after d-day stuff..

bandit.45 · 03-02-2012, 07:48 AM

Agreed. He's her puppy in a cage now.
Posted via Mobile Device

warlock07 · 03-02-2012, 08:00 AM

you should move on. How can you trust her at all even if she gets back?

elph · 03-02-2012, 08:44 AM

At this point i think getting in a new relationship is not what I can handle. However anything else would be cool.

As for trusting her. I wouldn't 100%. But that goes for all women now. But our shared history and our son work to her benefit if she's willing to do the heavy lifting if/when she wants back.

That said, the ppl she work with and who "spy" for me tell me it isn't all puppy dogs amd rainbows. He's become needy amd clingy. Always hovering around her. He's pushing alright and it's been said that she's been pushing back. As well she got transferred out of her department that she loved working in to a different department. One she's not to find of. And she knows the affair has something to do with it. I don't think their relationship is gonna last. My therapist has said as much as well as all suppored info

Oh one more thing I forgot, his soon to be ex told me about this thing be has called epididymitis. I told her about it because not only was I concerned but it could affect me. Oddly enough she didn't know he had it. She confronted him and boy did he not like it. Not to mention there was only one source. So he ended up texting his ex, who forwarded the text to me. It said please drop off kids at scheduled time, and please don't share my medical history with,,,(me). My case of epididymitis is my concern". Even tho it isn't.
My wife found out about that text. The kicker is he told her that he laid in to his ex and put her her in her place. That he "handled" it. The reality is the text was the only communication they had. So she called him out on the text, the lie and the sharing of info.
The ex got another text that said " you shared the text with ..(me). What's the point?"

He's become extremely cold to his ex, where he was trying to warm up to her a month ago. I know it doenst mean much. But now I'm in tha f'ers head. And that feels good.
Posted via Mobile Device

canttrustu · 03-02-2012, 08:44 AM

I just read this post. Im sorry Elf, she needs to go. The two of them deserve each other. Go and be happy.

elph · 03-02-2012, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bandit.45

Agreed. He's her puppy in a cage now.
Posted via Mobile Device

I'd say from what I gather he's hardly been able to keep her in a cage. From what I understand he was used to calm fights with his ex. She would just walk away when it got to a point. My wife is quit the opposite. She's all spitfire and cursing and screaming. He can't handle her like I used to. I heard a voice mail he left once months ago after one of her lambasting. He sounded like a whiney little *****. Seriously. He was pandering and trying some passive aggressive manipulation stuff. Really weak stuff. Or as my wife said. He acts like a weenie.

So different than I was. I might gotten a little beta after the birth of our son. But I was never that bad.
Posted via Mobile Device

bandit.45 · 03-02-2012, 09:29 AM

But she's moving in with him while helping you find a place to live. My isn't that nice of her.

You see how fckd up that is don't you?
Posted via Mobile Device

Almostrecovered · 03-02-2012, 09:32 AM

I don't know elph, it sure seems to me like you're still willing to wait around for her

elph · 03-02-2012, 09:33 AM

She isn't moving in with him. I'm sorry if I gave that impression

She actually has no desire to move out of the city she lives in that's where we grew up and where we want our son to grow up. From what I've learned she's been telling him no its not going to happen. As well shed know that it would limit time with her son cuz there's no way in hell I'd let him around my boy. ESP after I learned how he is with his kids.

The reference of how she's willing to help me move is one part guilt one part having a choice in where I move because she maybe thinking about where she'll move. Know what I mean. But it won't be that easy. Basically it's a sh1t test.
Posted via Mobile Device

morituri · 03-02-2012, 09:40 AM

Unless you can prove that the OM is a danger to your son, there is no way for you to legally prevent him from being around your son if your stbxw changes her mind and ultimately chooses to shack up with him.

elph · 03-02-2012, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Almostrecovered

I don't know elph, it sure seems to me like you're still willing to wait around for her

It may seem like it. But I've decided to not live in limbo anymore. If she decided to come back then there are things shell have to do. If not. Then she doesn't. Because we have a son well always have contact and its in his best interest that I act like an adult even if she isn't.

As well, and as my therapist has said, I have an opportunity for growth. I should take advantage of it. Become a better person. It can only help me. And she'll either see it or somebody else will. I'm not gonna stop something from happening with someone else. But I'm not activly seeking it either. I'm starting to enjoy some of the quiet time I have to become a better person.

At the end of the day, do I think well get back together? I'd say 75% chance. But so long as they're in contact, 0% chance. And I can't control that. Just myself. So that's what I'll worry about from here on out. The other stories. ( like the epididymitis just amuse me)
Posted via Mobile Device

elph · 03-02-2012, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morituri

Unless you can prove that the OM is a danger to your son, there is no way for you to legally prevent him from being around your son if your stbxw changes her mind and ultimately chooses to shack up with him.

Your right. But that doenst mean I have to make it easy. Her family's on the same side too. And it's her aunt (who my son loves) that babysits for us. That would disappear. And she knows it. She also knows my flexibility with the schedule would change dramatically something that's been very beneficial to my son.

Oh and there have been a few incidents where my wife has been scared when they fight that is cause for concern she's even told her friend who would be witness for me if nescassary. So I'm making sure to cover those bases just in case.
Posted via Mobile Device

snap · 03-02-2012, 09:47 AM

Don't count on her friends supporting your case.

Also, don't assign any chances that you'd get together. Proceed as if she's gone.

Almostrecovered · 03-02-2012, 10:03 AM

the fact you're even giving odds, let alone really high ones tells me you are waiting for it to happen

elph · 03-02-2012, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snap

Don't count on her friends supporting your case.

Also, don't assign any chances that you'd get together. Proceed as if she's gone.

Her friends are also my friends. As well their daughter plays with my son alot. They'll fight for what's in my sons best intrest and as well they hate the OM. He actually got into a situation at work with my friend who was a vendor for the grocery store they work at. There's no love there at all.
Posted via Mobile Device

elph · 03-02-2012, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Almostrecovered

the fact you're even giving odds, let alone really high ones tells me you are waiting for it to happen

I'm goin with the odds that ive read somewhere. I think it was not just friends by Shirley glass. As well with what I believe can happen. If she really wanted to be with him, we would've gone through the system by now.
Posted via Mobile Device