I have been reading 2 books on letting go over the past couple of weeks, to help me get my mind, and mainly heart, right to let go. Exploring this issue has helped a lot in getting some clarity.
The problem with letting go is this little problem of the "feeling" of love. When you have that certain feeling in your heart, all the clarity and rationalization in the world get over shadowed by the feeling.
Once the feeling is gone it is soooo much easier to let go, well it is for me at least.
Although we live in the same house we communicate via email, since she has chosen to not speak to me anymore... pisses me off, but that is what I have to deal with for now.
Anyway, I put together an email letting her know that I am letting her go. Basically, I will tell her I love her, but I need to let her go to ease the pain.
Its very painfull for me to tell her this, but I know this is the best thing I can do right now. I am trying to let her go in my heart and mind. Although I am thinking maybe when she sees I am letting her go she may have doubts about leaving. I wont get hopeful about this though, but it would be nice if it happens.
The reality is everything she says and does indicates she has her mind set on leaving me, so no more damage can be done by telling her I am letting her go. A bit of the 180 I guess.
Letting go is key to moving on. In fact, I dont believe you can really move on until you let go of your stbx in your heart. Easier said than done, thats for sure.