Well, biding my time for proof proved me well, I was able to log onto at&t finally and see texting history, texting the last EA quite frequently, I called and confronted, told him that he will have his bags packed for him when he gets home. I told him he can stay at his sisters until he can file or he is 100% committed to ceasing all contact in FRONT of me, and completely committed to working on our marriage. I am done, I love this man, but I won't allow this anymore. Whatever, I am done, he needs to make the first move this time. I am going to tell my children that daddy is still talking to this woman, regardless of the context of the messages, and I am going to leave it up to him if they want to see him. I have most of his clothes packed, and his laptop packed just need to get around to getting his toiletries in order....he can call his sister and tell her why he has to go over there again. I was willing to give him his time to get himself fixed, but to find out this whole time he was lying on contact. No more, buck stops here.
Make sure you hold fast to that.... he's definitely gonna test it to see if you'll take him back or give him ANOTHER "another" chance.
May I ask how old are your children?
My kids are 13 12 and 6, the eldest know everything that happened, my son asked why I am packing daddy's things, I said he is talking to a bad person again. I will be telling my daughters when they get home.
I have my line drawn, I told him point blank her or me, he is to go to his sisters until he can file or commit 100% to our marriage and adhere to the conditions which means no contact and do NC in my presence. I won't be the one to file, doesn't matter if they are just "friendly" texts, it went romantic last time. Bull****. I am done, if he is willing to come home and adhere to transparency, being accountable, etc., full blown marriage counseling, etc, then I would be willing to give him one last chance. For now, I will not contact him, I will have his things on the porch, I will not speak to him about it. Tricky thing is that we are supposed to have "scheduled" talks as instructed by our counseler, I won't participate in those, because it was all bull****. If he's not willing to commit to our marriage all the way then I guess it's over. I was willing to give him time here at home to get his head back on straight, but that's when I stupidly believed him that there was NC. It amazes me at how much easier it is this time. I just want to dump his **** in the back of his pickup at work and have his coworkers wonder why the hell I am doing it.
I chose to believe, but kept the fact that she might spring up again in the back of my mind, and was preparing myself for the worst, I kind of had sneaking suspicions. I was just biding my time to see if he was truthful and/or giving himself enough rope to hang himself. I just wonder why it didn't show up on our alltel.com, she must have switched companies. I contacted her and SHE threatened to turn me over to the cops, I wasn't threatening at all LOL!!! Whatever, she can have him, she is just as lying, duplicitous, and conniving as he is. This is NOT the man that I am married to. No wonder he didn't have loving feelings to me, he was too busy texting pig face troll.
I don't know, I hung up on him LOL, afterwards I txted saying I am giving you one last chance me or her, and I said I hope she's worth it. He txted back can't talk way busy. Whatever, but he can text with the *****, fine. She can have him, if I am worth losing over him feeling he has this "right" to talk to her, then whatever. Someone told me recently on here she should go on Fugly.com hahaha.
Have an intermediary set up that you use for any communication about the children. Go dark , set your terms, if he agrees he stays away and evidences full NC verified by a polygraph. Any MC is a waste of time until the affair is dead and buried. Best wishes , be cold and calculating with him, do not waver. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't know, I hung up on him LOL, afterwards I txted saying I am giving you one last chance me or her, and I said I hope she's worth it. He txted back can't talk way busy. Whatever, but he can text with the *****, fine. She can have him, if I am worth losing over him feeling he has this "right" to talk to her, then whatever. Someone told me recently on here she should go on Fugly.com hahaha.
I choose you = 12 buttons pushed on phone
Can't talk way busy = 19 buttons pushed on phone
You have your answer. He's trying to play it cool, like it means nothing so you'll beg him back. I agree with NC. It's the only way he's going to get it. He needs to know what life will be like without you in it.
I don't plan on it, I gave him a chance when he supposedly ended it in mid March. I believed him, we had gone to a couple of MC sessions. I can't let him do this to me anymore. I asked him how can you do this to me again? I asked why did you lie to me, he said, it's hard to tell you stuff like this J, I was like WTF!!!!!! That's when I said I will have your things packed for you when you get home. Thing is that I believed it was, but here recently he said he doesn't have loving feelings for me, well no ****ing wonder sherlock!!! He had been loving and stuff, I don't know how long they have been going at this again, I don't know if it ever even stopped. I asked him if he said I love you to her, he said, no it's all bull**** stuff, well homie that's what you said last time. I don't believe a goddamn word that comes out of his mouth. I can't go to counseling right now because he keeps forgetting to get me and the kids on his main jobs insurance.
That text was sent just shortly after I confronted him, after the text he sent me I responded with this, not too busy for her no wonder there's no loving feelings giving her the attention that I should be getting whatever I guess you have a choice, I'm not the one who did bad. Here I am the fool who chose to try and trust you. You swore up and down there was no contact. This one is on you. You were so convincing last night saying how sorry you were when this whole time you were doing whatever with her. I have given you a choice, it's up to you who is more important. You said I deserved honesty. I see how well that is doing for ya. I am not begging, me or her, that's it i don't care if it's just friends look what happened last time. I didn't stand a chance.
This is taken straight off of my phone, and will be the last contact I have unless he initiates, and that is the gospel truth.
I can't go to counseling right now because he keeps forgetting to get me and the kids on his main jobs insurance.
If you go to church, try your pastor. A friend of mine set me up with a pastor at a church that I can see out of my office window. He is also a counsellor. I have had a couple of visits with him and several phone calls. There is no charge.
I also had been holding off on counselling because of funding. This guy is awesome and it's free. You might want to check that out.
It sucks that you're in this position but I'm glad you were able to find out because he could have come around eventually saying it was all over when really he was hiding it behind his back even longer. So better now then anytime in the future. He has shown his true colors. You did your best and it's quite apparent that he isn't good enough for you. Settle for nothing but the best, you deserve nothing but the best and this prick ain't it.
caught him again 
