Jaded Heart

So if you read any of my other posts you know that H has been having a EA with his brothers wife.

He told me that they stopped talking over a week ago, LIE. I asked him this morning and he said that yes he was still talking to her and that they both have feeling for each other.

I asked him so what does that mean , are you 2 going to be together . He said NO that is my brothers wife.

He had hotmail open when I walked in the room and it shut it down so I know they are talking. He said that OW told her H everything .

He also send there is no us. I told him I won't stop trying , he pretty much said don't try for me.

I pretty much lost the battle, he has feelings for another women and has long as he has those there is no way I can win him back.

So know I need to decide if I take my kids to the shelter or ask him to leave

DawnD

Ask him to leave. Thats what happens. You don't leave, you aren't the one cheating. He can leave and find somewhere else to stay. Did you verify with his brother that he knows everything happening?

Jaded Heart

No I have not talked to him at all.

I asked him to leave before, I just worry that If he does he will be with her more. BUt I guess it doesn't matter cause he is with her when he is here.

I want to ask him to leave so he can see what he is losing out on. Maybe it will open his eyes.

As of right now, I won't be doing nothing for him. Cooking, Laundry, His Bills, Paperwork anything I'm done being his doormat

Workingitout

You must ask him to leave. You will not share him with the other woman! Right now he has his cake and can eat it too! He needs to be on his own. He's start to appreciate you sooner if he doesn't have you to take care of him!

Pandakiss

i would not suggest going to a shelter. its a hard thing to do, and you will cry for the first day or so. hi i have read your threads, and im sorry, you are finding out this way, its not right what he did..

but a shelter is for abused women, and homeless women and children and single guys. if you really think its for the best, find out which shelters are in your area, and what they pandor to, my MIL walked out of her house with her 4 kids a went to a shelter, we didnt talk to much when she was there.

later she said it was ok, but i suspect she was tired of a failing marriage where a husband could care less for her and his kids. i hated shelters, and would rather sleep out side or in my car.

shelters, some cause more harm than good. its a hard situation to be in when you arent comming from rock bottom. some shelters allow you to work, but no child care. some help you get on sec8. most states closed this program.

i know you werent asking about shelters....but if you can stay in your house, stay. ask him to leave until he figures out where he is going and what to do...tell him, while he is finding himself, you will be doing the same, and he shouldnt expect you to be waiting with open arms for him forever...

sorry i didnt mean to make this so long....

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i ppen shinde miru?

Jaded Heart

Well we talked and his brother knows everything, I guess his brother called him and freaked on him cause the OW was clean with her H.

We just got back from a drive and he is done, so know I need to find a place and start with Divorce papers. I don't want to I would do anything to save my marriage but I have done to many things to him that he just can't forgive me for.

DanF

I still think that you should talk to your Brother in Law. His wife and your brother have probably not told him everything.

Do NOT move out. Give that snake the boot. Let him do the hard work getting re-established. You've done nothing wrong.

Jaded Heart

The only problem with me staying here is , this is our home but not yet on paper. H bought it from his boss, so his boss could toss me out !

DanF

That's actually better!
His boss will have to give you and eviction notice. In most states, an eviction takes place up to 30 days after formal notice is given. Do you or your husband have a lease, rent to own, or purchase contract?
You do not need a lease for a formal 30 day eviction. Once the property owner invites you to stay, you are considered a tenant whether or not you pay rent.

Jaded Heart

No we have nothing , H hasn't signed the contract yet. The deal was H would work for him for 5 years and we would then own the house.

I'm thinking H needs to be out of the home in order for him to decide what he wants. I have a feeling it won't change his mind , only way it would is cause he would miss the kids and he has never had to do things for himself. I would not ask him to leave but I don't think this pretend thing in front of the kids is worth it

DanF

Even if your husband leaves, the landlord still would have to formally evict you.
That's what he needs!
You're right. Kids absorb more than adults give them credit for.

One more thing;
Talk to your Brother in Law!!