Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-13-2011, 02:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

A little over 2 weeks ago, I recieved a phone call from my husband while doing overtime (even though it was only 4 pm). I picked up the phone thinking he must be coming home early. To my shock, I hear him spanking someone, and talking dirty to this person. Clearly having sex, moaning between spanking and dirty talking. I screamed his name, but he continued, I screamed it again, still he continued, the 3rd time I screamed as loud as my vocal chords allowed and he hung up! I immediately called back in which he picked up the phone and said "No, no I was just joking around!". I hung up on him and a few minutes later he began calling non stop. Came home about 30 min. later and tried saying he was punched in, I can see his time card. And he and a male co worker had finished a job on time and he thought it was funny to "pretend" to have sex. Made no sense! I told him that story is the most lame, unbelievable story I've ever heard in my life. And if he wanted this to get better. He has to admit what he has done. Mind you we have 3 kids. One being autistic. He told me if I don't believe him than there is nothing he can do. I said "lie detector" he said "no because then it will be fine for a while, til you think I'm doing something else". So clearly he must like the other person. Because he is giving up our family so easily. I asked him to leave, he said no. He loves the kids and I am working days and attending nursing classes in the evenings starting in aug. So he said he wants kids and will watch them for me. I'm so torn up over all this drama. The betrayal I feel is unexpainable. The torment and pain my whole body is feeling. Can't sleep, can't eat, was out of work for a few days. House falling apart. I feel like a huge piece of me is gone. That wanting to do it all feeling I had, for my family, for him has dissappeared. There is a whole in my soul. Is the only way I can describe it.

Any help?????

Tammy
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Old 05-13-2011, 03:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

Tammy stick to your demand for a polygraph , you want the name of the coworker no debate , you want the truth , you want trust and love in your marriage, if he declines then determine what you want out of marriage. You cannot and must not accept his cheating . He has been caught and if he has any respect for your marriage and you he would tell the truth.This will eat you alive until he comes clean, sadly I think your husband is going to lie until the last minute. Tell his parents , siblings you caught him having sex with another woman, update your parents , be unrelenting in your trust in what you heard. No one is going to believe his story. Do not go to MC as he is not honest or trustworthy.

Unless he changes you may have to take this to the separation step, you must do this for your own well being. Lay it on the table to your husband , do not waver , no matter how much he promises to do the fundamental issue is trust, his inability to be honest and start to earn your trust.
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Old 05-13-2011, 03:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

Did it sound like he called you on purpose, or did he accidentally dial you in his pocket?
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Old 05-13-2011, 03:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

Would you call your wife and pretend to have sex with someone else , when challenged to take a detector he declines , why ? Because he has something to hide and he knows the first question is, Were you having sex ? Ping
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Last edited by Eli-Zor; 05-13-2011 at 04:29 PM.
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Old 05-13-2011, 03:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

Where does he usually keep his phone? And why would he hang up if it was a joke? Look at his cell records. You might find her number there.
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Old 05-13-2011, 03:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

If you don't want to be miserable, even though it will be very hard, you need to let him know you are not second best and won't put up with it for a minute.

Look at the 180 stuff on here. And go and visit a lawyer (let him know you are too).

Let him know either he's in the marriage or he's out. (personally I'd have packed his bags then and there).

Tell him you aren't even sure if you want him and that he's got a lot to prove if he wants you.

Let him know you won't do what he's suggested because even though it may be tough on every one, you know you aren't doing your self or your children any favours by allowing yourself to be treated that way. Let him know that your children will grow up with the message that being unfaithful is not acceptable and that you are a woman who deserves better.

it may be the hardest thing you have ever done. but you have done nothing wrong, and he will be the one choosing to abandon his family not you.
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

he also needs an std test and no sex with you without a condom.
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
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What you should do is not listen to these people who are on here,AND BE A BIG GIRL,and make descions yourself.Someone failed to mention why they are so insecure of themselves,and what they have done in the past,you should be working out with your husband,not us.A list of demands isnt gunna solve anything T.B.Mybe he is innocent of what you are accusing him of,and mybe he done wanna do this anymore cause this is what you do instead of talking to him,mybe you give him a hard time if he is 1 minute late coming home,or mybe you give him a hard time for leave 1 minute early,mybe you have a long past that you are failing to mention.Mybe you make things up and say he looking at people he aint.mybe you are saying things to the kids you shouldnt.mybe you dont let him do anything say go fishing,talk to someone unless you can hear him,have a friend,question his sexuality,act like he is your enemy.mybe you that you cant stand him,hes gay,i hate him.tell me this "lost30",why are you with him then.do you let hin be himself?can he talk to you withour beibg ridiculed?do you treat him more of an emeny than a friend?do you say you wanna get along for the kids,then argue and say what you want,then dont listen to anythng he has to say?mybe he feels sick of doing it,mybe iy has to do with everything else than what you are talking a bout,and this is just another reason for you to have another episope.you should focus on doing the right thing for the kids,not be concerned a bout revenge on false accounts,and focus on moving forward so this can stop.
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:26 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

If you believe him, one day he'll be cheating at home and try to convince you his ho is lamptable.

What an idiot he is!
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ClipClop View Post
Where does he usually keep his phone? And why would he hang up if it was a joke? Look at his cell records. You might find her number there.
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Or "his" number lol, sorry. Do what Eli-zor sais.
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:33 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by found30 View Post
What you should do is not listen to these people who are on here,AND BE A BIG GIRL,and make descions yourself.Someone failed to mention why they are so insecure of themselves,and what they have done in the past,you should be working out with your husband,not us.A list of demands isnt gunna solve anything T.B.Mybe he is innocent of what you are accusing him of,and mybe he done wanna do this anymore cause this is what you do instead of talking to him,mybe you give him a hard time if he is 1 minute late coming home,or mybe you give him a hard time for leave 1 minute early,mybe you have a long past that you are failing to mention.Mybe you make things up and say he looking at people he aint.mybe you are saying things to the kids you shouldnt.mybe you dont let him do anything say go fishing,talk to someone unless you can hear him,have a friend,question his sexuality,act like he is your enemy.mybe you that you cant stand him,hes gay,i hate him.tell me this "lost30",why are you with him then.do you let hin be himself?can he talk to you withour beibg ridiculed?do you treat him more of an emeny than a friend?do you say you wanna get along for the kids,then argue and say what you want,then dont listen to anythng he has to say?mybe he feels sick of doing it,mybe iy has to do with everything else than what you are talking a bout,and this is just another reason for you to have another episope.you should focus on doing the right thing for the kids,not be concerned a bout revenge on false accounts,and focus on moving forward so this can stop.
Maybe you should lay off the meth...
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

Is that her husband? Join date of today. 1 post. Opposite name.
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Agree
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:42 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

Quote:
Originally Posted by HurtinginTN View Post
Is that her husband? Join date of today. 1 post. Opposite name.
That's what I was thinking...
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:43 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband dialed me while having sex with co worker

Seems a lot of us were wondering that....
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