"highschool sweethearts" coming to an end?

doesitmakeuhappynow · 03-22-2011, 01:16 PM

My husband and I have been together for going on ten years and we are only in our 20's with two children. We came together in the beginning due to both of our parents abusing drugs, jail, losing their homes therefor we grew up quick, got our first apartment when I was only 16, went to school, worked and had our first child then. At the same time, we ended up raising both of my siblings,who are now both eighteen and moved out. My husband is a great man, always worked to provide our family and my siblings a great life even though he was just a teen at the time also. This is why it is so hard for me to let him know how I really feel. A year ago I cheated on him with a girlfriend of mine emotionally for about nine months, physically only once. He noticed the signs of the ea before I even did and after the pa, I told him after about two weeks. I cut off contact with her and we moved away shortly afterwards but as of lately I talk to her online because she has been a lifelong friend that I don't want to lose. Even through all of this, my husband and I don't really fight, ever, we just kind of move along in life. I try but he shuts down and would rather not deal with any altercations. I have always known I am bisexual but after the affair I realized physically, I don't care to be with a man, the connection was never really there in the first place and I had never actually been attracted to a man before but fell in love with who he was inside. I think he knows this, sex has not been the same since and I turn him down most of the time, which I know I shouldn't do. I am hurting him everyday I am distant, have pitty sex, ect. I am not sure where I want to go from here, I am hurt that I am going to cause him more pain if/when I reveal this to him. I am tired of living a lie and don't want him to have to either. Financially, neither one of us can go anywhere, we had a year long lease, I am stay at home mom, he works and we are in this new town with no family. I guess I just don't know if I should reveal all of this now and deal with the reprocussions for a year or keep quite so the next year is peacefull, i am lost...

Jellybeans · 03-22-2011, 01:38 PM

If you aren't even sure you want to be with a man, you need to tell him TODAY that you are a lesbian. Dragging this out isn't the answer. It is going to create more problems by trying to cover up the main problem.

As for the "friend" - you should have cut off all contact when he asked you to.

doesitmakeuhappynow · 03-22-2011, 01:48 PM

As for my "friend", coincedentally, a family member of hers, married into my family just a few months ago, therefor she is around for family events and such, makes it more complicated than that.

Jellybeans · 03-22-2011, 03:03 PM

Yes, that would make things more complicated.

I think your husband has a right to know what is going on, Does.

Workingitout · 03-22-2011, 06:39 PM

Time to sit down and have an honest conversation with him. Way better this way than him finding out. It may be hurtful, but a relief. He can move on and find someone that he can share a life with, completely. You, on the other hand, deserve to follow your heart and be with someone that you can truly love. Goodluck.

Romeo_Holden · 09-22-2011, 12:38 PM

if you love him at all just leave him, you are abusing him emotionally and you know it. he deserves better than that, your children deserve better than that.

Almostrecovered · 09-22-2011, 12:43 PM

mmmm....6 months old

a thread aged to perfection and ripe to make a response

TRy · 09-22-2011, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doesitmakeuhappynow

At the same time, we ended up raising both of my siblings,who are now both eighteen and moved out. My husband is a great man, always worked to provide our family and my siblings a great life even though he was just a teen at the time also.

You are a stay at home mom that used your H to pay the bills to raise your siblings. Once your siblings were safely old enough to be on their own you cheated on your H and now want to leave them. You can try to package this as nicely as you want but that is what you did to him. Just because you are a L does not make the fact that you used him any more right.

You used his good nature and love for you to steal years from him that he will never get back. Do not steal any more years from him. Tell him now.

Romeo_Holden · 09-22-2011, 01:24 PM

^ ditto

Almostrecovered · 09-22-2011, 01:50 PM

helllllloooooo

this poster hasn't been on since March

Jellybeans · 09-22-2011, 02:08 PM

This thread is from March.

OH wait, AR called it...