23 years ago my wife became close to a co-worker and I confronted her then and she denied any sexual relationship. I believed her. She did however say that she wished I was more like him at times. We continued to socialize with him and his wife. Nine months later when she was pregnant with our first child I came home one day and found them talking. She was in her bathrobe and he was sitting on our bed (one floor open house). They said that his wife was cheating on him and he was looking for advice. I was very upset but believed her again. We continued to socialize with this couple sporadically and eventually saw them very infrequently. He did however do some remodeling on our house eight years ago which caused an argument between us and she said I didn't trust her. Now 23 years later I had a dream about her with him and I brought the subject up again. She admitted they had a three month affair 23 years ago but she stopped it before we decided to have kids. We now have three great kids. I have now found out that they have communicated once in a while over the years by phone and he has sent her emails on her birthday and at various times. Her responses were always generic and didn't point to an ongoing relationship. However I doubt I have seen all the emails. After she told me about the affair she called him to warn him that I might call to confront him. She denied she had contacted him but I found an email asking for his cell number. She eventually admitted to calling him and made the point that she wouldn't ask for his cell number if she was involved with him. She also told me she had told him to quit calling her eight years ago after the remodel project because I was upset. She says the recent contact only started in the last year. Am I being made a fool of? Can I trust her? Can she be truthful? We have had endless disucssions where she swears she has told me everything but I can't get over her willingness to continue to communicate with this guy and her willingness to lie to me after she told me about the affair. Am I wrong. Putting this issue aside, we have had a great marriage (very loving) and she has been a great mother to our kids. I don't understand women. By the way, I have always been faithful. Because I have been so hurt and now doubt her I check her emails and phone logs (I have gone back six years and found nothing else). I hate doing it and she says I have a trust problem.