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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 02-11-2011, 08:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry online cheating

Ok so my fiancee and i are due to get married in august this year, we are also currently going through fertility treatment. We had been dating for about 7 months when i found him chatting to a woman on msn, he told me there was nothing in it and it wasnt what i thought. That he was going to her for advice. So i calmed down forgave him and apologised for not trusting him, Then i found him on a dating website where he had been having 'sexual' chat with another woman, she had asked him if he was single and he said he was, they had swapped pictures and this had been going on for a couple of months. He had also contacted at least another 5 women. And i forgave him again. Then when i thought everything was going well i find out he has been online chatting to another woman for several months. I am absoloutly devistated and heartbroken. I am confused as to why im not enough for him, I have the sexual chat with him, dress up etc so its not like he is missing out on anything while he is at home. And when he is deployed i send him pictures all the time and everything. Im at a loss as to where we go next!! When i only knew about the first 2 incidents we went to counselling and he sat there and told the counsellor that he had stopped on his own accord because he knew it was wrong and he wasnt getting anything out of it. And then i find out he was doing it again that whole time. He tells me he loves me and i mean everything to him and he doesnt know why he does this, that he thinks there is something wrong with him. I dont know what to do
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I agree; there is something wrong with him. Is he in counseling also? You may want to think twice about marrying him.
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Old 02-12-2011, 06:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Sounds like a sex addiction.
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Old 02-12-2011, 07:51 AM   #4 (permalink)
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From what it sounds like, is he just likes the thrill that these other women are giving him. The uncertainty of it all. Its new and exciting.

I dunno, how would you feel about postponing the wedding until he is all sorted out? If he is military and deploys, this means he will always have a way of being able to keep things from you. I say get him sorted out first and then decide if its worth another shot.
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Old 02-12-2011, 07:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Dont sound good going through the same thing with my wife its a addiction ,& not good
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Old 02-12-2011, 08:26 AM   #6 (permalink)
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My first thought... Cancel the fertility treatments, or at put them on hold. The last thing you need to be dealing with is a kid in the middle of all this.

Second, I'd put the wedding plans on hold as well, until you feel very comfortable that this is under control.

Finally, he's obviously looking for something else, even if he doesn't know what it is. There may not be anything "wrong" with him, but there's something that needs to be resolved.

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Old 02-12-2011, 01:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Old 02-12-2011, 02:43 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PBear View Post
My first thought... Cancel the fertility treatments, or at put them on hold. The last thing you need to be dealing with is a kid in the middle of all this.

Second, I'd put the wedding plans on hold as well, until you feel very comfortable that this is under control.

Finally, he's obviously looking for something else, even if he doesn't know what it is. There may not be anything "wrong" with him, but there's something that needs to be resolved.
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Old 02-13-2011, 11:54 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: online cheating

It does not matter if he is cheating or not. You do not trust him, so there is your answer.

The simplest explainations tend to be the most acurate.

marry someone you trust.
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