Okay this is going to be lengthy but I have to get it off my chest. My fiancee and I are to be wed in October. We have been together for just over a year. We met through craigslist when I was relocated last year. She was everything I thought I wanted. She had exaggerated about her personality but she was so unbelieveably gorgeous I overlooked the small indiscrepancies. We relocated together right after I proposed to her (6mos after we met). Things have been great, she frequently had bouts of depression but our relationship is still new so I dont pretend to know everything about her.
She had constantly been getting messages on facebook from her ex of 2 years. Well I was walking by the desktop computer and saw a message from him saying "i need it" and there were pictures attached. Interested I attempted to open but couldnt. So i sent a message back as her telling him to resend. I deleted all messages and patiently waited to see what this tool was talking about. Well i got impatient so i installed a key logger to track her password. I merely wanted to intercept his response. She eventually confessed a few days later about the message and insisted she hadnt responded. She only waited because she did not want to ruin our weekend. Because i trust her i let it go. Well about a week later I walked into the office on her and she was typing an email. It started with her age and location but she quickly minimized it. I told her i only wanted a kiss and she said she was doing something private. I walked away. She came to me and said she was emailing her mother? I knew then something was wrong. Remebering i had installed the key logger i logged into her email the next day only to read a very vulgar conversation she was having with a woman she had met on craislist. She had always told me she had been into women but that it was over. The email clearly indicated that she could not live without a womans touch anymore.
So for the last few days i have been monitoring her messages. She has since changed her password but I can still see every word she types on the desktop. She has been using our laptop which has no logger. We just picked up our invitations for our wedding sunday, and that very day she is emailing a woman. She has already told me she plans on getting her nails done on Friday when I am at work. I am not as upset as i thought I would be but i know i cant pretend i know nothing forever
I have cheated on nearly every woman i dated, this was the first time i was faithful, so maybe its not fair for me to just walk away. We had discussed possibly a threesome even though i want a committed relationship just weeks ago, to address her "urge" but behind my back, this is just insane. Maybe this is karma
Okay this is going to be lengthy but I have to get it off my chest. My fiancee and I are to be wed in October. We have been together for just over a year. We met through craigslist when I was relocated last year. She was everything I thought I wanted. She had exaggerated about her personality but she was so unbelieveably gorgeous I overlooked the small indiscrepancies. We relocated together right after I proposed to her (6mos after we met). Things have been great, she frequently had bouts of depression but our relationship is still new so I dont pretend to know everything about her.
She had constantly been getting messages on facebook from her ex of 2 years. Well I was walking by the desktop computer and saw a message from him saying "i need it" and there were pictures attached. Interested I attempted to open but couldnt. So i sent a message back as her telling him to resend. I deleted all messages and patiently waited to see what this tool was talking about. Well i got impatient so i installed a key logger to track her password. I merely wanted to intercept his response. She eventually confessed a few days later about the message and insisted she hadnt responded. She only waited because she did not want to ruin our weekend. Because i trust her i let it go. Well about a week later I walked into the office on her and she was typing an email. It started with her age and location but she quickly minimized it. I told her i only wanted a kiss and she said she was doing something private. I walked away. She came to me and said she was emailing her mother? I knew then something was wrong. Remebering i had installed the key logger i logged into her email the next day only to read a very vulgar conversation she was having with a woman she had met on craislist. She had always told me she had been into women but that it was over. The email clearly indicated that she could not live without a womans touch anymore.
So for the last few days i have been monitoring her messages. She has since changed her password but I can still see every word she types on the desktop. She has been using our laptop which has no logger. We just picked up our invitations for our wedding sunday, and that very day she is emailing a woman. She has already told me she plans on getting her nails done on Friday when I am at work. I am not as upset as i thought I would be but i know i cant pretend i know nothing forever
I have cheated on nearly every woman i dated, this was the first time i was faithful, so maybe its not fair for me to just walk away. We had discussed possibly a threesome even though i want a committed relationship just weeks ago, to address her "urge" but behind my back, this is just insane. Maybe this is karma
"You have been together just over a year....this was the first time I was faithful..." Or is it that you just hadn't cheated yet? Funny, how some people can cheat and cheat and cheat til they are blue in the face but when it happens to them, it's so unfair. Sorry. This is how my STBX is. He has been a serial cheater for 15 years (and yes, stupid me for staying with him) but if I so much as look at another guy, he gets jealous.
I may come back and write more later after others respond too.
Why are you being a jerk? I never cheated in OUR relationship. My choosing to tell her about my past was growth. My past has nothing to do with the relationship between my fiancee and I. 100% faithful for the year she has known me
I have followed this forum for quite some time and only joined after seeing all of the positive feedback members have had to offer. The few responses that I have received so far are really dissapointing. If you arent going to give actual feedback, or offer some assistance please do not reply. Respectfully
Yes, on it's current track and without massive overhauls and core shifts in both of you this relationship is doomed.
Sorry chief this type of "love" will not conquer all.... Up to you what you do, as it stands your on a path racing at breakneck speed and there is a bridge out ahead. Hopefully your not going to fast to see the signs... they are clear.
Seriously man....you just told a bunch of victims of infidelity that you have cheated on multiple people a bunch of times...
What the heck do you want from us...a pat on the back?
fine fair enough. I am a victim in this case. I was being honest. Truthfully the exs that i "cheated on", i didnt really cheat i just broke up with them but they would say that they were cheated on. Maybe the title threw you all off. I was simply requesting assistance on how i should go about something like this. My goodness. I found a fault and tried to change, i thought this was a christian forum
[QUOTE=brayln;300140]Why are you being a jerk? I never cheated in OUR relationship. My choosing to tell her about my past was growth. My past has nothing to do with the relationship between my fiancee and I. 100% faithful for the year she has known me[/QUOTE
If telling it like it is is being a jerk, then so be it. Here's some more jerk for you. You have not cheated in this current relationship...YET. It's only been a year. And your past has ALOT to do with it. Our past shapes us into who we are today. You are a serial cheater, you have admitted to it and nowhere do you mention that you have gone to counseling to help yourself. A person such as yourself who repeatedly cheats, WILL do it again. You probably won't find anyone here who feels sorry for you. Now, as victims of infedility, we can offer you straight up, no holds barred advice and opinions but because of your past with serial cheating, if you want to have a future with your curreny GF, get yourself help or down the road you will be back on here crying that you cheated and she left you.
The few responses that I have received so far are really dissapointing. If you arent going to give actual feedback, or offer some assistance please do not reply. Respectfully
I will tell you what you might not want to hear, If you decide not to listen or decide to be defensive about it thats your choice.
Frankly, I don't care who you've cheated on in the past. It does establish a clear "likelyhood" but that's another issue and will have nothing to do with the facts/opinions I offer... Fact is, your relationship is in DEEEEEEEEEEEEEP do-do right now.
If you want to hear that it's gonna be Ok with some maintainance, or get some simple solutions that will ease the bumps and potholes your already seeing on a journey your determined to take.... We can't help... If you want the truth and your prepared for the fact that you might not like it, I'll bet you'll find some great guidance here...
WTF the premise of your statment is that this is my fault because I may have been unfaithful in the past? I elaborated, no i did not cheat because i was never in a serious relationship but hey someone else might call it that so im being fair. If i commit myself to recovery from what i would call serial dating over serial cheating then why could i not spend my life committed to one person. I didnt realize Jesus worked the forums, your excellence please teach me how to be perfect like you
Maybe I Deserve This 
