Should I confess to an affair - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #31 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 07:37 AM
disbelief's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,104
Re: Should I confess to an affair

If he is military still u can use military onesource free counseling but cross refedrence to a pro marriage councillor work through this situation. U can call one source PM me if u have any specific questions.
But if u want to save it and be honest find a good pro marriage even christian coincillor to face to face help you through this. If you regret your mistake and you do not want to loose your marriage then tell him the rt way or bear the guilt and take it to your grave but commit to your marriage 1000%. Learn and do what's right.
Posted via Mobile Device

disbelief is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #32 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 09:35 AM
Jellybeans's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 20,606
Re: Should I confess to an affair

Originally Posted by RWB View Post
I "found" out about my wife's affairs. I agree tell him now. The lies were eroding our marriage day by day. You think you are safe and he will never know. Truth is the hound of Heaven. Your husband will feel the lie. He will sense your shame. I did. You say you love your husband, then give to him all of you in truth. A marriage built on lies will destroy itself.
Great post and I agree.

The cheating is bad enough but the lying to cover it up is waaaay worse, IMO.

I wish I didn't know my husband cheated, or better stated: I wish he hadn't have cheated but by the same token, I would completely loathe him if I found out on my own and he didn't tell me. I give him credit for telling me.

In my case, I also cheated and told him as well. I never imagined I would ever tell him but am glad I did. He told me he "knew" I did but wanted me to tell him myself. He could "sense" it. I think we both appreciate the fact that we told eachother and did not lie about it.
Jellybeans is offline  
post #33 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-21-2011, 10:48 AM
Forsaken's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 293
Re: Should I confess to an affair

This is a hard situation to give advice on. I feel that your H deserves to know, though I also agree with what others have said about being a better spouse to him to make up for it and that you should not tell him.

Since I am in the military and I went through an EA with my wife I will give you my perspective. I am no longer mission effective, if I had to be deployed in the near future I would not be able to do my job as I would be emotionally compromised. All I would be able to think about the whole time I would be away is what's going on behind my back.

I am in the Army National Guard, and even during my 2-3 days a month I cannot focus on what I need to do, all I can think about is who she is texting/talking to and where is she and has anyone came over to my house since I left (I had a friend tell me that 10 minutes after I left for drill one weekend my wife phucked my roommate) so I am a wreck. I start having a lot of anxiety/panic attacks and my thoughts become uncontrollable.

I'm supposed to go out of state for 3 weeks in May for Annual Trainning, and I don't know what I'm going to do because I'm going to be a complete wreck.

With all of that in mind, you decide one what you think is best. I would personally suggest telling him but not now. Become the best wife you can be.
Forsaken is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Would a spouse accidentally confess to an affair during an argument? t10eml Coping with Infidelity 18 12-12-2012 05:59 AM
Wife found out about emotional affair. There is more though. Do I confess or not? FallenMan Coping with Infidelity 117 04-30-2012 09:56 PM
Forced to confess affair? Rob774 Coping with Infidelity 16 02-28-2011 02:24 PM
Why does he not confess?? cloudy Coping with Infidelity 10 03-31-2009 02:38 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome