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Just a friend?

3K views 14 replies 8 participants last post by  Forsaken 
#1 ·
There are a lot of people who come here and talk about everything their spouse has done and say things about how it was a friend and they are not sure if they should make a deal out of it because it's a friend, or the spouse says its just a friend nothing else.

Well if you haven't figured it out yet the person is not "just a friend". A real friend wouldn't do these things to you, and a real friend wouldn't put you in the position to make your spouse think that you are cheating on them with the "friend".

Biz Markie says it best:

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
'Cause I have friends and that's a fact
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq
Forget about that, let's go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin', getttin' familiar
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build a
A relationship or some understanding
How it's gonna be in the future we was plannin'
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin'
Everytime that I called her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
I called her room, a guy picked up, and then I called again
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"
Don't gimme that, don't even gimme that
Jus' bust this

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I came to her college on a surprise visit
To see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day, I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year
I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitor's form
He told me where it was and I as on my way
To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
I arrrived in front of the dormitory
Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
They showed me where it was for the moment
I didn't know I was in for such an event
So I came to her room and opened the door
Oh, snap! Guess what I saw?
A fella tongue-kissin' my girl in the mouth,
I was so in shock my heart went down south
So please listen to the message that I send
Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend
 
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#4 ·
Like I said to my wife when this sh!t all came up, no one invests that much time and effort with a friend of the opposite sex unless they see something in it for themselves. Also when your sitting there talking to a "friend" of the opposite sex about your marriage problems it says to them that your looking for a way out and they see it as their way in.
 
#8 ·
Wow, that's all exactly true. I should copy and paste it in an email to my H about his "special friend". So flipping obvious. Barf.
 
#10 ·
I won't. I'm taking your advice on the 48 hour thing. Especially after yesterday's slip up. ;)
 
#11 ·
I was talking to a friendly business associate last week about our kids. He offered me a bit of advice about how to deal with my 10 year old. I responded that it might work on my husband, and suddenly we were talking about problems in our marriage. I thought to myself, "So this is how it happens!" I backed out of this dangerous territory and haven't spoken with him since. Still, I realize how easy it would be to have a "friend" to share intimate information with, and how quickly things could escalate. Very eye-opening since I am NOT the WS in my relationship.
 
#12 ·
You aren't the WS and that is why. You recognized that this was shady territory and not for the weak so you turned the other way. That's the difference between a WS and a LS.
 
#13 ·
yep my H is still saying that the OW is "just a friend, whats the big deal? you have friends that are male and I don't complain"

Yes. I do. But those men are also HIS friends, and they are all Married or with women, and when I see these men it is in a group setting with their significant others. I don't talk to them about my personal life, I don't spend hours talking on the phone with them, and I don't refuse to remove them from my phone if asked!
 
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