Just curious: Has anyone ever truly regretted cheating on their spouse? I don't mean because life suddenly got hard, you know: divorce, finances, broken family, depression, mistrust and things never being the same?
Has anyone truly regretted hurting their spouse, and wishes to heaven that things could go back to the way they were, before the A?
Does anyone who has cheated regret not working things out with their spouse, rather than bolting for what they were certain was going to be a better deal, and then realized that their spouse was the best deal all along?
Just curious: Has anyone ever truly regretted cheating on their spouse? I don't mean because life suddenly got hard, you know: divorce, finances, broken family, depression, mistrust and things never being the same?
Has anyone truly regretted hurting their spouse, and wishes to heaven that things could go back to the way they were, before the A?
Does anyone who has cheated regret not working things out with their spouse, rather than bolting for what they were certain was going to be a better deal, and then realized that their spouse was the best deal all along?
That's me in a nutshell.
When I saw the look of absolute anguish and pain on my wife's face (I confessed), I wanted to die.
I wish I had never done it. I wish that we both had been able to talk about our unhappiness in our relationship and work it out without all the pain that we both caused.
However, today we are so in love. I see her and my heart skips a beat. She smiles and I melt. I have never loved her more than I do now.
We both did the absolute worst thing that we could do to each other and the memories are still painful.
However, today we are so in love. I see her and my heart skips a beat. She smiles and I melt. I have never loved her more than I do now.
We both did the absolute worst thing that we could do to each other and the memories are still painful.
Though I am the LS, I hope I can get that point again. I used to feel that way. But,That is one reason I come on here. Some of the success stories helps out, like yours.
__________________
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
Though I am the LS, I hope I can get that point again. I used to feel that way. But,That is one reason I come on here. Some of the success stories helps out, like yours.
It wasn't easy, BigWayneo.
Here's my story (condensed somewhat) Recovering From Infidelity
Feel free to ask me anything. I have followed a lot of your situation and I know it sucks, but it can get better.
It's very rare for a cheating spouse to be remorseful and regret what they have done. Part of the reason is that they just don't think they have done anything wrong. And as a loyal spouse, I think we yearn for that for closure purposes.
I've only known one person who regrets his past affairs. My friend was cheating on his wife some 25 years ago (and they divorced). They had a very young son at the time. After he was remarried and turned to God, he did go apologize to his ex and his son. What he did to them still haunts him and there are days he really has trouble dealing with his past behavior.
That's one of the things I want most--an apology. Material things really do not mean that much to me any longer, but a genuine apology would go a long way with the healing process. My divorce lawyer seem kind of baffled by what I most wanted.
F-10--there is NOT A SINGLE DAY now for a year and a half that I have not regretted my cheating. I have extreme guilt for what I did, which is totally deserved. My husband didn't deserve that at all, no matter how bad things were between us. He also cheated but hasn't really expressed remorse. And that's fine--that is his deal. There isn't a day where the feeling isn't present for me. I have apologized profusely to my husband, about 20 different times, in person, on the phone, in a letter, every which way you can imagine. Still it doesn't ease it for me and probably not for him either. I've seen a therapist, confessed, repented, the whole shebang. Still, it will never go away.
If I had a magic wand, I would erase what I did completely. Also, I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions and dont blame him for what I did at all.
There is nothing in my life I've felt more shameful & regretful of, so stupid, silly, selfish, and the list go on, for doing. Soooo not worth it. I'll never know if things would be different if I hadn't cheated or he hadn't cheated but I do know that I will forever hate myself for doing what I did and will probably never forgive myself. How could I? I used to keep a little sticker with an "A" on it near the tele to remind me of what I did. Not that the memory ever fades. I disrespected my husband, my marriage and myself. And I will have to live with that forever. Very disappointed in myself.
It's scum and worth all the pain I've caused and endured.
I guess now's a good time to confess: though I never had an affair, PA or EA, and have never been cheated on, (maybe I was cheated on, but that was over 20 yrs ago, and I was just a dumb kid at the time) I have flirted with a few women and like many who do it, felt that it was harmless fun. But the more I think about those times (over 10 years ago), I just have to ask myself; WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!
Clearly, I wasn't thinking at all. And while I did admit it to my W, and she really had no problem with it, I still look back and wish I had acted a little more maturely.
Damn, what if it had gotten out of hand? What if I was named in a harassment suit? I know I'm only human, but jeez, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!
Hmmm... I wish that I hadn't done what I did. Not because it hurt my spouse (she never found out), not because I feel horribly guilty (I don't; the relationship was over by then), but because I'm not proud of the "label" I have to give myself. A cheater. I wish I would have done things in the right sequence, so I could have left that relationship with my honor and integrity intact.
Just curious: Has anyone ever truly regretted cheating on their spouse? I don't mean because life suddenly got hard, you know: divorce, finances, broken family, depression, mistrust and things never being the same?
Has anyone truly regretted hurting their spouse, and wishes to heaven that things could go back to the way they were, before the A?
Does anyone who has cheated regret not working things out with their spouse, rather than bolting for what they were certain was going to be a better deal, and then realized that their spouse was the best deal all along?
I regret all of this,. But I mostly regret just hurting him.
I am the LS but my H has told me many times how much he regrets it. Regrets his selfish stupid choice, regrets hurting me and wishes he could take it all back. Has told me numerous times if he could turn back time and take it all back he would in a heart beat.
Has anyone ever regretted? 
. But I mostly regret just hurting him.
