Re: Getting Wife to Be Honest about Cheating
From my own experience I found that you 1st need to convience her you can handle it. The pain of not knowing is worse then the acts them selves. Bewarn make sure you can handle it.
By doing this I told my wife that I found it exciting ( the swinging thing), interesting ( all most adventurous) and I wanted to learn from her experiences (what guy turned her on).
See, they always want to know why you need to know, so those are some of the three things that I used. That and the simple fact that my imagination was eating me up and I needed the know the hole story so that I can get rid of those image's of circus clowns, miggets, and gangbang. Does that make sence? The vision you have in your mind is not what really went on, so she needs to clear it up with the reality of it. I personaly could not move on with out those ugly details.
The next important thing is the promises, can you make the promise not to leave her for telling, not to hold it against her when you have a fight. Can you promise that no matter what she tells you that you will be there for her and that leaving her is not the point but to get this information and put it to rest, in addition to getting it off her chest and put it truely behind her and the relationship. This is hanging in the back of your mind and you want it out in the open so as to move on with her. Can you promise that to her and still except her affair or affairs in my case.
So if you can commit to those promises now you can see if she will answer the that one question. I recommend you talk about the why you need to know and the promise's you will keep. Then let her know that you want an answer.... say the following day. This will give her time to do some soul searching and figure out exactly what and how to tell you.
I understand that alls you want is if she cheated, but that will lead to wanting to know more. So that has to be faced and discussed. With that said it will be truelly painfull to admit such an evil act.. the humilation and guilt is a hard pill to swollow. Put your self in her shoes and imagine having to fes up to a wrong that you did. A wrong so bad its mention in the bible, and there are even laws against it.
So for me I gave my wife the time she needed and excepted some of her ONS were so awful that something were not worth discussing, but on the other hand I did need to know some things that I let her be a little vage on.
It is a tough act so don't push but give a fair warning that you need to know and the consequence for her past behavior is now she has to come clean and discuss the ugly truth so that this can be brought out and be be done with, putting your mind and hers to rest.
Good luck and be careful what you wish for.