Tell me what you think
I have been married for l8 years. I thought our marriage was perfect. He is the most kindest thoughtful man I have ever met. Our marital relationship appeared strong and active.
I discovered about six months ago that he had registered at an online adult webcam site. He came clean only after I showed him it to his face. he then promised to stop and never gets on the computer at all. He said it popped up while he was on a car site and he got curious and clicked on it then registered to get the pictures. BUT, he had one email in his box from a "girl"(probably an employee hoping to hook him to get him to join the paying subscription) that said she wanted to email him privately not on the site. I do believe I caught it at the beginning. He closed his account, closed his email address, and refuses to touch the computer now.
That gave me hope that he meant it. Then just a few weeks ago I found out that a girl from that site had texted him and sent him porn. He asked her if she would meet him at a hotel. She said yes and she would bring another gf. They exchanged more porn. He didnt know her name or anything else about her...diseases, character, etc
I confronted him and he begged me to forgive him. He didnt go meet her. He said he has a "problem" and is going to go to a therapist and he did and is. He said he loves me and doesnt want a divorce.
He even went and took a lie detector test to prove to me he has not been unfaithful physically.
It is easy to forget this happened when we are together becasue he is amazingly the most loving attentive man ever.
He constantly builds me up and kisses me etc.
I ask him why....is it mid life crisis?is it boring marital sex?is it cause ive gained some weight? why. He keeps telling me Im the perfect wife and it has nothing to do with me. Course I find that hard to believe.
He said before he ever met me when he was in the military he had alot of anonymous sex and apparently some kinky things.
He says he is going to get help. And he is in therapy for the first time in his life.
part of me wants to believe he loves me and we can get through this. Part of me says how can a peson love someone and break a vow that they know will destroy them. And then there is the lies.
I am so confused and feeling so hurt and so so confused. I want to face the truth. I saw a post where someone wrote "Respect your spouse enough to not cheat. Respect yourself enough to not cheat. Think about it this way. The man you think you are in love with has knowingly pursued another woman. What doest that say about his character? Think about what your actions say to this man. You are married, but are willing to ruin it all for a little attention and sex. Do you honestly think that nay relationship born under this type of lie and deception will actually work out in the end?"
I copied and pasted it and printed it off to read over and over to force myself to see the truth. I need someone to help me. Do I believe him or not? Im heartbroken. We have 2 children under age l6 still at home.
Help me?
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