Should I confess to an affair

disbelief · 03-21-2011, 07:37 AM

If he is military still u can use military onesource free counseling but cross refedrence to a pro marriage councillor work through this situation. U can call one source PM me if u have any specific questions.
But if u want to save it and be honest find a good pro marriage even christian coincillor to face to face help you through this. If you regret your mistake and you do not want to loose your marriage then tell him the rt way or bear the guilt and take it to your grave but commit to your marriage 1000%. Learn and do what's right.
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Jellybeans · 03-21-2011, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RWB

I "found" out about my wife's affairs. I agree tell him now. The lies were eroding our marriage day by day. You think you are safe and he will never know. Truth is the hound of Heaven. Your husband will feel the lie. He will sense your shame. I did. You say you love your husband, then give to him all of you in truth. A marriage built on lies will destroy itself.

Great post and I agree.

The cheating is bad enough but the lying to cover it up is waaaay worse, IMO.

I wish I didn't know my husband cheated, or better stated: I wish he hadn't have cheated but by the same token, I would completely loathe him if I found out on my own and he didn't tell me. I give him credit for telling me.

In my case, I also cheated and told him as well. I never imagined I would ever tell him but am glad I did. He told me he "knew" I did but wanted me to tell him myself. He could "sense" it. I think we both appreciate the fact that we told eachother and did not lie about it.

Forsaken · 03-21-2011, 10:48 AM

This is a hard situation to give advice on. I feel that your H deserves to know, though I also agree with what others have said about being a better spouse to him to make up for it and that you should not tell him.

Since I am in the military and I went through an EA with my wife I will give you my perspective. I am no longer mission effective, if I had to be deployed in the near future I would not be able to do my job as I would be emotionally compromised. All I would be able to think about the whole time I would be away is what's going on behind my back.

I am in the Army National Guard, and even during my 2-3 days a month I cannot focus on what I need to do, all I can think about is who she is texting/talking to and where is she and has anyone came over to my house since I left (I had a friend tell me that 10 minutes after I left for drill one weekend my wife phucked my roommate) so I am a wreck. I start having a lot of anxiety/panic attacks and my thoughts become uncontrollable.

I'm supposed to go out of state for 3 weeks in May for Annual Trainning, and I don't know what I'm going to do because I'm going to be a complete wreck.

With all of that in mind, you decide one what you think is best. I would personally suggest telling him but not now. Become the best wife you can be.