It's called ownership. Sin (infidelity) is a personal decision. Until, until an individual excepts the personal responsibility for their own actions and refutes the plurality it is still denial at the core level. My wife arrived at this junction on her own. It is a personal journey. Whether your husband ever excepts this reality for his actions is the paramount event of your marriage.
He may someday accept the personal responsibility of his wrongs but he is so arrogant that rather than try to make amends for his wrongs, he would rather walk away.
I find myself getting down and dwelling on things often. I'll ask myself "You want to get down? Is that how you want to feel today? Do you REALLY want it?" The answer is always no. I fight it off by reminding myself of what misery a bad day or night can be for me. It's my choice now. I realize that.
That is good, Casting. I am trying the same thing. Some days it is so hard though. But I am now prepared to live my life without my H. I do not want that but I know as long as he and "just a friend" are still "friends" we can have no marriage. Marriage is meant for 2, not 3. I am moving on with my life. If he chooses to catch up, then good. I can only hope though it won't be too late because someone new may be waiting for me.
That is good, Casting. I am trying the same thing. Some days it is so hard though. But I am now prepared to live my life without my H. I do not want that but I know as long as he and "just a friend" are still "friends" we can have no marriage. Marriage is meant for 2, not 3. I am moving on with my life. If he chooses to catch up, then good. I can only hope though it won't be too late because someone new may be waiting for me.
We may not be in the same boat, but we're on the same lake. She has found out what a POS OM is through this experience. Doesn't change the fact that she doesn't love me. Doesn't change the fact that I love her and want to be with her because that was what made me happy for so long.
Doesn't change the fact that I'v accepted that it's over and I need to move on. Have to move on. It sucks, but it's where I am.
There are things I look forward to. There are things that scare me and make me sad. No matter. I have to move forward.
Hurry up and get over this guy so I can ask you out, Ducky. Except for the alcoholism and the apparently extreme neediness, I'm a great guy.
You're going to be ok in your own time, lady. You really will be. Count on it.
I am sure you are a great guy casting, but please don't make hasty decisions. I am stuck in a a holding pattern like apple, I feel I owe it to myself and my children to wait it out for awhile, we shall see what the future brings. I know he loves me, he just needs to get to a place, whatever it is....limbo blows.
I am like Paramore. I'm sure there is a great future out there for me. After all, I am college educated, I am pretty, I am loyal and faithful. I am dedicated and devoted. I know that I am most guys dream girl. I'm not saying that to sound stuck on myself but I do believe most guys want a woman who will treat them like a King and I am that kind of woman. I treated my H like a king. I loved him and I cared for his needs. I did not have to. He never asked me or made do that. It was simply how I showed him love. And in return, I was cheated on. I was lied to. I was betrayed. I had my heart shattered into a million pieces. Still, this is the man who holds my heart. This is the man who I love and have such high hopes for. I know how he treats me. I know how he walks all over me. I know how he plays with my feelings. I know how he does not respect me. I know how he knows he can do what he wants because I will still be here. I know how little I mean to him. I know how mean he can get. Yet, I make excuses for him. I tell myself "it's just a phase" or "family is important" or "its for the kids" I do not know why I stay with him. I do not know why I fear so much just going and never looking back.
I know what apple looks like, she is quite the foxy lady, she is a good woman, I am a good woman, we just got lost along the way, got married young, with a baby and a half along the way, but anyway, we had no chance, we ignored the cries for help on both of our sides, I get that apple, M is the man that holds my heart. HAH, I just realized my post implied that me and apple were a couple, hahaha. I obviously meant me and my husband.
I know what apple looks like, she is quite the foxy lady, she is a good woman, I am a good woman, we just got lost along the way, got married young, with a baby and a half along the way, but anyway, we had no chance, we ignored the cries for help on both of our sides, I get that apple, M is the man that holds my heart. HAH, I just realized my post implied that me and apple were a couple, hahaha. I obviously meant me and my husband.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Did I comment on a lesbian thread? lol, I don't think I did, I did comment on a thread about eyes open during oral, pretty sure that wasn't a lesbian thread hahaha. No insult taken cb I have a good sense of humor.
I dont want to deal with the pain anymore. I want to be able to take 15 years and throw it away without a second thought like he did. I want to be able to walk away without blinking like he did. I want to be able to find myself in the arms of another like he did without feeling any regrets. I want to go about my day feeling nothing. I want to be able to get rid of these pesky morals and values that I have. What good do they do me? He has none and he seems to do just fine without them.
thing is apple you can't do that, you have to deal, just like I am, you know I got your back, you are a good woman, don't forget that. I unfortunately let my morals go to ****, but I am better now, don't forget that you are a GOOD woman, as I am. I am not a perfect woman, but I know at my core I am loyal, loving, tenacious, fiesty, etc....I guess if my hubby can't handle it, that is his problem, you are doing the best you can, again I got your back. I OWN my mistakes, he doesn't truly yet, he still feels justified, whatever...I will call ya tomorrow let me know when you are available.
I hope someday he regrets losing me. I hope someday he has to suffer with the same pain he has caused me. I hope someday he is lonely and miserable and filled full of regret, guilt and remorse. Sorry, I am venting. I am so hurt right now. I know he loves me. He still tells me that. Why cant he let go of "just of friend"! Why does he have to be her hero? He is my husband, not hers. Why is it that he's rather see our 15 years together thrown away and our family destroyed than to hurt "just a friend's" feelings?
Re: It's the kind of pain 
Re: It's the kind of pain 
