rubyslippers

About 2 weeks ago 'something' told me to check my husbands phone and when I did I found a text 'Good Moana Mi Amor' on it (at 7:30 am ) When I asked him about it he said she was a friend - I indicated that 'friends' don't send 'friends' that kind of text message so early in the morning. This got me thinking what else might be going on so I checked his emails. I found that he had been visiting several dating sites talking very sexy to these women and just recently had invited 1 in particular to meet him at one of his groups Bike nights at wild wings. I found emails to his old girlfriends telling them he still loved them and they were beautiful and sexy. I confronted him and he said they were just friends and couldnt' understand why I was getting so upset. I finally had to show him his emails and indicated what if this was me writing these to my exs?. He doesn't think he did anything wrong because they are just friends. We have only been married 2 years and this started a couple of months after we were married. I'm so hurt and I am not sure what to do. I made an appointment with a marriage counselor, he doesn't want to go. I'm still in shock.

sweetpea

I am so sorry! Your husband does sound like he is up to something and he is minimizing his actions to you. I would keep the appointment with the marriage counselor, and go by yourself if he he wont go with you. Has he been contacting other women through out your marriage?...

Good luck, and keep posting for advice. You will probably get more replies over the weekend.

827Aug

Your husband is definitely having EA's (if not more). The fact that he has been behaving like this after only two years of marriage is a huge problem. Going to a MC is a wise choice at this point. Even if he won't go, go alone. Here's the link to another site which may be helpful at this point. AffairCare Home

Don't doubt yourself. Your husband is out of line here.

rubyslippers

Thank you for your replies. I know it probably sounds crazy but sometimes I wonder if I am over reacting but I reread the messages and I know i'm not. I guess I still can't believe people can lie so well. I am keeping my appointment with the counselor. I just can't imagine talking to any of my friends with "baby" and 'love" and beautiful etc. It's not normal.

PBear

As a guy, I don't think you're over-reacting (although based on your original post, there may be cultural differences). Really, there's no honorable reason to be on a dating website. There's no good reason to tell a girl (ex girlfriend especially) that you love them and they're sexy and beautiful.

C

rubyslippers

Thank you - what do you mean cultural differences?

rubyslippers

oh the Mi Amore. Yes he is hispanic and I realize that there is a little difference but not that big a difference. Can you imagine if I were to talk that way to my friends and I blame it on that? no way. (his ex girlfriends are white, as am I). I also know that if they were just friends 'they wouldn't be 'hiding' from me.

PBear

Rubyslippers, yes, that's what I was referring to. So there goes that excuse!

Sorry. but I think your initial response was correct. Although just as a guess, I don't think I'd limit your concern to just an emotional affair.

C