So let me start with a little background. My wife had an Ea and a PA that lasted 2 and a half months. I found out almost 2 months ago. She says it started as an EA only, then became a PA. She has said they had sex 10 times. I'm not sure if I believe her or not. The OM is a cop, and leading up to D-day, he had been threatening me with arrest, saying he will see my wife no matter what, he even sent the cops to my work, accusing me of abusing my wife, which I never have. I had been suspecting an EA, but ever think a PA. On D-day, he had me arrested, after making false accusations,again. I spent 36 hours in jail 15 minutes after finding out about the affair, over the phone by my wife. I didn't even get to talk to my wife after finding out.
I have stayed with my wife, of 10 years, who is very remorseful. We are seeing a MC. I am slowly forgiving my wife, but am having an extremely hard time with the sex part. I can't stop the constant thoughts of her f*$#ing him. I have told her I want to know all the details of the sex. She has told me she has blocked it out, and doesn't remember much. But non the less has agreed to tell me what she remembers and answer my questions. I know there are mixed thoughts on knowing, but I can't move forward with out knowing.
My question to all of you, specifically those who have asked for details of the PA, is what questions do I ask? What questions did you ask of the PA? Do you regret asking, was it worse than you thought? Better? Thank you in advance, forgive me for any mistakes, this is my first post, be gentle on me.