Cheating wife still talking to OM What to do? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-11-2011, 10:41 PM
morituri's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: So Cal
Posts: 4,988
Re: Cheating wife still talking to OM What to do?

Originally Posted by LostIn View Post
She stopped caring because in our relationship she was the giver and all I did was take. I was not there emotionally for her. I didn't help with the cleaning or other household stuff. I worked and provided (just like my dad). Period. I see my errors now...
Affairs can happen even in good marriages. Read the book by the late Dr Shirley Glass PhD titled 'Not Just Friends'.

Your wife had an obligation to bring the marital problems that your behavior was causing up to your attention by suggesting marital counseling. If after doing this you scoffed at her and continued being a selfish jerk of a husband then she had the obligation to file for divorce. That is how honorable people do things.

The choice to have an affair is hers and hers alone.

'I'd rather live by a dream, than live by a lie.
morituri is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-12-2011, 09:16 AM
ArmyofJuan's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Denton, TX
Posts: 833
Re: Cheating wife still talking to OM What to do?

This got my attention.
Originally Posted by LostIn View Post
Sorrysole, I don't completely agree with you, but I can see how you feel that way. If she does come back and this happens again
I'm sure I'll look at this different.
I think in 6 months to a year from now you'll think differently. If you had a friend who's wife cheated on him like yours did what advice would you give him?

Your brain is trying to rationalize staying with her just like her brain is trying to rationalize the affair. You are both too emotional to think clearly.

I get the impression that she is just biding her time until the OM's divorce is final before jumping ship and running to him. She may just try to pacify you in the mean time until she is ready. If she was stupid enough to do this it would be a guaranteed failure but don't try to stop her if she does. Some people have to learn things the hard way.

You have to take the tough love approach and have her face the consequences now. She has to be scared that she will lose you forever and get a chance to miss you. That means turning your back on her until she is beating down your door to talk to you.

You also have to develop habits that make you less of a taker. Don't tell her you are doing this, just do it and she will see for herself later.
ArmyofJuan is offline  
post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 05-12-2011, 09:40 AM
lordmayhem's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: USA All The Way
Posts: 5,175
Re: Cheating wife still talking to OM What to do?

It's been 4 months without an update. I wonder what happened? She was sitting on the fence and keeping him on as a backup in case her affair with OM goes south.
lordmayhem is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Help! Husband cheating and won't stop talking to OW! Tawanda Coping with Infidelity 30 12-31-2012 10:34 PM
Need talking with wife and MC il101 Sex in Marriage 9 10-27-2012 11:13 PM
Anything But talking about cheating.... brat30 The Ladies' Lounge 37 12-30-2011 04:51 AM
talking about sex with the wife jinx1966 The Men's Clubhouse 12 09-15-2011 08:24 AM
Talking to my Wife.. hitrockbottom General Relationship Discussion 9 06-19-2008 04:01 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome