Jellybeans

HurtinginTN

I got my motorcycle license today.

I thought of something Pit had posted somewhere when we were in the class. He had told someone that their WS just couldn't go down the same road they were on. I thought about that a lot when she was struggling with the motorcycle class.

At first, I wanted to go help her. That was my first instinct. However, I realized I couldn't help her. She had to figure it out on her own. She had the same 2 competent instructors I had. She had the same instructions. She had to do it on her own. She wasn't quite able to get it in the 2 days of class. Granted, the driving test was pretty stringent. I got 15 of the allowable 20 points as well. She got 21, missing it by 1 point.

I suppose this affair is similar. She has to give it up on her own. I can't do it for her. I can't "force" her to do it. She has to do it on her own. If she can't or won't, she will be missing out on much more than a motorcycle license. Like the motorcycle class had 2 days of instruction and practice, there came a time for the test. The test was pass or fail. One shot through. One time on each of the 4 parts. No extra chances. No do-overs.

The class and practice session of this marriage has been much more than sufficient. I suppose it is time for the test. It will be strict and stringent. It will be pass or fail. If she hasn't gotten it with all of this time, the chances look extremely slim for a passing grade.

Jellybeans

And what is the test?

Congrats on your license

HurtinginTN

Still working on the details. Basically, total commitment to the marriage in word and action. No contact whatsoever with him.

Thank you. My FIL is considering selling his bike. I have been talking to him about buying it. I believe I will take it on a nice, long test drive this weekend.

Eli-Zor

As long as you take the car to work , you do not want your wife mobile
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Eli-Zor

Better still do not buy it , wait until you know what is happening with your wife.
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HurtinginTN

I have thought about that. As bad as I would love to save on gas and ride a bike to work every day, it may be better to wait.

HurtinginTN

I could ride on days she would have the kids all day. The in-laws do pick them up for music lessons one day a week. Although, if she had a vehicle, they may just tell her to take them. They enjoy it, so they would probably continue. She wouldn't be able to get away with anything with 3 kids in tow. I don't think even she is that slick. Especially if it has to do with a phone. My 9 year old wants the first affair phone. She knows I have it at work. She wants her own working cell phone, lol. I didn't know what a cell phone was until I was twice her age.

Jellybeans

Hasn't that been the plan for a year now? What is different now about the plan?

KathyGriffinFan

^I agree w/Jelly. Ain't nothin' change but the date on the calendar.

pidge70

^ I also agree. There has been 3 people in your marriage for almost a year now. She has "ended" it with him numerous times correct? Best of luck.
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lordmayhem

Yeah, that's why I'm just going to lurk on this thread only every once in a while. All that's needed to be said has already been said. Like they say, you can lead a horse to water.... If he doesn't want to help himself, than no one here can make him.

She already knows his achilles heel: the kids. So no matter how many times shes busted, no matter how many threats he makes about ending the marriage, she has her insurance policy and will continue to do what she wants. After all, what repercussions has she suffered? None. She has no incentive to end her affair, none at all. Why? Because she knows that HIT wont do anything because of the kids. Its sad really. I've read this same story over and over and over again on this site and other sites.

Good luck HIT. Can you at least admit that all the women on this site are giving you the same advice? Going back to lurking, but I really dont expect things to change with you since you are stuck in limbo.

HurtinginTN

Yes, that has certainly been my achilles heel. They are the only reason my rope has been sooooo very long. However, as everyone has pointed out, our marriage as it has been is probably worse for them than a divorce.

This time, there has been no contact yet. The proper withdrawal symptoms are present. We'll see how long it lasts.

On a good note, I did have my first solo motorcycle ride this weekend. It was awesome!

workindad

Enjoy the bike, sounds like a blast. Ride a few miles for me if you have a chance, can't afford a bike a now, but would love one.

HurtinginTN

You bet! I felt like a 16 year old kid. I don't have one, either, but my father-in-law does. I got my license on Friday and went to ask him if I could borrow his bike on Saturday. It was funny. He said I could use it anytime.

I plan to. Buying my own isn't in the immediate future, for several reasons. Riding that thing is quite exciting. I have certainly found a new hobby.