressed and he knows it works...
Purchases That Indicate A Midlife Crisis |
This is a more light hearted take on the midlife crisis. hope everything works out!
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 07:35 PM
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Re: husbands midlife crisis causing flirting w/other girls, how can i be enough for h

Originally Posted by RWB View Post
I am a 51 year old man. Us men who actually make it 50 are not complicated. We fear, period. We are at the end of our "sex" drive. We are at the end of our "earning" potential. We are at the end of our "healthy" life. We are at the end of F-in every aspect of youth.

We work for food. We have spent our entire lives paying for someone else needs. Just meet him in the middle.
Holy Crap! I wasn't even worried about this until you made this post!
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 07:36 PM
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Re: husbands midlife crisis causing flirting w/other girls, how can i be enough for h


2. Anytime he wears something nice say - "you're only allowed to wear that when you're with me because you look too damn hot to be out in that without me." - Proactively shock him with your "back off *****es" stature.

3. And don't wait for him to approach the sex topic. Proactively approach him - even when its not a convient time, just being approached - or a "put me on the books for tonigt dude" buy you a lot of 'love bank points.'

I really isn't a game - its a need of his you can help with.
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