Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
She went for a walk last night. However, before she left, she gave me the battery for her phone. She said she didn't want me thinking she was calling him. It was probably dead anyway, since I've had the charger. But the act of her giving it to me so I would know she wasn't calling him seems like a good sign.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurtinginTN
I have a friend that had an emotional affair a few years ago. He was also on anti-depressants at the time. He believes that this was a factor in his not thinking clearly. He got off the anti-depressants and saw what he was doing. Luckily for him, his wife, and his marriage, he was able to go no contact immediately before it progressed to the physical level. He related this to me recently and thinks her meds may contribute to the affair. They seem to block a person's conscience.
i read this in the way that SOME suicidal people get on anti-depresants/Anti-Anxiety meds and kill themselves easier because of the lack of anxiety. MAYBE (I'm just tossing this out there...) In some people, the introduction of anti-anxiety (some anxiety is healthy) meds allow people to see past the gut feeling and guilt of an affair. It won't make them cheat but if the desire and thought is there, it removes the "Hey you idiot" response...
I know not every person who takes these meds will cheat, just like not every suicidal person will commit suicide when they start them.
Either way, TN, I feel for you and hope the best for your life with what you have had to go through.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
lol. Dead on as usual, Pit. I'm on page 6 of yours. Yes the similarity is crazy. The same advice that was given to you fits me as well. I do have one question. It seems like you mentioned 18 months of no sex. Also, about the same time frame on no drinking. Are the 2 somehow related or just coincidental?
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhereAmI
Heads up! If I cheat I'm going to use the twinkie defense. I'll keep a box ready just in case! BOOM!
Your wife started cheating because she wanted to. She continued cheating because she wanted to. End-o-story.
Have you EVER thought to yourself (no matter how minute of a thought) what it would be like to rob a bank or a jewelry store (or break ANY law for that matter)? That is the difference here. You have the GUT CHECK that tells you "Hey Stupid... Don't!"... Those meds can (and do) remove the GUT CHECK response.
Use all the humorous analogies you want to make the idea sound stupid but that doesn't change the fact that what I'm tossing out there as a POSSIBILITY isn't true.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by anon_4_now
Have you EVER thought to yourself (no matter how minute of a thought) what it would be like to rob a bank or a jewelry store (or break ANY law for that matter)? That is the difference here. You have the GUT CHECK that tells you "Hey Stupid... Don't!"... Those meds can (and do) remove the GUT CHECK response.
Use all the humorous analogies you want to make the idea sound stupid but that doesn't change the fact that what I'm tossing out there as a POSSIBILITY isn't true.
As a person on antidepressants, I can state unequivocally that this is simply not true.
The meds do not remove your "gut check" response; they do not negate your ability to discern right from wrong - provided you know the difference.
In some cases (not even most or half, just some), yes, they do cause an increase in suicidal/homicidal thoughts. However, even in these cases, the person suffering the effects still has free will with regard to acting upon them, and both the inclination/predisposition and willingness to ignore what they know to be "right" (or the utter absence of that discernment in the first place) must be present.
Antidepressants are in no way a contributing factor to cheating on one's spouse. Personal integrity is - but the meds to not affect that.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurtinginTN
lol. Dead on as usual, Pit. I'm on page 6 of yours. Yes the similarity is crazy. The same advice that was given to you fits me as well. I do have one question. It seems like you mentioned 18 months of no sex. Also, about the same time frame on no drinking. Are the 2 somehow related or just coincidental?
No. Well as it turns out yes, I guess.
She didnt intend for me to "wake up", I threw a major wrench in her plans. Guess she had to keep the sex coming to keep me docile while her master plan was playing out. Master plan: Hubby is alcoholic & emotionally neglectful. Leave hubby, get house/kid, sympathy from everyone, seemlessly insert OM.
When she realized I wasn't playing along with the plan, she got mad and changed gears. No more sexytime for Pit. Had to play the "you hurt me so bad card" (understandable shift), but plan B didnt include getting the spoils from masterplan (house/child/understanding from everyone)... So... Gaslight Hubby, waffle and cake eat... Waffled too long, Hubby stayed the course... Then hubby wakes up... The rest is well documented in the thread...
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by just_peachy
As a person on antidepressants, I can state unequivocally that this is simply not true.
The meds do not remove your "gut check" response; they do not negate your ability to discern right from wrong - provided you know the difference.
In some cases (not even most or half, just some), yes, they do cause an increase in suicidal/homicidal thoughts. However, even in these cases, the person suffering the effects still has free will with regard to acting upon them, and both the inclination/predisposition and willingness to ignore what they know to be "right" (or the utter absence of that discernment in the first place) must be present.
Antidepressants are in no way a contributing factor to cheating on one's spouse. Personal integrity is - but the meds to not affect that.
If I stated that it caused this in EVERYONE taking the meds, you would be correct to a degree. I never said that nor did I ever state they made you not know what is right and wrong. It sometimes can remove the natural anxiety that tells people to not do something they know is wrong.
So you take them... I'm glad they help you. I eat hamburger but I can't tell you how to butcher a cow. Go do your homework and learn about what you're arguing here. What I am saying is in multiple medical journals and fully supportable.
I'm gonna get out of this thread though and wish NT the best. Sorry for the unintentional thread jacking.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by anon_4_now
Have you EVER thought to yourself (no matter how minute of a thought) what it would be like to rob a bank or a jewelry store (or break ANY law for that matter)? That is the difference here. You have the GUT CHECK that tells you "Hey Stupid... Don't!"... Those meds can (and do) remove the GUT CHECK response.
Use all the humorous analogies you want to make the idea sound stupid but that doesn't change the fact that what I'm tossing out there as a POSSIBILITY isn't true.
I've seen medication do odd things to various people. However, if the ONLY "side effect" is cheating and the person in question seems to have impulse control in all other aspects of their life, they're making excuses. HTN's wife was still in control of virtually everything else. She didn't start shoplifting, abusing her children, or setting his clothes on fire because she felt hatred for him. She chose to cheat.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair 
Oh, Turnera. You're such a killjoy.
