The property may be half hers, and thus you can not change the locks or physically "throw" her out, but you can pack her bags if she intends to drive to Colorado, and call her mom or sister and say: "Come pick her up. I asked her to end her affair with her online card partner and she will not, and I will not have adultery in our maritial home. Her things packed outside in the driveway. Come get them and her" If they live in other states, that's too bad. If they can't or won't come (like they disagree with her affair but just don't have the money to come) you can call a friend who would let her "crash on their couch" or you can rent a Pay By the Week hotel room, buy her a week's worth of rent, and after that she's on her own!
You can not force her bodily out of the house (or change the locks to prevent her entry), but you can pack her things, call a relative to take her away or get the room... and these things will EFFECTIVELY move her out. Then after that you can show that she left the home and make the request in the Legal Separation for "exclusive use of the marital home and primary custody of the children in their own home" because mom left the home and is living elsewhere.
She has thrown the marriage away. She insists on continuing the affair. She insists that she must meet him to see if it is just fantasy, as I have reiterated over and over. My marriage is over and I will be seeking legal separation.
My question, I met someone that is interested in me. I asked her on a date for this weekend and she enthusiastically accepted. My "wife" wants to be in Colorado with her boyfriend. I know that is probably foolish to take another woman on a date. As long as I keep my clothes on (which will definitely happen), what would the repercussions be?
If she wants to throw the marriage away, that's her choice.
And you also have a choice. Put your foot down. Be firm.
Hurting, I really don't think meeting someone else right now is the answer. You are all ove rthe place emotionally and dealing with a major blow to your marriage. If you do that, you will basically be doing what your wife is doing. Up to you but I would advise against it.
Maybe it will open her eyes to see that I won't be here waiting around forever while she continues her affair. I don't want to get into another relationship. It wouldn't work right now. Perhaps it is on some level to be spiteful to my wife. I am so empty right now that a date with someone who enjoys my company looks so very appealing. I suppose it wouldn't be fair to the other girl, either. I am struggling with what to do.
I know the right thing would be not to do it. However, my wife also knows that the right thing would be to end her affair. Why should I remain committed to someone who doesn't give a flip about me or our marriage?
Legally, ethically, & morally it is the worst thing you could do right now.
My therapist gave me some good advice a couple of years ago. When you are the victim of a cheating spouse and heading into divorce, you want to "wear a halo". You really want to appear as the victim. Although infidelity technically has no bearing in my state it can still come into play. Appearances and opinions can still sway a judge. I'm glad I listened to my therapist because the judge had no sympathy for my estranged husband. In other words, don't give your wife any ammunition to use against you.
I have some personal experience with this.....I had an EA/PA and my SO was all over the map, one minute he loved me and wanted to work it out, few hours later I was a wh*re and he hated me. I was the one pushing really hard to work it out. He ended up having an EA with some "woman" for about a month. Even went so far as to drive almost 5 hours away to see her and stayed overnight twice. Anyway, my point is, that DEFINITELY woke me up! Not advocating it by any means, I hurt him, he hurt me. He has stated he regrets doing it and apologized to me numerous times. Your head and heart are not in a good place right now. It would be unfair to bring anyone else into your life while you are so confused and upset. Be strong for you and your children.
You are all correct. I called the other girl and cancelled the date. I told her I am still married and it wouldn't be fair to her to take her out until the divorce is final. I did tell her we are separated (which is true) and that my wife has a boyfriend. However, it wouldn't be right to start dating until the marriage is officially over. I need to heal first before I consider starting another relationship.
..... "exclusive use of the marital home and primary custody of the children in their own home"
More specifically, "use and possession of the marital homeplace, primary custody of the minor child, and temporary child support" Even though she doesn't work, minimum wage can be imputed to determine a child support amount. According to the laws in your state it may be necessary to have an instanter hearing to accomplish all of this but those move quick. At the same time have your attorney file papers with the court to prevent her from doing anything with any of the marital assets. It will restrict your movements as well but as a protective measure it is in your best interest.
She responded extremely well. She said she was sorry that I am going through this. I told her that she is very beautiful and seems very nice. She respects that I decided not to date until the divorce is final. She did mention that I know where she works .
If my wife continues on her current path, divorce will be sooner rather than later. Even if she changes her tune now, it may be too far down the road for reconciliation. If divorce does come about and the date girl is still available, my decision to wait until the divorce is final will be a great start to a new relationship.
I told her that I was very flattered that she accepted my offer. She made me feel better with her enthusiastic response than I have felt in quite some time. Basically, she left me with an open invitation. That is extremely uplifting, especially since my "wife" of 13 years is more concerned about her boyfriend she still calls each night and wants to meet.
Didn't you say you only have the one vehicle? Is the car in your name? I just wonder how she plans on driving all that way and leaving you without a car and she has no income. Are you expected to finance her little trip? Posted via Mobile Device
Yes, we do only have one vehicle. Yes, she was expecting me to shell out the cash for her to rent a car to drive 18 hours one way for her rendezvous with her boyfriend. Even after I showed her it would be about $1,000 with the extra mileage fees, she still expected me to pay for it. How ridiculous is that?
If I was in the boyfriend's shoes (which I wouldn't be fooling around with a married woman), I would be offering to buy her a ticket or flying to TN myself. It's almost as if she is pursuing this more than he is.