I never have or ever will get the full truth from my husband. I knew about his PA but it wasn't until a month later I found all the sex sites he was registered under. When I confronted him, the only comment I got out of him was something to the effect of "You weren't horny when you were on antidepressants and it's tough for a guy to meet girls online"
No apology, no nothing. It was like "Ok you found out? So what?" kind of attitude
Wow...you think you know someone so well for so long and they turn around and show a side of themselves that you never saw coming! I feel such a disconnect from him after learning that our boundaries are so different and what he considers a "joke" I consider cheating!
put youself in the cheaters place for a minute, imagine you with a new exciting lover, how would you feel emotionaly? what little things might you say in a passionate time?? what things would you try that you really dont want to with your good old familiar spouse??? NOW say that you get caught, what would you tell?? NOT ALL THOSE LITTLE SWEET THINGS! NO WAY!! you would say what??.....think about it.
do they all promise that they love you...and only you..and it didn't mean anything...and they didn't want to hurt you...and it will never happen again...?
Yes. My H said this word for word except the "It will never happen again" and apologizing.
Anony...have you considered getting some individual counselling?
Bird, you make a really good point about why the whole truth never comes out. It seems to me that he does not understand what his lies have done to my psyche and our relationship. Do they ever understand? Or at least not until someone does it to them?
Bird, you make a really good point about why the whole truth never comes out. It seems to me that he does not understand what his lies have done to my psyche and our relationship. Do they ever understand? Or at least not until someone does it to them?
they can if they want to, they have to educate themselves so they know your "crazy" questions ETC. are NORMAL and not just you asking for the wrong info that the cheater very well might think would just hurt you more. and your right He really does not understand the pure agony your in. tell him HE CAUSED THIS so it is his responceabilty to learn what you need to heal, I found good articals online for my wife to read, it helped her and in turn is helping me, I am still devistated and no where over it but I will be. Should You Tell Your Partner About Your Affair? | About Affairs
This rings very true with my situation. Same explanations, same words, similar time frame for the truth to come out. How did you get him to finally confess after 10 months? It has taken me 7 months of pressure and manipulation and becoming the kind of woman I never thought I would be to even get some of the truth...
There are some very good articles online about what a cheater should do if they want to save their relationship. I printed them and he read them. The very first instruction was to "stop lying". He mulled it over and I kept saying that I "felt " that he had not told me the whole truth. I pointed out to him that whatever his relationship was with the OW , the time had been stolen from me, and I wanted it back. I told him that she has no right to have any secrets from me, and he was allowing her to have them. I told him that as long as he seemed to protect her privacy, I did not accept that he was being loyal to me. I went away for a few days and when I came back he said he was ready to level with me.
No, it appears that they never tell the whole truth, even if confronted with evidence and their story is punched with enough holes for a cruise ship to glide through.
Just yesterday, I found part of a chat archive from last Friday between my wife and the OM that she had a one-time (or so I know about for 100% certainty) PA with last June. I was out of town for work. In the chat, he mentioned that he has "always" enjoyed himself when they've had sex. She said that's good to hear, because he's not very vocal so she can "never" tell that he's enjoying himself, to which he replied that they havent had anyplace where he can be vocal. They agreed to meet...location, his choice. He suggested they meet atthe school "again," unless she'd found a new dark corner. The school in question being around the corner from our house, but he lives far away. Yet he only needed a street name reminder for how to get there.
When faced with this, she claims that she didn't meet him Friday, that they had sex only the one time I know about for sure, he knows the school from taking pictures there for his photography side gig (keep in mind, HE picked the school to meet at, and it was never mentioned by name), and that the implication of multiple meetings that the chat's language gives was just a "poor choice of words."
When discussed in MC this morning, the counselor even said her story doesn't add up, at which point, my wife added more details that made her even harder to believe. He overheard her say she'd cancelled the "girls' night" she planned because no one could come, so decided to contact her for a hookup. When I questioned how he could have gotten her yahoo ID, which is new, when she's not supposed to be communicating with him, she said he must have gotten it from her Facebook page...until I reminded her that he's been blocked from viewing her page since last summer, when I found out about the PA.
So, yeah...I wouldn't hold my breath expecting the full truth. You'll just pass out from lack of oxygen.
At which point, they'll probably take the opportunity to cheat again. Posted via Mobile Device
ok, sounds like they will for sure, keep your camcorder handy! when she is out check the school! you know cells can be tracked!! come up with some guys nights out type of deal and wait around the school. you'll catch them if your vigilant!
15Likes
Re: Do They Ever Tell the WHOLE Truth? 
