My wife cheated last year with a friend of hers I noticed the signs and checked her phone and indeed she was. I forgave her and we are trying to rebuild we renewed our vows last feb.
However It still haunts me in many ways. The things she did with him and said to him she wont say or do for me. (like tell me how i make her feel, and things) I find my self questioning her love for me and if she really does.
It messed me up mentally It broke me, A part of me died that day. I blamed my self granted I could have been a better husband but on the other had she could have been a better wife.
I find my self walking on egg shells around her. because im afraid that she may do it again if she is un-happy. I love her more than she could ever know or want to believe. thats why I stayed to work on things. I knew it would be hard to fight the demons in my head.
the pain and heart ache is still here I have just managed to work with it. I changed for her became a different person and yet. I still don't get what I need.
Would her telling me the things she told him and doing things for me that she did for him. Change how i feel? would it take the doubt and the pain away?
I dont expect anyone to respond or read this or even care I guess it helps me in a way as i have no one to talk to about it. Maybe 15 year with the same person is to much for her?
Anyway sorry to bother anyone here. And thank you for allowing me to get things off my chest.
-M
However It still haunts me in many ways. The things she did with him and said to him she wont say or do for me. (like tell me how i make her feel, and things) I find my self questioning her love for me and if she really does.
It messed me up mentally It broke me, A part of me died that day. I blamed my self granted I could have been a better husband but on the other had she could have been a better wife.
I find my self walking on egg shells around her. because im afraid that she may do it again if she is un-happy. I love her more than she could ever know or want to believe. thats why I stayed to work on things. I knew it would be hard to fight the demons in my head.
the pain and heart ache is still here I have just managed to work with it. I changed for her became a different person and yet. I still don't get what I need.
Would her telling me the things she told him and doing things for me that she did for him. Change how i feel? would it take the doubt and the pain away?
I dont expect anyone to respond or read this or even care I guess it helps me in a way as i have no one to talk to about it. Maybe 15 year with the same person is to much for her?
Anyway sorry to bother anyone here. And thank you for allowing me to get things off my chest.
-M