Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathyGriffinFan
I'm sorry to state the obvious, but I just have to get this out...your wife is damn lazy!!
She stays home (and you work) but you have to clean up and vacuum and pick up after the pets?
If you two choose not to stay together, she's going to have the reality hit her like a ton of bricks...no one to help wash the dishes, no one to clean up, no one to be her lil' errand boy- except her own self.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera
If there's one thing I've noticed after following hundreds of affairs over the last 5-10 years, it's this (and note, this is not a blanket statement of all SAHMs, so no tomatoes):
Women who stay at home and who have husbands who, in addition to going to work, come home and then do HOUSEWORK/TAKING CARE OF FAMILY, are ten times more likely to cheat than those women whose husbands come home after working and expect the wife to have done it all by the time he comes home.
Why? Because those women grow to despise their husbands, even if they don't know it, for being WEAK.
And then they go out looking for a 'real' man who CAN take her breath away.
So in other words, the more a husband gives, the weaker he is. How does that make sense?
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Have you read No More Mister Nice Guy yet? There's your answer.
Psychologically speaking, men and women have DNA from caveman days. When the stronger men survived, the weak didn't. So the women picked the strong ones, to survive, too. And procreated. And their daughters wanted strong men; those who didn't and picked weak men, got eaten and didn't procreate. On and on.
Women NEED strong men. When they see you asking her if you need to fold the towels or vacuum, she dislikes you. She may THINK she likes this nice man, but she doesn't. And the more you do it, the more needy, weak, desperate, clingy, unsure you seem. And the more she CRAVES a strong man to come in and sweep her off her feet, even if he's doing the wrong thing by cheating with a married woman. Even if SHE's doing the wrong thing by cheating on her husband. If he would have only been man enough for her, she wouldn't NEED to be looking elsewhere.
All this, of course, going on subconsciously. If you told her this, she'd think you're nuts.
Have you ever looked at the romance novels so many SAHMs read? FULL of swashbuckling, strong men who TAKE what they want, and take the woman's breath away. There's a reason those books are so popular. When I worked in a bookstore and the bimonthly delivery came in, those women stood in line to get their next fix of 15 'new' stories, wishing it was happening to them.
Should you help her? Sure.
But if she's a SAHM, YOU have NO business doing laundry, vacuuming, or anything else like that. WTH does she DO all day?
Each of us needs to earn our way. If you make her life so easy that she doesn't even have to contribute her fair share to your family, you're contaminating her situation. And a lot of times, it leads to cheating.
Why do you think the men who catch their wives cheating and say 'Get the hell out of here, I'm disgusted,' get their wives back more often? Because THAT is the man she wanted in the first place. And when the coach started making moves on her, she swooned.
It SHOULD have been YOU making moves on her, but you were too busy vacuuming.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera
Have you read No More Mister Nice Guy yet?
It came in the mail today. I had looked at a few bookstores, but they didn't have it in stock. I will start reading it when I get home. She got woke up by the delivery and called me.
"You got a package."
"It must be my books."
"More books? We have tons of books around here. We better not have these books already."
"We don't. You wouldn't have bought these."
No More Mister Nice Guy and Hold Onto Your N.U.T.S.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
So what? She doesn't dress for work, she doesn't commute, she doesn't have to take an hour for lunch, she doesn't leave the house from 6am to 6pm.
She can FIT a load of laundry in every day. Geesh. I think she's got you brainwashed. Guilted you into thinking how easy your life is and how hard hers is.
I was just thinking yesterday, as I stood in my yard watering my plants due to our Texas drought, at 7pm because that's the only free time I have in the day, that if I were a SAHM, I'd have the most amazing yard in the city. Because of all that TIME. And yet my next door neighbor IS a SAHM and her yard is barren.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
We got into some of that this morning when she called about the books. She had put a bag of clothes by the front door yesterday and asked me to take it to work today. (We take the clothes the kids have outgrown to my work. There are several here with kids slightly younger than ours.) I forgot this morning. She got onto me about "How hard is it to remember to take out the bag sitting by the front door?"
Whoa, good morning to you, too sweetheart.
"Have you been brushing the cats? You said you would brush the cats every day."
"No, I have not been brushing the cats. I have been working late this past week or so because I am finally getting my head on straight. I am very behind because I haven't been worth a s___ the past few months."
"So, again, you are not keeping your word. You said you would and you haven't been."
Well, that was more than I could take. I am a liar that don't keep my word because I said I would brush her cats every day and I haven't lately. I suppose what followed would be classified as an angry outburst.
"I am up and going hours before you every morning. As I leave for work each morning, you and the kids are still sleeping. You get to wake up when you feel like it. You check out when I get home and sit on your ass playing games and drinking wine. You expect me to take care of the kids, supper, etc. while you play. Actually, you are usually playing even before I leave work, much less get home on my hour + commute. What do you think I do all day? Do you think I do this because I like it? Who am I doing this for? It certainly isn't for me only. I give, give, give, give, and what the hell do I get in return?"
She hung up that point and we haven't talked since. Well, so much for a peaceful house. It needed to be said, but probably should have been in a better setting and better tone.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
I finally talked to OM last night. I tried to call him yesterday, but he didn't answer, as usual. Surprisingly, he actually returned my call as I was driving home. He apologized and said he didn't know she was married for a long time. I believe that, since we had fought many times that she should tell him she was married if she was going to spend so much time with him. He said it was over and they had "decided to go their separate ways". He was apologetic.
Of course, the paranoia says there are several possibilities.
1. He though it was her who called using my cell phone. That is why he called back. However, he did talk to me instead of immediately hanging up when he heard it was me instead of her.
2. They are talking and he told her I had called him. They decided to try to throw me off track by him calling me back and acting apologetic.
3. They truly did end it when she said she did. They have not talked or had contact since. Since it was truly over, he felt the need to apologize.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Why can't she brush her own damn cats? When you get home today, turn off her damn comp and tell her to get off her ass and brush her cats.. geez..
Shes the one that decided to have an affair.. stop cooking for her! Stop doing her dishes.. stop doing her laundry.. stop it stop it stop it! I did, my H now has pink socks hahahaha I just make sure my kids and I are taken care of, if our spouses want to give emotions to other people that should be reserved for US, then they should feel the ramifications of it.. they should feel what its going to be like on their own!
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
One thing keeps going through my head today like a broken record. My 7 year old son the night we told them that Mommy has a boyfriend and don't know if she wants him or Daddy. "I don't want a different Daddy." Oh great, I haven't cried in days, but I feel the flood gates about to let loose thinking about him saying that.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair
Believe in the time you most certainly WILL be able to be with him.
There will NEVER be another "Daddy". Its all I have to go on. It is the only sustinance left available to me.
Re: Synopsis & Update on ongoing? emotional affair 
hahahaha I just make sure my kids and I are taken care of, if our spouses want to give emotions to other people that should be reserved for US, then they should feel the ramifications of it.. they should feel what its going to be like on their own!
