I found out yesterday that my wife cheated on me during the first year of our marriage, when we were having an argument and she went to stay with a friend. She slept with this friend and I had suspected they had slept together for many years of our marriage. Something just didn't seem right between the two of them. Whenever he introduced a new girlfriend to us, she was overly critical of her, to the point of sounding jealous. Whenever I would confront her about it, she would get pissed at me and tell me that I don't trust her and that nothing was going on and nothing had ever gone on between the two of them.
Yesterday, we were at her moms house for memorial day, to go swimming. Her mom and her cousin were there and they were drinking. My wife decided to set her cousin up with this friend. They were texting back and forth. Her mom, being drunk, said that this friend had mentioned that he hoped her cousin was happy with "small meat". I found this statement odd because I've never known this guy to talk like that with my wife. Well later after we left her moms house, I asked to hold her cell phone. She was apprehensive at first, but finally just gave it to me. I looked at the messages between her and this guy. Only one thing struck me as odd. When he sent the message about "small meat" her response was "no u don't". So I asked her how she knew the size of his ****. She said she didn't even remember sending that. I made her look at the messages again. She still maintained that she didn't remember sending it. She also still maintained they never slept together.
I told her that I wanted to hold her phone again. She asked why. I told her that I was going to send a message to him from her phone asking "Do you remember that time we slept together?" She asked why I wanted to send that message. I told her because if you haven't slept together, the response from him should be "WTF are you talking about?" and I would drop the subject forever and she could tell him that she sent the message to the wrong number accidently. She insisted that I send him the message from my phone so he wasn't tricked. I told her that if she wasn't going to let me send the message, then she was going to do it. I asked her if she already knew what the response would be, that's why she didn't want the message sent. This is when she came clean.
She told me that during the first year of our marriage, we had gotten into an argument and I kicked her out of the house. (I don't remember kicking her out of the house, I thought it was a mutual decompress period from the argument) She went to stay with him, which was fine to me because he was a good friend at the time and I didn't fear anything would happen then. She said while she was there it just happened. I told her that she always had the choice, that situations might be right, but right before that had sex, she could have chosen not to. She said that it was a mistake that she regrets and never happened again after that and that she was trying to just forget about it and hoped I would never find out because she never wanted to hurt me. I told her that lies are always revealed. It may be immediately or several years later, but lies are always found out.
I asked her if she had slept with him after that, or with anyone else while we've been married. She said she hadn't, which at this point, I don't believe. I told her we have three choices, she can leave, I can leave, or I can choose to forgive her but it would take time. I also told her that I better never hear this guys name, see his number on her phone or phone records. I told her that I still love her, I'm just confused about what to do now. I told her that this happened for her 7 years ago, but for me it might as well have happened yesterday.
She tried to sleep on the couch last night, but I told her she could sleep in the bed with me if she wanted to. I really don't have it in me to be an ******* right now. This morning she was all weepy. I went about doing my normal morning ritual because I'm not ready to decide yet and I think it's too soon to decide. My nerves are just shot and I don't know what to do. This is the ultimate betrayal.
Yesterday, we were at her moms house for memorial day, to go swimming. Her mom and her cousin were there and they were drinking. My wife decided to set her cousin up with this friend. They were texting back and forth. Her mom, being drunk, said that this friend had mentioned that he hoped her cousin was happy with "small meat". I found this statement odd because I've never known this guy to talk like that with my wife. Well later after we left her moms house, I asked to hold her cell phone. She was apprehensive at first, but finally just gave it to me. I looked at the messages between her and this guy. Only one thing struck me as odd. When he sent the message about "small meat" her response was "no u don't". So I asked her how she knew the size of his ****. She said she didn't even remember sending that. I made her look at the messages again. She still maintained that she didn't remember sending it. She also still maintained they never slept together.
I told her that I wanted to hold her phone again. She asked why. I told her that I was going to send a message to him from her phone asking "Do you remember that time we slept together?" She asked why I wanted to send that message. I told her because if you haven't slept together, the response from him should be "WTF are you talking about?" and I would drop the subject forever and she could tell him that she sent the message to the wrong number accidently. She insisted that I send him the message from my phone so he wasn't tricked. I told her that if she wasn't going to let me send the message, then she was going to do it. I asked her if she already knew what the response would be, that's why she didn't want the message sent. This is when she came clean.
She told me that during the first year of our marriage, we had gotten into an argument and I kicked her out of the house. (I don't remember kicking her out of the house, I thought it was a mutual decompress period from the argument) She went to stay with him, which was fine to me because he was a good friend at the time and I didn't fear anything would happen then. She said while she was there it just happened. I told her that she always had the choice, that situations might be right, but right before that had sex, she could have chosen not to. She said that it was a mistake that she regrets and never happened again after that and that she was trying to just forget about it and hoped I would never find out because she never wanted to hurt me. I told her that lies are always revealed. It may be immediately or several years later, but lies are always found out.
I asked her if she had slept with him after that, or with anyone else while we've been married. She said she hadn't, which at this point, I don't believe. I told her we have three choices, she can leave, I can leave, or I can choose to forgive her but it would take time. I also told her that I better never hear this guys name, see his number on her phone or phone records. I told her that I still love her, I'm just confused about what to do now. I told her that this happened for her 7 years ago, but for me it might as well have happened yesterday.
She tried to sleep on the couch last night, but I told her she could sleep in the bed with me if she wanted to. I really don't have it in me to be an ******* right now. This morning she was all weepy. I went about doing my normal morning ritual because I'm not ready to decide yet and I think it's too soon to decide. My nerves are just shot and I don't know what to do. This is the ultimate betrayal.