If you haven't alread (I just jumped ahead to post a reply) please don't contact her again, and make sure she knows you don't want to be contacted.
One HUGE thing that was wrong with your letter was that you explained that she damaged you. She hurt you. Her actions made you cry. Girl, you are barking up a dead tree. She DOESN'T CARE that she hurt you, so you have to stop telling her that. You can whine at her all you want, but she's not going to care. What you HAVE to do now, if she contacts you again, is show some ANGER and DISCIPLINE and lay down LAWS AND RULES.
You are giving her power by showing your weak side to her. Enough is enough. If you do come in contact again, show her your power. Show her you won't stand for her anymore. She's crossed your line and she's not sorry, and she doesn't care...and she KNOWS she can stay over that line because you're allowing her to see that you're wounded.
Are you angry enough now to understand that its time to cross HER line? Push her back where she belongs? STOP telling her that you're injured and weak. SHOW her what your rules are and that you are a strong woman.
Jazz makes a good point. Never let them see u sweat. On the one hand though I understand u wanting to tell herr off and let her know she is a homewrecker who has been a nightmare to ur marriage. Hopefully the guilt will consume her. I've alreaady said this but it takes a person from a scum. And disgusting level to have the audacity to showup. At ur marital home and wait for ur. Hub. She is a total POS. And so is ur huub right now. When she emails back. U could tell her 'do not contact me again or go anywhere near my home. U have already done enough and don't be suurprisd. If u r mentioned in a divorce petition in front of a judge.K then...go darkM no more contact and tell ukr hub he has to move out. Today. Posted via Mobile Device
she has not wrote me back since I told her off. And my dear sweet lovable husband (I do say that quite sarcastically) has informed today he found an efficiency apartment to stay in. How nice that will be I'm sure. Leaving our 5 bedroom home to stay in an efficiency apartment. Well, I hope it was worth it to him
Wow, it's crazy how different the wayward spouses can be.
Your husband is telling you everything (well not all, but a lot). And mine won't admit squat. Crazy.
I don't know how you are still in the house with him. His crap would be out on the lawn by now pulling that stunt!
He's not been admitting anything either. I've only gotten admissions after I gave him hard evidence such as receipts or online communications I found and printed off.
I did a cartwheel in the driveway last night while H was putting his totes i packed up for him in the car... i havent done a cartwheel since i was 19.. it was AWESOME!
HA HA I dont know you or what you look like but I had a visual of you doing cartwheels and flips in the yard. LMAO!
I'm having a terrrible morning. I woke up and found myself missing him terribly. It's so painful right now. I've been crying and crying all morning, thinking about how he is supposed to be here with me but he's not. He's not because of her. I hate her so much. I never did a damned thing to her. Why does she have any right to MY husband? I blame him too. I'm pretty sure he was aware of the fact he is married. I hate him for he did to our family. I hate him for his willingness to destroy each and everyone of us for "her". And I hate myself for ever taking him back 5 and a half years ago. I hate myself for being stupid enough to give him another chance. And I hate myself for waking up and actually wishing he was here. I just want all these emotions to go away already. I want to be able to turn myself off like he did and not care at all.
I know, it's only been 3 weeks since we separated and only 3 days since I found out the whole truth. I know it will take time. It's just that this morning when I woke up, I realized that he was not here at all last night. I do not know where he was last night. I imagine he was with her. I imagine he spent the night with her. (I can not say that for sure though but when he tells me he's going to pursue her with all he has, where else would I think he is?) As much as I want him moved out of our house, I also hate the thought of him being with her. How is it that some people can so willingly destroy another person's family all for their own selfish needs? That takes a special kind of person right there.
It doesn't take away the pain but know that there are many who have gone through what you are facing right now and we understand. I am always hopeful that the cheater wakes up in enough time that reconciliation is possible. But reconciliation is only worthwhile to the betrayed if the wounds aren't too deep to be permanent scars. I always hoped my ex would wake up & come running back with remorse, willing to do whatever it took to fix our relationship and heal my hurt. Now I see I would always be the fixer, even if I'm the one who needs him to reach out to me. It would never be good for me. I still get mad and still get sad. I grieve the fun closeness & connectedness we had. But he made the choice to ruin our relationship; I didn't. You've done well...better than I did. Even if it feels that you won't make it, have courage & don't give in. You are a good person and good people don't encourage the demons to thrive.
It doesn't take away the pain but know that there are many who have gone through what you are facing right now and we understand. I am always hopeful that the cheater wakes up in enough time that reconciliation is possible. But reconciliation is only worthwhile to the betrayed if the wounds aren't too deep to be permanent scars. I always hoped my ex would wake up & come running back with remorse, willing to do whatever it took to fix our relationship and heal my hurt. Now I see I would always be the fixer, even if I'm the one who needs him to reach out to me. It would never be good for me. I still get mad and still get sad. I grieve the fun closeness & connectedness we had. But he made the choice to ruin our relationship; I didn't. You've done well...better than I did. Even if it feels that you won't make it, have courage & don't give in. You are a good person and good people don't encourage the demons to thrive.
yes, this is how I feel. I have always been the one to try to make it better and he has never cared. He hurt me and he didnt care that he did. I cannot fix it this time and even if he was to come back to me, he has betrayed me one too many times. The wounds will not heal this time. I need to start packing his memory away. Anything in my house that has a memory of him needs to go away. I am grieving today. I feel so lonely today. Sitting here missing the closeness, missing his touch, missing feeling whole. I'm burtsing into tears at any given moment and sobbing for a few minutes before calming down again. I think that his utter lack of conscience over what he did is worse than the actual affair. I wish he could at least be sorry, but he is not.
Re: "Just a friend" needs to go away already 
