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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-03-2011, 01:38 PM   #76 (permalink)
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Default Re: caught him again

I don't think Plan A will be effective in Para's case. She has already done all of that. Plan B, IMO, is the only think that could work.

But I do agree ...without aplan or time limit, Para will be waiting around for a long time stuck in limbo. He seems the tyupe to make her want to do all the dirty work. Won't commit but won't let her go either.
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Old 05-03-2011, 01:42 PM   #77 (permalink)
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well, it's not a matter of letting go....it's about him not being able to handle the consequences of his actions, I am holding myself responsible and accountable, and he won't. He can't handle the pressure of me "talking about things" all of the time. He as I was in a deep depression, and we both didn't make good decisions for a very long time. He was telling me up until yesterday he needed time to work himself to a place where he was making good decisions again. I had asked him last night if we are done, he said I guess, it can't work, we both know that. I answered back no, YOU think it can't work, I think it can. But whatever, I am letting go, not of my love, but him. I have to for my own sanity, and only pray he comes around before it's too late, I will do plan a in conjunction for myself.
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Old 05-03-2011, 01:49 PM   #78 (permalink)
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well, it's not a matter of letting go....it's about him not being able to handle the consequences of his actions, I am holding myself responsible and accountable, and he won't. .

And that is his problem. Not yours. You work on you. If he can't work on him and acept his faults, then that is his issue. Do you see that?

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I had asked him last night if we are done, he said I guess, it can't work, we both know that. I answered back no, YOU think it can't work, I think it can.
He does that because it make his decision to not want to save the marriage easier for him. So he pushes it partly on you. My ex did that too. He trie dto say the divorce was as much a choice as mine as it was his. Which it wasn't. But they do taht to justify to themselves this.

You know the truth. And the truth is he won't meet you halfway and isn't willing to work past everything to restore your marriage.
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Old 05-03-2011, 01:51 PM   #79 (permalink)
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yup I know all of that, reality bites. That's why I refused his comment We know it won't work, because I know it's a cop out.
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Old 05-03-2011, 02:26 PM   #80 (permalink)
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oh, and just to add for another level of entertainment, during our scheduled "talk" the other night, I asked him if it would bother him if I dated, (I am NOT going to) he said, "I'm sure it would bother me, but if that's something you needed to do...." grrrrr, this man is truly a piece of work right now. Can we say.......justification?
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Old 05-03-2011, 02:27 PM   #81 (permalink)
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Yeah. They start saying that when they're checked out, usually. Or deeply in the fog, Either way they say it when they're not fully committed.

But I can bet you if you DID go out on a date, he would lose it.

Funny. LOL.
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Old 05-03-2011, 02:31 PM   #82 (permalink)
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isn't being checked out and in the fog kind of the same thing? Can they be both? I think it would hurt him, at least a little, I am NOT gonna do it, but sometimes you wonder.....he wouldn't say anything either. I am not going to stoop to his level, he can have his little thing with that little troll, I can't stop him, but I have to move on.
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Old 05-03-2011, 02:42 PM   #83 (permalink)
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It could be both.

But generally when someone is completely done, the fog isn't really teh problem anymore. They just want out.
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Old 05-03-2011, 02:43 PM   #84 (permalink)
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he can have his little thing with that little troll,
You have called her a troll a few times. Pit called my wife's OM a leprechaun. Supposedly, he is available now. Maybe we could hook the two of them up. lol

I'm not trying to make light of your pain. Just trying to make you laugh. Laughter is good medicine.
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Old 05-03-2011, 02:48 PM   #85 (permalink)
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That's the thing he kept saying before yesterday he wasn't sure if he wanted out, some days yes and some days no, I am still thinking the fog. For instance a few weeks ago, we were laying in bed, he for no reason reached over and just held me for a long time. I have caught him looking at me several times with that old look he had there, I am pretty sure it's mostly the fog. For instance, when he ended it with her back in March, things were going alright, he would say I love you this and that, then the last couple of weeks all this crap came up. Such as I don't have loving feelings for you right now, I don't want to lead you on, I don't want to make it harder for both of us, and the secretive cell texting again, it's like DUH!!!! I am still leaning more towards fog. He was saying a month ago he was in love with me, now it's him saying the last week or two, I only said it back because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Yeah, let's keep piling the cow **** into the pile baby.

Hurt, maybe we should hook pig face troll and leprechaun up LOL.
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Old 05-03-2011, 02:54 PM   #86 (permalink)
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Hurt, maybe we should hook pig face troll and leprechaun up LOL.

I've got his number, address, DOB, etc. Only thing is that the troll would have to travel to CO to be with him. He is apparently unable to travel. lol
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Old 05-03-2011, 03:02 PM   #87 (permalink)
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You have called her a troll a few times. Pit called my wife's OM a leprechaun. Supposedly, he is available now. Maybe we could hook the two of them up. lol

I'm not trying to make light of your pain. Just trying to make you laugh. Laughter is good medicine.
Supposedly my hubs ow is still in love with her ex-boyfriend. I've thought about calling this ex boyfriend up and asking him out. How you like them apples, b*itch.
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Old 05-03-2011, 03:04 PM   #88 (permalink)
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THAT would be funny hehe.
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Old 05-03-2011, 03:11 PM   #89 (permalink)
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Supposedly my hubs ow is still in love with her ex-boyfriend. I've thought about calling this ex boyfriend up and asking him out. How you like them apples, b*itch.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but that would be hilarious. She will get hers.
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Old 05-03-2011, 03:13 PM   #90 (permalink)
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Apple, I would have called the boyfriend a LONG time ago. And told him she is having an affair with your H. He has a right to know. Do it.

Then drop-kick your H in the face and tell him to leave.
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