04-23-2011, 12:26 PM
Join Date: Apr 2011
| | Baby-steps Towards Trust
Last September my husband cheated on me with an ex. He's had no contact with her since and has put forth a lot of it effort into making me feel loved and appreciated.
We had a hiccup a week or two ago about him befriending another ex (one who had sent me lingeray pics while we were split up once) and I asked him to remove her from his friends list, even though they've known eachother since they were very young. At first he complained but then he did it and agreed once I explained to him why I felt that way.
Today he asked me something huge. You see, the A with the OW started as an EA, and then was taken to a PA when he went for a visit down to his sister's place (2hrs away and where he grew up) one weekend to work on his truck. He hooked up with her during that time. Since then I pretty much told him he wasn't allowed in that part of the state AGAIN WITHOUT ME by his side. He's agreed and he's only gone to visit family with me next to him.
However, he needs a part off his truck at his sister's place to put on the truck we have here...and he asked me today if he'd be allowed to go get it. I work so I can't go with him. He told me that he'd have his sister call me when he arrived at her place and call me when he left. I told him that didn't matter since after he left he could go see the OW. He said that I know approx how long it takes to get from there to here, so if she called me and told me he left, I'll know he'd come right home because I could keep track of the time.
After some careful consideration I told him that I didn't want her to call me. I didn't want her husband to call me. I told him it didn't matter. I told him that I'd allow him to go get the part for the truck, but I didn't want him to think that he could go down there all the time and work on his other truck like he used to do last summer. I told him I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle him being down there in the general area as the OW all the time. He agreed and told me it wasn't going to happen. That he would go get this part, come back, and we'd be right back to the "only in that part of the state together" rule.
He gave me some very soft, loving kisses and left to go get those parts.
I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a tall building with a bunch of wind at my back. The wind is strong, but not strong enough to push me over. Wind is unpredictable and untrustworthy though. It could gust at any time and toss me over the edge if I trust it too much.
My heart sinks. I want to trust him. I don't want to recieve any phone calls. I really do want to trust him. I'm just so scared to.